Bad Girl's Guide

Monday, April 07, 2008

From Booty Call to Relationship

Here's a letter I got from one my my readers the other day.

Ok, I have been dating this guy for over a year now and our relationship has not progressed to anything serious. When we first started dating I continuously said to him that I didn't want a relationship etc. (Partly because that was how I was feeling at the time and because he was older and of another nationality than me. (I have always loved Africans) but my parents have simply stereotyped them and make jokes which made me pull back from seriously dating him(on what my parents would think).

As time has progressed I have fallen for him and love his sincerity and personality and him. So my question is how do I bring up the conversation of where this is going? Or, have I already burned that opportunity because of my lack of interest during the beginning phases of our friendship. Right now we are just dating - basically we date other people. But we have sex with each other. I don't think we are only friends, probably whatever is slightly above friends we are it. I am 26 and he is 38.

To give you more perspective he used to ask me if I missed him; but I wasn't feeling him at the time so I would hesitate, etc. Now he doesn't say those things anymore. Also, before I said anything I wanted to be sure that I like him for him and not because of the material things he has, but now I am sure that I like him.

Please help,
Miss Forever Confused.

Here's the real deal---at the beginning of the relationship, you set the status quo. He's been your booty call/friends with benefits for a whole year. He got the pussy on lock-down. Perhaps in the beginning, he was really interested in you and was digging for you to be more than just another girl. But you weren't ready for that. He accepted your terms and you eliminated yourself for something serious with your choice. I'm not blaming you for anything, but you can't all of a sudden change the rules of engagement and expect him to fall in line.

Moving to another level is something that is doable, but only if he has feelings for you as well that he's been hiding all year long. Being that he's 38 and African, he is the type of person that knows what he wants. If he wanted you to be his girlfriend or wifey---trust me, you already would be. I think he does like you, but probably not as much as you want him to right now. I don't think you can ever get the respect and admiration that you had in the beginning of the relationship back. On top of that, you've been sleeping with him for close to a year with no commitment. You conducted yourself in a way that showed to him that you wanted to be a notch on his bedpost and not a place in his heart.

I'm sorry to be blunt, but I'm always a great believer in being honest about your desires.

You shouldn't let your family and friends dictate your love life. And if he realized or thought that your reticence had to do with the fact that he's African and your not, well then you definitely beyond a shadow of a doubt cut yourself out the running. I'm African, so the mentality of the great divide is something that I can relate to. Your parents being stereotypical and ignorant are on them---but how you dealt with it, that's on you. You shouldn't have let their ignorance color your mentality of how you see other people and your views on love. You aren't a little girl anymore. If you love Africans, be proud about it. Acting like it's a bad thing or that you were in the wrong for falling in love with an African just gives them the permission to continue acting stupid. Check out the guide to inter-racial dating for future experiences and learn from this one.

Honey, you can graduate from being a booty call to something more, but only if the other party is willing in this arena as well. He might still have those initial feelings, and hopefully he does. But pride is a very big thing and if he felt like you rejected his feelings last year, chances are he dumped them quick. The cards aren't in your favor sweets.

Before you broach the topic however, I would examine how far you want this to go. If you want him just to be your boyfriend, then keep in mind that your family cracking stereotypical jokes and stuff is something that you will have to deal with and get to stop. Your family should not be allowed to disrespect your man. You have to stand up for your man. You have to stand up for yourself and your choices. Also know that you are asking him to put potential drama from your family into his life. So if you don't want to take it all the way, or if you think this might just be a passing crush, I would just let things stay as they are. The closer you two get together, the more burdensome your family will be. (It doesn't sound like they will be able to even picture you married to an African.) So be prepared for the storm.

If you've thought about all this carefully and you still think that your exotic lover is the man for you, then just tell him that you like him pretty much the way you told me. Start with something like "Tunde, I'm really into you and want what we have right now to grow into something deeper. What do you think?"

In the fairy tale, he would tell you that he has much love for you as well and that he wants to be with you in every way possible. He'll tell you that he's had all these tender feelings ever since he laid eyes on you and he was just hoping that your feelings would grow. You two would overcome all the obstacles and live happily ever after.

But life isn't always like the fairytale.

Does anyone have any input to help out Ms. Forever Confused?

Good luck.

Labels: Booty Calls, Dating, Relationship issues

Posted by Vixen @ 4:08 PM :: 4 trainees letting it rip!

