Bad Girl's Guide

Thursday, June 01, 2006

On Talking Dirty pt 2

Well, it seems that I might have looked at this from a different angle in part one. For all of you Women out there who don't get what the big deal about the last post was or just don't have the vibe of talking dirty, allow me to fully expansiate.

See, talking dirty isn't just the nasty words that I listed yesterday. It also includes alot of the other phrases we say in bed too. Probably the ones you say already. It includes stuff like the encouraging phrases like, "Yeah that feels good. That's my spot baby." To the more obvious commands/directions like "Harder, Faster. More to the left." It even covers fantasy phrases like the whole,"Aye Papi. Big Daddy. That's right Professor! to flat out exaggerations like "You are soooo big. That's the biggest cock I have ever seen."

So you see, you are probably already engaging in some form of dirty talk, though not to a hardcore extent like me and the other ladies in Part One. Now the reasons you might not be into the hardcore stuff are varied, but usually comprise of the few reasons examined yesterday. So how does a Woman who's not into dirty talk get into it? How does she get over that embarrassment, shyness and lack of know how? How does she even get herself into the mood for it?

First of all, you have to stop thinking that dirty talk is wrong. That's the kind of repressed thinking that leaves you wondering why your sex life is....umm, the humdrum way it is. There is nothing wrong with breaking out the nasty in the bedroom. It's empowering to speak your mind, it's liberating to be able to say how you want it and how you like it. It takes the technical element away from the boudoir and adds a little zing that you didn't even know you were missing. It enchants, excites and entices all with one turn of phrase. It amps up your sexual encounters from basic loveplay to sex that totally knocks your socks off and takes your breath away. It surprises your man, and opens you both up to whole new realms. It liberates you from conventional sex and conventional thinking. What's not to love?

There is a very thin line between talking dirty and sexual fantasies. Allow me to elucidate. Using dirty words = freaky sex = using dirty sentences = more freaky sex = telling dirty fantasies = totally mindblowing freaky sex. Get the picture?

Now if you are ready to take the plunge into this realm here are a few tips for you....
  1. Start slow. After all, Rome wasn't built in a day. Watch a few movies that have really good sex scenes. Like 91/2 Weeks, Basic Instinct, Taken or a few of your favorites. Watch those scenes that they are getting at it and take a few tips from them. If you think you sound stupid using those phrases, keep this in mind: They said it first and made millions off it. So Sharon Stone must have been doing something right.
  2. Read a few books. Yes, the best knowledge is still found in books. My personal favorite is Dirty Talk by Lynne Stanton. Follow some of the suggestions there. Get some erotica. The written word is so very powerful in all forms. Try out Zane books like the Sex Chronicles I &II. This should get your juices flowing. Those brazen vixens in the stories make my vixen-ish self blush. But I find that the more I read erotica, the more I take on these passionate tendencies. I envision the scenarios. I want to enact them. I use the words. Sparingly at first but eventually they become more commonplace in my bedroom antics.
  3. Add him to the fun. After all, you are going to be using these words with him. So leave a few books like this or just erotica lying around and his interest will be piqued enough to look. And you know how guys get when it's about amping up sex---they love it!
  4. Make it a game. Get those Sex dice and promise yourself that you will use whatever words thrown next time you have sex. Or play one of those Sex games you can get online.
  5. Read erotica to each other. Not only will it give you fantasies for days, it will bring you closer and open doors that you didn't even know existed. If you don't want to invest in a book, there are sex blogs out there. Now those are very, very easy to find. Or go to to read other ordinary people's fantasies. You just never know what might spark your inner verbose freak.
  6. Write it out. Sure, saying all the nasty things you want to do to him might make you blush so sometimes it's easier to write it out instead. An email, text message or letter just might do the trick. I write nice, long erotic blog entries on my personal blog and read it to my man over the phone. Just my voice reading something that I wrote is enough to send him hightailing in my direction.
  7. Be creative. Just because some people refer to it as a cock doesn't mean you have to too. Use words that you are comfortable with, even if it's just ones you made up. They can be another language, other nicknames that don't make sense or something personal between you two. Oh, and please don't make it a sissy name like Kate Hudson in How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, for his member. That would be totally cruel. Hehehe.
  8. Have fun. Some people just aren't cut out for freaky deaky nastiness. Don't knock it until you have tried it (with the right person). But if you have tried it and still don't like it, don't sweat it. Some conquer Mt. Everest. Other's swim the English Channel. Just get your gold medal in another arena and keep spicing up that sex life.
Your thoughts?

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Posted by Vixen @ 3:37 AM :: 9 trainees letting it rip!

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