Bad Girl's Guide

Monday, October 24, 2005

The Finesse of Foreplay

Definition: "Refinement and delicacy of performance, execution, or artisanship.
Skillful, subtle handling of a situation; tactful, diplomatic maneuvering." ~ Webster's Dictionary.

Once in a intimate sexual setting, finesse is also more commonly known as foreplay. Finesse is the skillful execution of getting from daters to lovers.

This is sparked by NML's post on Tired of Men. In it she described how she was turned off by a guy that she had been digging up until the point when she realized that he didn't understand the finer points of foreplay.

See guys, foreplay is not a minute fondling our boobs and then a second check to see if we got wet. Just because you get turned on just by a thought doesn't mean that we ladies are wired the same way.

In fact, purely physical actions cannot get me into the mood. My head has to be in it, my heart has to be in it, and all my five senses must be thoroughly stimulated and heightened. It's a process, one that a guy has to fully understand and cater to before he can even progress to the next step.

Foreplay begins even the second we open the door. Flirting, the banter, the slight touches over the dinner table, the sultry stares, kissing, embracing, holding...that is all foreplay. It's a tenuous balance that can easily be shattered by external situations. Think of it as a small spark that must gently be coaxed into a flame, and then a roaring fire. That is how gradual the progression is, with each layer building on the next.

The setting has to be right. If I'm worried that your mom/ex/kid/roommate is going to come barging through the door in a few minutes, chances are, I'm not going to be into it. If I'm thinking that it might be too soon, then it's not happening buster. If I told you a few minutes ago we weren't going shag under any circumstances, the sight of my bed shouldn't turn you into a randy teenager. If the status of our relationship isn't clear to me, or if I have any ill-givings in any way....I'm sorry, it's just not going to happen.

Foreplay is sensual. It's erotic. Without it, I'm not going to get it on.

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Wednesday, October 19, 2005


Definition: This is the particular moment when a certain chapter in your dating history is over. It's the second that you no longer have feelings for your ex and you are ready to move on to 'bigger and better' men.

I feel that there are two types of closure. There is Fake Closure..and True Closure.

Fake closure occurs sometime in between the first month of your breakup. You have to psych yourself out of calling him, yearning for him and thinking about him so you fill your life up with everything and anything that you can. It's purely a mental closure, you physically slamming the doors shut in your mind. However, in the middle of the night, as you lay in your bed, thoughts of him still creep in and you wonder what he's doing and such.

Being a Baaaad Girl, you would never give in to the temptation of breaking down and calling just to hear the sound of his voice, right? Right. You would never stalk him, right? Right. You would never become a Bugaboo, right? Right. The fact that you still have any feelings towards him...anger, hatred, love, jealousy, revenge, passion...signifies that you are still in the fake closure mode.

True Closure cannot be forced. It takes time and with some relationships more than others. It's not an actual act on your part but it does come. One day, you will pass a day without thinking about him, then several days in a row until he's nothing but a foggy memory. The day you realize that you haven't even thought about your ex in weeks...then you have achieved true closure.

Sometimes, we jump into new relationships while we are still in the fake closure mode. This is risky all round because it hurts the person that we are now with...they don't have your full attention and adoration, and shortchanges you out of a great new relationship. We have to be able to recognize when we are fully over Whatshisface and ready to move on.

Your thoughts?

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Monday, October 17, 2005


Come on ladies, a little fun quiz to brighten your day. What kind of sexy are you? It's only 6 questions, so shake a leg and share your results:)

You Are Fun Sexy

You're funny, quirky, cute, and sassy.
Guys always have a great time with you, and that alone is sexy.
You've got an upbeat, optimistic spirit that totally shines through.
Any guy would be crazy to turn you down!

What Kind of Sexy Are You? Take This Quiz :-)


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Product Survey

Can I interest you in some: Designer watches > Debt Consolidation >or Vioxx lawyers?


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Friday, October 14, 2005

True Love

Audrey has a post on her blog that set me thinking. In it, she stated that true love, true unconditional love, as found in our parents and grandparents day, where they met and instantly knew that they were soulmates and have been together from decades and eons has been virtually impossible to find in this day and age.

Of course, being the hopeless romantic that I am, I simply had to disagree with her. I believe despite numerous heartbreaks that there is a Mr. Right4Me. The question is, when am I going to meet him?

In this modernistic society, everything is about instant gratification. Fast food, speed dial, even the internet practically gives you all kinds of info at the press of the button. Could it be that the problem is that we are sick and tired of waiting to meet Mr. Right and just want Mr. Right Now?

You can find your soul mate. It's not a myth, I believe that it really is true. However, don't let trivial stuff get in the way. Some of the guys that we end up cutting out of our lives have just been for totally redundant reasons. We need to stop sweating the small stuff, the superficial, the packaging, and focus on the important issues. Are you attracted to him and he to you? Does he treat you well?

So yes, I do believe in true love and happily ever after. And I'm willing to wait until I meet him and refuse to settle.

BAaaad Girls don't settle for riffraff.

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Wednesday, October 12, 2005


GPS Navigation

The perfect gift for that special someone who has no sense of direction but is too cocky to ask someone where they are or even state that he is lost.

This way, you can actually make it to where you are going on time without offending his tender sensibilities.

Somebody please explain to me why men don't stop to ask for directions???

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Friday, October 07, 2005

Following Up

Definition: Following up is that phone call, or email after the first date, that one member of the party makes to the other. It's the segue into another date if it was pleasant or the red card if it was not.

This is definitely a polite thing to do, as well as humane. You shouldn't keep the other person wondering for more than a day or so. If you really did have a good time, follow up and say so, and if you didn't, let them know that as well. That way, they won't try to follow up with you and get shut down to their everlasting dismay.

My personal preference...a green light gets a phone call, a red light gets an email. But you must follow up, it is very essential.

Also, if you happen to like the guy, and he hasn't followed up with you yet, a gentle reminder might bring you once again to the forefront of his mind. I would only suggest this if he was absolutely drop dead gorgeous, intelligent, funny and witty and you simply must have him. However, it also puts you in the position of the hunter, which might backfire in the end.

There have also been instances where you did let the other person know that you were not interested and they didn't seem to understand. This does not mean, 'try harder, I'm playing hard to get'. It means: I'm not interested in you, as in, I no longer want to have anything to do with you so please stop calling me and emailing me and stalking me and being a bugaboo!

Now that I've gotten that off my chest, I have some follow up to do.

Your thoughts?


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Sunday, October 02, 2005

Love Differences

Who do you think falls in love or women?

Who do you think falls in love deeper?

Who do you think moves on faster, men or women? Why?

Which of the sexes is more prone to the idea 'of being in love just for love's sake'?

In your experience, have you found that men are capable of true, unconditional and lasting love?

All input will be welcomed and appreciated.

PS: Happy birthday to me!


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Saturday, October 01, 2005

Baggage Reclaim

This is a sticky. Scroll down for the Bad Girls Guide...
***It's finally up! Click here***
Woohoo!!!! Baggage Reclaim. Feel free to explore the site and leave comments, and suggestions for improvement. And if you find any dead links, please let us know. Tell 'em I sent ya!


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