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Friday, May 04, 2007

The Overnight Bag

Okay, now that I've returned to the land of the living, we can talk about other things besides icky illnesses and popping pills. Here's a question that came in earlier this week from one of the most inquisitive Bad Girls in Training.

What would you consider as the essentials when staying at your man's place with only a little time to grab whatever is closest? I either end up taking to much or too little, any ideas on something quick and simple that i can just store in my car for last minute plans?

The Overnight Bag is something that I used to have trouble with in the past. I had the exact same problem so I'm totally with you on that score.

I do believe that every gal should have an overnight bag readily accessible. You never know where your sexy heels might lead you. Most of these products can be found in travel packs at Walmart or Walgreens to make your overnight bag even smaller. The essentials for me would be:

Toothbrush: You sooooo do not want to end up using his, can you imagine how gross it would be if any of his exes/other women had used the same brush. Ugh! Trying to hide morning breath without a toothbrush is nigh to impossible unless he's stocked with mouthwash.
Fresh underwear: Because you might not find last night's panties....and why waste the time looking for them when you could be doing so much more interesting activities?
Tampon/pad: Because Aunt Flo chooses the most inopportune moments to intrude.
Condoms/birth control: Because protecting yourself is your own sweet priority.
KY Jelly: Because having your own is more hygienic for the Pussy.
Lotion: I recommend something that smells fresh & sweet but is still a full body moisturizer. Some people like to bring their own shower gel, but I'm not that finicky so it would be up to you.
Washcloth: Because very few guys have them and even less have them clean. So throw one in just to be on the safe side.
Make up remover/what's that other stuff y'all put on your face?: Ummm, I'm blessed with fabulous skin so I really don't pay attention to all the night cream/pimple reducing/facial care stuff. But whatever you usually use to keep your face zit free and fresh, throw it in the bag.
Hair products: Keep this strictly to the basics. A comb/brush, hair wrap, barrette and hair gel/hair cream of your choice. All you are trying to do is make sure your hair is presentable once you emerge from the shower, so slick it into a cute ponytail and you're usually good to go.
Make up: Once again, just the basics. I generally don't do makeup when I'm lounging at home but everyone has their preference. Keep it light and keep it as natural as possible.
Perfume/body spray: Because he likes the fact you smell good. He really really does.
Deodorant/antiperspirant: See above.
Change of clothes: I like to always have a cotton tank top on hand because it can work as a night shirt or a morning shirt and still be hella sexy. Also, try a track suit ala Madonna/JLo style for the next day if you are lounging or just a nice shirt & jeans will do the trick. In addition, I layer my clothes as I'm coming over and wear something new with something old. For instance, I might wear a new flirty top with the same jeans that I wore to come there last night. Throw in a skirt as well if you are dressing it up and some heels if you didn't wear any to come over there. Whatever it is, make sure that it's wrinkle free.
Accessories: I keep the same purse that I came there with. I save my jewelry and try to reuse it if it does with the outfit. If not, I make sure to keep it in the side zip panel of my purse and swap it out with my extra necklace/ring that I keep there. Be sure to leave your precious pieces at home.
Cell phone charger: You might need your phone nice and charged for work the next day.
Magazine/Book: Because you should always have reading material on hand for when he's overly engrossed with his toys/computer/on the phone/work or with his boys. Of course, you could always distract him as a naughty minx would but on occasion, you will need a few minutes over the weekend to regroup & relax. You might as well have something to read while you are at it.
Sexy Optionals: This is where your naughty lingerie, sex toys, games, dice, handcuffs, edible panties fur and lace would fall into. It's really up to you what you throw in here.

That's all I can think of for right now, if anyone else thinks of anything, leave a comment and I"ll add it on. These items will eventually be what gets thrown into your Drawer when you get one at his place so make sure that you have doubles of everything so you don't have to keep shuttling to and fro every other night.

Great question babe, and I"m glad to see that this new boyfriend is working out well. Good luck!

Labels: Booty Calls, Girl Talk, Relationship issues

Posted by Vixen @ 2:15 AM :: 5 trainees letting it rip!

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Wednesday, March 21, 2007

When You Are More Attracted to His Friend: Meet Cassie

Question: I got this question from one of my younger readers this morning. To summarize, last year she met a guy at the bar who was attractive and on the booty prowl. She was on the same tip, so she flirted with him. A little while later, his friend walked into the room and the friend, "was WAY MORE ATTRACTIVE, funny, nice complexion, good teeth, great personality and we seemed to connect more." Even though she was feeling the Friend more, they didn't exchange numbers although one of her not-single friends did have #1's phone number. To cut the long story short, she ended up re-connecting with #1, talking/texting to him several times during the next week.

