Sunday, August 19, 2007

On Still Being In Love with the Ex: Meet Lacy

A couple of months ago I ended it with my 2 year beau because he had started having an interest in another woman. I was hurt, angry, miserable, revengeful, all the emotions, but after a couple months I came to terms with it. He did what he did and if I’m not the one for him then so be it. We were best friends, and after everything that had happened I decided I wanted him in my life. Even if he wasn't my boyfriend, not being on good terms felt worse then having a friend that hurt me so badly. Him and the other girl didn’t end up working out, I found an amazing guy who is everything and more that I could ever want in a man, but I'm not happy. I think about my ex, and I don't think I could ever date him again even if he wanted me back because I have so dignity. As much as I love him I don’t like ever feeling like at a point in our relationship there was someone who was better than me. True all things aside, although he started talking to another girl, I was talking to another guy long before and this is the guy who now I'm sort of dating. I don't know what to do, it’s just hard being so positive of love, and then it’s just gone. I don’t understand how to get over that. I don't want to have feelings for my ex, and I don’t understand why I still do or feel attached to the past when I honestly don’t believe I could date him again.

Okay, it sounds like you and your ex weren't a good fit. Not only for the fact that he caught feelings for another woman, but you admitted that even before that you were talking to someone else. So obviously, both of you knew on some level that it wasn't all roses and romance between you two.

Personally I don't think that 2 months is sufficient time to delve into another new relationship and actually have another boyfriend. Sounds like if anything you are rebounding----hard. And New Guy is getting the short end of the stick. You still have feelings for your ex. It's understandable being that you were together for 2 years and have so much of a history but until you get over your ex, you are cheating yourself and the new guy from even opening yourself to the possibilities of true love. That's one of the reasons you aren't happy.

The only thing holding you back from being with your Ex is your pride and dignity. Pride is a good thing in this case, and you should embrace it. Your sixth sense is right---for the fact that he caught feelings for someone else means that he was still looking. And if he's still looking that means that he's not satisfied and abundantly happy with you which means that he's not the guy for you.

Stay away from the Ex. Somehow your dissatisfaction may also stem from the fact that on some level you are comparing the New Guy to your Ex. And you still are in love with your Ex. Which means that you haven't given New Guy the chance to 100% Wow you. Which means you aren't ready for another relationship.

So what to do? I would suggest taking a break from guys for a while, just to sort out your feelings. Until you heal from the betrayal and disillusionment of the breakup, you can't move forward.

For further Reading: Breakups, Guide to Moving On

Good luck.

Labels: Ask Vixen, Break Ups

Posted by Vixen @ 2:41 AM :: 4 trainees letting it rip!

Talk to Me!

---------------oOo---------------