Tuesday, June 13, 2006

On Clearing the Field

You've been in the dating field for a few weeks/months now. Your intuition is sharpened and you are uncannily able to pick out the good guys from the bad guys. However, from the good guys you meet---none of them are exactly what you are looking for. Sure, they are great guys and would make someone else a perfect match, just not you.

So do you keep dating him/them? Or once you've realized that you two aren't clicking do you end all future encounters? After all Vixen, you told us to keep busy and stay in the dating arena...?

There is only one answer to that question. No, you don't keep dating him. If you keep biding time with the guys that aren't right for you, when the guy who is right for you comes along....guess what, you are already booked up.

So clear your schedule. Let go of the guys that you don't have chemistry with, the ones that you don't have a good vibe about, the ones that have proven to you that they aren't worthy of you. Let go of them, stop dealing with them and make way so that when your right guy comes along---you will have time for him.

I know that as ladies, in the guise of being 'nice' it's sometimes hard to let go of guys that we aren't just feeling. But we overly complicate it in our mind. Just tell him that you are no longer available for dates & such. And then stop taking his calls and replying his messages. He will leave you alone rather quickly after that (unless he's a Bugaboo and then you need to read THIS). See--guys don't like rejection and at the first sight of it they are quite quick to stop the pursuit. Of course, there are the rare sort that won't take no for an answer, and in that case, you just have to be firm. Don't give them a possible yellow light.

"It's just not working/I'm just not feeling you. Please don't contact me again." Yeah, I know, it's harsh but quite effective.

Further reading: Gentle Dismissals, Following Up

Your Thoughts?

Labels: Dating

Posted by Vixen @ 12:56 AM :: 4 trainees letting it rip!

Talk to Me!

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