Bad Girl's Guide

Saturday, June 23, 2007

On Spending Time with His Ex

I got a question today that elicited a "Oh Hell Fucking No!" response. What does a Bad Girl do when your boyfriend wants to spend time with his ex-girlfriend?

I'm not from the school of thought that supports fraternizing with an ex. An ex is an ex for a reason---you two broke up. Sure, you can be amicable and grown about it, even acting mature when you do interact socially, but going out of your way to hang out with that person? That just smells plain fishy to me. I know that several people will claim that somehow they make it work, but I think that you can't go backwards once you've had an intimate relationship with someone. One of you will always want more---and one if you is probably still holding out that you'll still get back together (my bet it's that it's the chick.)

Being 'friends' with an ex is one thing...spending time with said ex, that's a whole 'nother game. See when you spend time with someone, you share experiences, and with shared experiences you do get closer. So if the whole premise of you two breaking up was cause you couldn't get along, then why are you still hanging out?

Sista girl, tell your man that him hanging out with his ex in any shape, form or fashion is unacceptable to you. He's going to fire back, "But we are just friends," then you fire back, "Not anymore." It's not something that is negotiable, if he wants to be friends with his ex, then he can't have you in his life. The boundary has to be very clear that you aren't putting up with the bullshit.

For the fact that he's even bringing this up to you should be a red flag. A man that is the right man for you wouldn't have his ex in his life. He wouldn't be talking to her, hanging out with her or fraternizing with her. Period. Don't accept scraps...claim your man 100% YOURS. If he's giving you scraps, then once again, he's not the one.

Good Luck.

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Posted by Vixen @ 11:16 PM :: 7 trainees letting it rip!

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