The next weekend, I called guy # 1 with the hope if I could get him to come out, he would bring "the friend" with him. Of course it worked!!! We all went out the weekend of my birthday and had a really great time...."the friend" and I flirted all night, but didn't exchange numbers.

We started taking on regular and he would always accuse me of using him to get to "the friend". It was true in a way, but the more I started talking to him, the more I liked him. Anyway, after a while, we ended up sleeping together.

Ok, let me be honest...it was a *uck! There was no kissing, not a lot of foreplay, really just boring and neither of us had a chance to get to the finish line. Vixen, while he was in the act of what he believed was blowing my back out, I kept asking him "Are you finished yet?" LOL, I know it was wrong, but if you want to *uck at least be entertaining while you do it.

After that night, we really didn't talk that much. It's like the feelings were mutual. We knew it wouldn't work, kind of an unspoken truce to just leave things alone.

So they stopped speaking and moved on with their separate lives. She even ended up running into both of them months later and acted like she didn't know them. Last week, she was alone and ran into The Friend again, all by his lonesome. They finally exchanged numbers and ended up talking but haven't had a date yet. Last night they had the following conversation via text message.

I asked him, where he was.
Him: "In my bed"
Me: "Damn, so tempting..makes me want to drop what I'm doing."
Him: "I'm going to hold you to that."
Me: "To what, the bed frame?"
Him: "No, to the wall."

It sad how a fine man can easily turn me on. Before I responded to his last txt, I had to think...Could I be the punch line of the joke?(I still haven't replied to his txt) He may know that I slept with guy # 1.

Me spilling my guts on the table to you Vixen is just to ask the following:
Should I ask him if he knows about me and guy # 1?
Should I just tell him? or
Should I just leave him alone?

Answer: This is the part where I jump in. Before I answer your questions sweetie, let's examine all the things that you did wrong. You USED friend #1 to get to the guy you really wanted. You admitted that you weren't really feeling him but had a better vibe with his friend. So instead of ditching #1 and being an honest woman about it, you bunny hopped. He wasn't invested on that first day, neither of them were; so if you had just told him you weren't interested and pursued his friend there would be no hard feelings, no angst and no recriminations. But now there are.

In addition, you slept with him, even though you knew that you weren't all that into him. That's one of the reasons why the sex was bad, your mind was on the other guy, and he probably had the insecurity of that. I'm not giving him excuses, he probably did totally suck in bed, but you had something to do with that. On some elemental level you both recognized that. No wonder things cooled after that.

Now on to your question. Yes. He does know about you and #1. Men talk and I bet you he did tell his friend about you. Depending on the level of their closeness, he also might have gone into the fact that he banged you. He's bound to exaggerate his level of prowess, but he did mention that you are an easy lay. See, he put no significant effort into garnering your attentions, just a text message here, a phone call there and coming to party with you. He knew you weren't that into him---and yet you still slept with him. Which in his mind makes you out to be an easy lay.

You need to ask yourself what do you really want from The Friend. Do you just want to knock boots with him, turn him into your booty call, or do you see some long term potential? I think you see him as possible Boyfriend material, being that you mentioned how much you two connect and that he hasn't asked you out on a date yet. Also, if it was just about sex for you, you would have slept with him already without a second thought.

My gut reaction is to run in the opposite direction. I wouldn't want to have to deal with the tangle of drama, emotions and hurt feelings that will ensue if this blew up or even developed into a further relationship. Can you imagine hanging out with both of them, knowing that you've slept with both and feeling alright about it? Can you see #1 acting cool when you are making out with his friend in his presence? Can you imagine them talking about you when you aren't there? The Friend is never going to ditch #1 for you...guys have a code of ethics too, "it's Bros before Ho's," so at the end of the day, you do have to deal amicably with #1 if you decide to stick around.

My advice---wait it out. As much as you might be into him, you have to find out what his intentions are before your heart gets into the mix. If you just want to fuck him and don't give a damn about what happens after, still wait it out. Your instincts are telling you that you might just be a punchline, as the girl who was all over both of them. He might just be vibing with you now to see if he can get laid. He might be trying to compete with his friend. He might actually have a crush on you but wasn't sure how to proceed knowing that you slept with his friend. If you want him for something more, or even to have a lasting friendship after you knock boots then it's best to lay a good foundation.

