Bad Girl's Guide

Monday, February 13, 2006

Q&A: Back Door Entry

Definition: Back Door Entry is pretty much the nickname for anal sex. Also known as tossing the salad, driving the dirt track, corndigging and I'm sure 20 other names that have to do with eeerrr, it.

Ok, there was a long question posted last week on the merits of anal sex and why guys like it so much. Rumor has it that guys like anal sex because it is tighter, in a more circular, tunnelly way than the vagina; which is still tight but not as tight, but in a more florally petal, fisty way. Apparently the vagina expands around their penises too quickly and the bum is always tight. They like it because it's different from the norm, not on the menu that much, used to be a taboo, some kind of dominant/submissive thing and they get the classic view of your butt.

We hate it because it friggin hurts, don't believe that stuff should go in through the exit door and we feel like we are going to crap all over your penis. Added to that, it isn't that fun, nor as comfortable, and the only person orgasming is you. Why would I want to feel like I'm about to go to the bathroom during sex? That's not a feeling that I would like to associate with anything sexual. Uuugh. Why don't you let me stick a dildo in your ass just for the fun of it? Yeah, betcha wouldn't like that, and if you did, then maybe you should start batting for the other team.

You might argue that with lube, it doesn't hurt as much, and we are "resisting having fun with your body", especially the fact that the nerve endings around the anus are interconnected with the pelvic muscles and it is possible to orgasm if you "let yourself go" but that still doesn't offset the fact that your thick 4-9 incher is not going to fit into my little bum hole without pain no matter how much you try to cajole me it will. It defies the laws of physics. Even Newton knew that!

Perchance, with much pain and suffering on my part, you manage to get it in, there are bodily side effects AFTER the sexual encounter that we have to deal with, embarrassing farts, messed up digestive cycles, hemmorhoids, bleeding, cuts, and expanded butt hole and sundry other effects that you won't even have to experience. Please tell me where the joy is there?

Our bodies were created a certain way for a reason. The sign clearly says EXIT ONLY, no entry. So no thank you. I'm an accommodating and a big ass freak in the bedroom, yet I make it a firm policy not to allow anything in my bum. It is just not going to friggin happen. End of story.

PS: If you are a woman that enjoys anal sex (apparently 39% of us do), feel free to expansiate in the comments section.

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Posted by Vixen @ 3:40 AM :: 19 trainees letting it rip!

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