Wednesday, January 18, 2006
Vixen's Guide to: After Play
This is another great request from a reader that needs to be tackled. If you haven't taken the survey yet, you can still take it. Click here to take Vixen's survey. It's automatically set so you can only take it once, so if you're not sure, you can click on it anyway.
Afterplay is an essential element in sexual encounters but, more often than not, tends to be overlooked by the male species. A well versed male knows that afterplay is crucial, and has been known to elevate your status from a "he was ok" to a "he was
You falling asleep right after the encounter does not count as afterplay. Neither does a pat on the back and a quick kiss as you rummage on your nightstand to find the remote control or cigarettes.
The fundamentals of afterplay are very simple, and even easier to master than most of the other points we have talked about so far. The key to everything is that you have to recognize that post-coitus, we feel more connected and closer to you. Although the encounter is over, we don't want this connection to quickly dissipate. So afterplay helps to gradually take us from the crescendo of our peaking.
In plain English, when ladies orgasm, it's a mind blowing experience. Research has shown that the brain actually shuts down for a few seconds while this occurs. So while our synapses are recharging, we need intimacy and closeness to complete the cycle.
Here are some main pointers to keep you in the running for future encounters.
- Do not fall asleep right away. I know that you guys are hardwired for this, but you break the number one afterplay rule if you zonk out. You snoring while we are still reliving the moment doesn't help foster any connection. Besides, staying awake for a few minutes wouldn't kill you.
- Duration of Afterplay. In the interest of compromise, I would have to suggest a MINIMUM of 5-10 minutes cuddle time. You can cuddle for five minutes if you were soooo amazing that even we are tired *note the sarcasm*, but anything less than that doesn't cut it.
- Premium cuddling involves your whole body wrapped around us. We like the heat and warmth so feel free to get close. Wrapping your arms around us, our head pillowed on your shoulder, all these positions are great. What is not great is you taking over the whole bed, or rolling over to your side of the bed.
- Sweet Nothings. Murmuring sweet words softly in my ear will get you future encounters. Your husky baritone will send shivers through my body and have me fantasizing about the next encounter...perhaps enacting it right there and then. Try phrases like, "you are amazing, that was really good" or "I really liked that thing to did when you..." You can never go wrong with praising your woman.
- Making Up. If you didn't give me an orgasm, this would be a great time to make it up to me. Try going downtown, hard core making out, or your own brand of titillating touches that should drive me wild.
- Bodily Functions. During afterplay is not the time to let out a big ol' fart or belch. Please keep your emissions to yourself. Holding it a few more minutes won't make you explode.
- No Wham Bams. This is not the time to decide that you don't like me. Don't just up and leave after the deed is done. A few minutes ago you were totally and completely into me - trying to get some action, so don't act like I'm a virtual stranger. That is just not polite, we are no longer in the wild west here.
- Conversation. Do not start talking about stuff that is totally unrelated to Us. I do not want to know if the Steelers game comes on in a few minutes, or what rims you are getting on your car. The proper topics during afterplay would be anything surrounding sex, the relationship, your feelings, the innermost thoughts that you normally don't talk about. Remember this is all about feeling fully connected, so you have to take down the barrier of BS and don't be afraid to show your romantic, vulnerable self.
- Stay Away from the Phone. Do not, under any circumstances, roll over, check your phone for missed calls or text messages, then proceed to return them! ESPECIALLY if they are from other women!!! You will get your ass kicked out of bed for that kind of crap.
- Hygiene: Suggest a shower together. You will heavy points for this. It's an activity that gets us clean, and still retains intimacy. Don't leave the used condom on or around my bed. Dispose of it properly. If you need directions, read the package. And if you can't find it, please let me know so that I don't find it dangling from my vagina when I'm in the shower the next day.
- Don't be greedy. If you are going to get food, snacks or water, bring back enough nourishment for two. Volunteering to go get water to replenish our sweaty selves will get you super points.
Ladies, anything to add?
Labels: All About Sex
Posted by Vixen @ 1:58 AM ::
10 trainees letting it rip!
Talk to Me!