Please read the whole post from beginning to end---then let me know what you think.
Love within reason - That isn't love. I think people think that love should fit some cookie cutter, fiction-inspired mold. Great dates, fun conversations, great sex, lots of laughs. That's not love. That's romance. What sustains a relationship is sometimes the hard stuff. The bad times. Because the harder you work for something, the more you realize how much it means to you. The more you value it.
"Okay! I get it! It's hard work. I'm ready!"
Really? Are you ready? Are you ready to turn your whole life over to someone else? Are you ready to put your dreams aside to make room for someone else's? Are you ready to shelve that idea of "perfection" and re-define it? Are you ready to tell someone how you really feel without worrying if they're going to leave you? Are you ready to fight and disagree and worry about someone other than yourself?
This idea that love should be "fun" is the exact reason why so many people are single. There's a lot of people out there confusing "romance" with "love." They're getting caught up in the courtship aspect and not prepared for the commitment part. Commitment isn't just about fidelity. It's also about stamina. No, not that kind of stamina. I'm talking about longevity.
I've brought these example sup so many times, and I'll do it again. My Dad used to carry my Mom from room to room so that she could see us open presents of Christmas Day. He slept on a cot in our porch so he could be near her at night. He didn't withdraw, he didn't run, he didn't detach. He didn't quit because it stopped being "fun." My sister laid next to her husband while he took his last breath. Do you have any idea what kind of commitment that takes? To sit there and watch your lover literally die in front of your eyes? That's love. It wasn't pretty or safe or easy. It can be painful and ugly.
You want love? Be ready to get your hands dirty. Be ready to get bruised and a little battered. Stop expecting it to be that fairy tale you read about as a child.
Labels: Girl Talk