Bad Girl's Guide

Monday, July 09, 2007

When He Talks to His Ex, pt. 2

I have been dating my man for 3 years now. Recently while out on a date his ex called questioning him about why he hasn't returned her phone calls...he went into detail of his weekly schedule and was apologizing for being busy. He stated to me he hasn't seen her in 3 years, she's probably depressed because she broke up with her boyfriend. He wouldn't have had this conversation in front of me if something was going on. We have not spoken to each other in 3 days. Need help I love this man and want to marry him.

Okay sweets, here's the breakdown. He can't control how his ex acts---the only thing he has control over is how he is acting with her and around her, whether or not you are present. It sounds to me that even though you were there while conversing with her, he was still trying to maintain his untarnished image of a good guy in her eyes. That's why he apologized. Now going into detail about his life---that is just waaaaaay too much information to be sharing with an ex of over 3 years ago.

Unless they have a child together, I still stand by my view of exes maintaining their separate lives in their separate universes. Co-parenting aside, there should be no reason to hang out and chill with your ex.

I'm sure by now he's realized the error of his ways and is apologizing to YOU, trying to get back into your good graces. Unless this is a holding pattern or something that happens often, my advice is to just let it slide with a slap on the wrist. Something along the lines of, "It bugs me when you share TMI with your _____ (insert appropriate name here) ex." His response would be to ask why, and this is when you can share all your nitty gritty reasons ranging from the purely emotional to the purely instinctual.

Oh---heads up with the ex. She might be depressed and everything but for the fact that she's upset and your man is the first one she calls? Hmmm, sounds like a prime man stealer right there. Follow your instincts, but at the same time, have a level of trust for your man. Good luck!

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Posted by Vixen @ 6:12 PM :: 5 trainees letting it rip!

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