Sunday, June 18, 2006

2. Good Loving

Catering to your man with good lovin' is actually a topic that would make quite a huge study on it's own. First of all, bear in mind that sex is not the only part of good lovin'. Hugs, kisses, touches, massages and any other form of physical intimacy serve as other aspects to this multidimensional realm.

Sex has already been covered multiple times on this blog: Foreplay, Blowjobs from Girls, Blowjobs to Girls, Afterplay, Orgasmless Sex, Anal Sex, Reciprocity in the Bedroom, Spicing it Up, Talking Dirty, Fucking & Making Love, and sundry other topics, so I won't repeat what's probably already been said. However, I'm going to look at this from a whole different perspective.

With all the women & guys that I've talked to, we all have come to recognize that chemistry is the foundation stone of every good relationship. It's that initial zing, the fire, the attraction that calls you and excites, that makes you want to get to know the person better in every way imaginable. The term 'screw like rabbits' actually came about because during the honeymoon stage that seems like all new couples do.

In the earlier part of civilization, it was always thought that men enjoyed sex more then women while we just had to bear the act. It was preached that sex was for childbirth and once the heir was produced, all intimacies between couples would stop. It was thought that women never orgasmed at all, or could only orgasm *gasp* once! However, with the sexual evolution that has occurred over centuries, everyone knows now that this is not the case. Women love sex just as much as men do, and some of us even more! Every woman has an inner freak in her, the question is, how far down is the vixen? And what does your man have to do to get her out?

As with every facet of a relationship communication is key. You have to find out what he likes, what you like and everything in between. If he refuses to go downtown and expects a BJ every single day and this pisses you off, let it be known. Remember, men are not mind-readers. Most guys usually try what they used to do with their old lovers and figure it will pass muster with you. Being that every woman is different, has different spots, likes & dislikes it's hard for them to know what pleases you without some cooperation from you.

Don't just bear his mucking around with stoicism. Teach him, show him, tell him what you want and how you like it. If you are really shy about talking about it, send him over here to read a few posts;) Cosmo & Glamour have tips every single month on adding more tricks and techniques to your repertoire. Make a game of it. Introduce props. You can never go wrong with trying to spice it up. Sex should be enjoyable for BOTH parties. Explore, learn, discover your bodies together.

Sometimes, even the most highly sexual and passionate relationship can head for Slumpville. Either one or both of you is really not into the encounter, or you are sticking to the same monotonous routine that turns sex into a mundane activity that is inane and humdrum instead of thrilling and exciting.

First of all, you have to recognise that you are in the doldrums. Sure, we’re not expecting you to screw like rabbits 24/7 for the rest of your lives but if you haven’t gotten some decent action in a week or two (or more!), then consider this a wake up call. The excuse of having a headache or being too tired might work for a few times but eventually your significant other will start getting turned off and upset by your rejection.

“I’m not rejecting him, I’m just too tired or don’t have the energy,” you might say, but recognise that he doesn’t construe it as such. Saying no to sex constantly tells him that you aren’t as attracted to him as he is to you. Since guys equate attraction with love this also sends alarm bells in his head that you aren’t really that in love with him. He might even start questioning your motives or if you are cheating on him. Sure in our world, it’s not logical, but that’s the way they think.

You might say that just because you don’t feel like it you shouldn’t have to do anything you don’t really want to; or that ‘faking sex’ is worse than not having any at all however bear in mind that you are dealing with the male species. The average male thinks about sex about 72-206 times a day, it’s that important to their well being. So not getting any action for a significant amount of time is bound to drive him bonkers!

So what if you truly are genuinely tired? You want to have sex with him, but by the time you are done with your busy, long work day, errands, TV and dinner you just want to fall asleep! It’s hard enough waking up early in the morning around 6am but then waking up after not getting enough rest the night before is waaaay worse! You’ve tried to but it’s just not feasible during the work week to add anything else into the mix without ruining your day.

For starters, you have to reschedule your day. You already make the things that are important to you a priority and sex should rank right up there with the other basic needs. You might have to TiVo/videotape your favourite TV shows to enter the boudoir earlier. You might even need to schedule it in for a few regular nights a week. Scrap all evening plans that you normally have and spend the evening chilling with your man. Sure, it takes a bit out of the spontaneity angle–but at least that way you can plan around your busy life and keep both of you happy, connected and sexually satisfied.

Or you could be like my friend Jade and have sex in the morning instead of at night. “It’s actually a more satisfying encounter. I set my alarm for about 45 minutes earlier, go to bed earlier and wake up with enough energy to have several bouts of love-play. It’s a great way to start the day and leaves me smiling for the rest of the day.” Yeah, there’s the whole morning breath factor but I’m sure that you are smart enough to figure out how to deal with that;)

Good Loving ranks right on top of the list. So let'’s stop slacking off and start catering more to our men. Remember, if you don't cater to your man's needs, there is some other girl out there quite willing to oblige him. So ladies, take care of your man.

Labels: All About Sex, Foreplay, Girl Talk

Posted by Vixen @ 1:21 AM :: 3 trainees letting it rip!

Talk to Me!

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