Thursday, July 26, 2007
A Virgin's Guide to Sex for the First Time
I had this question asked discretely to me the other day and I'm putting it here for all my other virgin's out there who are getting it on for the first time. Contrary to what the media & entertainment industry have put out...the first time, usually hurts like hell, and is so strangely weird that it can turn off many of us from jumping headfirst into the bedroom for many months (or years) afterwards.
The longer you are a virgin, the thicker your hymen gets, the thicker your hymen, the greater of a chance it's going to hurt your first time out. I'm not saying go get jiggy right now, but when you do, be prepared for it. If you lead an active lifestyle, are really into sports and riding horses, it might not be that bad, but for the rest 85% of you, it's going to feel like he's ripping you in two. Especially if his cock is larger than a tampon.
Sex is not just a physical thing for us ladies, and you already know that. Also you probably realize that it's a huge deal, and it's a symbiotic amalgamation of your mind, body, spirit and heart. If any of these are out of sync, it's not going to be all fireworks the way you envision and have heard about. The first time I had sex, it was such a huge letdown, more along the lines of, "I can't believe I wasted time fantasizing about this, it's so over rated." I actually thought this for a long time, and I think this is because of my first experience.
Another thing is don't think you are going to be a sex-pert on your very first time. I don't care how many movies & books you've read, until you've done it, you really don't have any experience in the boudoir and shouldn't feel pressured to perform. You're a novice and it's your man's responsibility to make sure that your first time out is something to write home about.
However, most guys are clueless when it comes to popping cherries, they wanna front like they know, but truthfully they have no clue. So here is a short guide to give both you rookies the spin on the game.
- Be Sure: You have to be mentally 100% sure that you want to do this. You have to take the plunge not just for your boo, but because YOU want to do it. If you are feeling like you should do it because he's pressuring you or because everyone is doing it, then you aren't ready. The reasoning should be because you are ready to unleash the wild vixen that is you and discover a whole new plateau of womanhood. The reasons should be about you.
- Pick the Right Guy: From all the women I've talked to, majority of them all agree that if they would have picked a different guy, their first time would have been better. He should be patient, kind, considerate and gentle. And it helps if he doesn't have a huge cock. ;) Oh, and if he loves you genuinely, that's a huge bonus.
- Set It Up: I'm not saying it should be a grand orchestrated event but it should be something sweet and romantic. Music, flowers, candles, bubble bath, lingerie all optional but add a little zing to the affair. The back of his truck won't do, neither will a park bench. It has to be somewhere that you feel safe, not afraid that his moms is going to come barging in the next minute or the cops are going to arrest you. Have protection & birth control covered so you don't have to worry about it. The only thing on your mind should be the intimacy and romance you are about to encounter, so don't let anything detract you from that.
- Mentally Be There: Your mind is a huge factor in this journey. Your mind has the power to make or break the experience. Use the laws of attraction to your benefit and attract the positive energy of the universe all into your pussy. Your body will follow where your mind leads, so it will tense up and prevent him from entering if your mind is screaming 'Hell fuckin' no.' In addition, keep in mind that you still have control and the option to stop whenever you desire. You aren't obligated to do anything besides what you are comfortable with, and shouldn't feel pressure to do more. The ball is really in your court.
- Prep: Try to relax with a massage, bubble bath, champagne and reading erotica to each other. This eliminates the intensity and stress of the moment. Remember, it's all about you!
- Foreplay: You two should be pros at foreplay, but if not, this is the time to engage in it. Try going for at least 30 minutes. He has to make you orgasm at least once BEFORE he penetrates. Orgasming gives you lots of lubrication as well as helping to soften up the pussy and open it up some. It also relaxes you by releasing wonderful hormones into your bloodstream that will make you all happy and shizz.
- Lubricate: Use that lube like it's on sale. For your first time, you can never have too much lube. Put some on both your pussy and his member, especially if he's wearing a condom. You can never have too much lube. Try holding your outer labia lips apart as he's going in, this will also cut down on the friction.
- Penetration: Slow and steady wins the race. The best position for the first time is missionary. Homeboy needs to inch in slowly like he's going through a traffic jam. When he reaches the hymen, he'll be tempted to just plunge through, but you need to have a pact with him to go extra slow, one infinitesimal inch at a time. During foreplay, his fingers should have loosened up your vajayjay enough that he will be able to at least reach the hymen. After that, moving should be at your discretion. The hymen is very elastic, so when he does get more in, he will think it's broken but it still isn't. You should be taking deep breaths and relaxing your pubes. He will feel a slight pop when he's all the way through, and this shouldn't give him jackrabbit rights yet. Oh no...he still needs to go slow, ease all the way out, then all the way back in. Do this repeatedly until you are comfortable with it. Then you can increase the pace if you feel up to it.
- Blood: As Mistress pointed out, you should be expecting blood. Some people bleed more than others, while some it's only a few drops that you won't even notice. You might wanna not use your white bedsheets for this, unless in your culture, y'all wave those white bloodstained sheets around. Go with something that is bleach-able and dark colored. Or get a hotel;)
- Orgasm: Because you are so tight, he's probably going to cum quick, like in the first 10 minutes. Don't just lie under him like a slab of salmon, get into the groove, rub his shoulders, pull his hair, scratch his back etc. Your body should be in a fluid motion, allowing you to savor each part of the experience and at the same time participate fully in it. Remember that only 40% of women are able to orgasm with penetration, so if you don't, you can always try for next time. When he's done, tell him to be a good boy and finish you off as well. In addition, he knows it's his job to get you the ice/cold towel right? Good.
- Cuddle: Every first time needs a lovely session of afterplay to round it off. It's just the ice cream on top of a very delicious cherry pie.
Okay, that's all I can think of right now. Remember, any dumb person can have sex but only a smart women can have safe sex. Like any great skill, it takes practice to get it right and time is on your side. Don't be ashamed or embarrassed about your naivete, be damn proud of it. Ask questions, read up, learn and absorb as much as you can. There is so much knowledge out there about sex---we've been doing it since the dawn of time and even the nymphos
learn a little something something everyday. Be safe, be smart and above all have fun.
Alright sexy nymphs, what did I leave out?
Labels: All About Sex
Posted by Vixen @ 12:21 AM ::
8 trainees letting it rip!
Talk to Me!