Keep talking to him and see where it leads. Have a few dates with him---not hangout dates with a gaggle of friends, but real one-on-one dates. Get to know him more than just superficially. During this process, you will be able to tell which category you fall under for him. If he keeps pressing you for sex & intimacy, then you can sense that that is his primary motivation and act accordingly to your needs. Pay attention to how he acts and what he says. It's not just all fun, flirty games, every guy tells you what kind of man he is in conversation, it's just that us women tend not to listen. LISTEN! Waiting might not be your strong suit, but in this case it will serve you well.

Good luck.

Labels: Ask Vixen, Booty Calls, Girl Talk

Posted by Vixen @ 1:21 PM :: 5 trainees letting it rip!

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Sunday, November 12, 2006

More About Booty Calls

Okay, so my friend and I both have booty calls but we both are sitting in different situations. We need some clarity on the rules. Can you call everyday just to talk? If he stays over is that a booty call? Can you sleep with other people or if you don't then does that mean that you are headed into a relationship? How long can a booty call last?

It sounds like your friend and you both have differing opinions. First of all, have you read THIS and THIS post?

In every situation, there can be a different set of boundaries for booty calls. The first rule of having a booty call is that it's 'no strings attached' sex. Which means, no strings whatsoever in any shape or form. If you are one of those women that her heart follows where her body leads, then this might be a difficult scenario for you.

So knowing that this is the first fundamental rule of having a booty call, why would you call him everyday to chat with him? Why create a friendship outside the boudoir when you are using each other purely for sex? Why are you setting yourself up for heartbreak?

Here's the deal---the more you interact with someone, the greater the sense of attachment that you will have. So, if you talk to him everyday and hang out with him socially, you are forming attachments. Attachments lead to a crush and then you are heading down the "I'm in love with my booty call but he doesn't want me for anything other than sex" zone. And you know where that goes--yep, Heartbreak-ville.

I believe that having him spend the night is another string of attachment. The more time you spend with him, the closer you two will get. That's why it's advisable to keep a booty call strictly about the booty. Get your physical needs taken care of and then bounce.

Sure, it's convenient and comfortable to snuggle up together and fall asleep, but while you are snuggling, remember that your body is equating this bonding with the type of feelings and hormones that you would get from spending the night with your boyfriend. Are you forming an attachment by spending the whole night with him? Yes.

Now sleeping with other people---that's a more grey area. It depends on you and how you want to approach your relationship. I strongly feel that in this day and age, sexual scenarios should be strictly monogamous. Mainly because research has proven that the more people you have sex with, the more STDs you are exposed to. Using the formula that everyone has slept with at least 5 people, if you multiply all your lovers by 5 and then his by 5, and keep multiplying by 5 (for every five each of those people slept with) until you reach a statistical ratio that satisfies the formula--yep, that's how many sexually active people you've come in contact with. And there is no way in hell you can guarantee to me that all of those 5146+ people had protected sex 100% of the time.

However, you should conversely bear in mind that you can't expect fidelity from your booty call. Monogamy, as strongly as I suggest it, is a string. And this over-rules the definition of a booty call. It's really up to both of you what you decide. Being monogamous doesn't mean that you are in a relationship. No matter what you do, make sure that you stay protected AT ALL TIMES! It's 2006 sista girl and there is no excuse for not ensuring that his dick is wrapped up. Stay safe and smart!

As to the length of a booty call, it can last as long as you both can keep it up. Usually, within a few months, one of the parties ends up ending the relationship for sundry reasons. The most common are that one of you found someone else, decides to move on or one of you started getting clingy/needy or the drama was getting to you.

I hope this clarifies a few things for you.
Your thoughts?

Labels: All About Sex, Booty Calls

Posted by Vixen @ 12:19 AM :: 5 trainees letting it rip!

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Monday, July 24, 2006

The Rules of a One Night Stand

I've been reading a blog by a new Singleton who has been trying to have a one night stand for what seems like forever in her eyes. For one reason or another, the guys (5 at the last count) have all eliminated themselves from the running. This isn't because of any lack on her part, she's sexy, confident, intelligent and has her own place, but it's because the guys---have been caught slacking off in one way or another. What's up? I thought guys wanted to get picked up?

Don't take this the wrong way guys---but honestly, there are women out there who aren't all for a relationship. We aren't looking for you to instantly become a boyfriend. We just want a good shag session. Why is that so hard to find???

Well, here's a little rant dedicated to SBCD in the hopes that she (and all the other ladies out there like her, do find what they are looking for).

One Night Stand Rules

For starters, consider yourself lucky that I've settled on hanging with you for the night. Don't think that it was a spontaneous decision based on your witty conversation or merits you laid out. No honey, it was based purely on my intuition and on my attraction to you. If the three parts of me all decide that you are worthy (my brain, my body and my vagina), then you will get a yellow light. However, if one of them objects, chances are it ain't happening. Reasons for objections are varied but include; bad body odor, cheesy willies, dirty drawers, your cell phone blowing up 24/7, you falling asleep or passing out, lack of sexual expertise, drowning me in saliva, being unable to find the clitoris even with a map & compass etc.
If you can't back up the talk shut the fuck up! Don't talk to me all night about how you are going to do me all night long, how sexy I am and at the last second remember you have a girlfriend, wife, ex or some other reason why we can't do it. Yes---guys do lead women on as well, and it would be better if you told me from the onset and stopped wasting my time.
Once you've let it slip that you have another woman in the picture, don't get mad at me if I decide to forgo the encounter. Being your little plaything to cheat with your wife/woman or get back at your ex is just me playing with fire. I don't need that kind of bad karma and unlimited drama, dating's hard enough as it is.
If during the evaluation phase you notice me yawning, me fidgeting, glancing at the clock or my eyes glazing over, chances are I'm bored with you and have decided not to go through with it. Don't take offense when I tell you that I have an early day tomorrow and want you to leave. Seen in the bright light of the parking lot, perhaps one of the Triad changed their minds about having you over and decided to boot you off the island.
Chances are, you might think that acing the evaluation phase gets you in. Remember, you are just a one night stand, not some grand ole' boyfriend. Please don't get too comfortable and start gushing and talking. Especially talking too damn much! You were brought here for the sole purpose of fucking~~~all you have to do is uphold that side of the bargain and it's all gravy baby.
When it comes to the question of protection, if you balk at putting on a condom then please, just get to stepping. In this day and age I have neither the time nor inclination to have you cajole me into getting laid without wrapping it up. I have a wide array of different ones in all shapes, flavors and sizes, so be like a kid in a candy store, pick your favorite and lets get some action already. It's really that simple.
If I happen to pick you up in a bar for a quick fling and bring you back to my pad (which rarely happens)---don't you even dare think that you are spending the night. As soon as you are recuperated enough from our rousing bedplay, I expect you to gather all your belongings and leave. I've had guys leaving their wallet or cell phone as a way to be able to come back. Oh hell no! I'll mail it to you, thank you very much! And please, for the love of all things good----don't come back uninvited. Or I might have to break out my stun gun on you.
Cut the sentimental bullshit already! No, I don't want a rose the next morning with a note, right out of Pretty Woman. I don't need the cards, chocolates or fancy breakfast. Just a quick text message or 30 second phone call is good enough to end the encounter.
If you were good, you will be placed on my Booty List. Which means that when I'm in the mood, I will call you for a booty call. If you don't hear from me, it means that you sucked and I don't want to sleep with you ever again. Please don't become a bugaboo or stalker. That will only get you X-ed off the list.
Should we run into each other again on another night out: Please fight the urge to turn into a nasty ass blabbing to your mates about our encounter; Don't presume you'll get lucky again but be cordial.
You aren't the Booty King. Don't think you're the only one on the booty list so get those "I'm the best she's ever had" thoughts out of your head, you are easily replaced, babe.
Lastly, keep your mouth shut. I don't want to be hit on by your friends the next time I'm out. You've made it to the Booty List, don't throw that away. It's an exclusive list. I'd hate to kick you to the curb because you couldn't stop flapping your gums to your boys about how you "tapped that ass."

Love the new additions:)
Anything else to add ladies?

Labels: Booty Calls

Posted by Vixen @ 1:40 AM :: 7 trainees letting it rip!

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Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Booty Call Extras

Definition: A booty call extra is your run of the mill booty call, but who also happens to bring more into the equation than just sex.

Even though it's hard to believe, there are some FWB/FWF relationships that aren't just built around sex. I received a question about this a few weeks ago finally got around to it:)

"I have a booty call that we spend alot of time together as well. We do more than just 'screw around like jackrabbits'. We have fun, spend time together, go out and hang out with other friends. I would like your readers to know that there are other types of relationships besides the ones that you point out."

There are booty call relationships that constitute of a whole lot more besides sex. These are friends/lovers who actually go out to the movies, go barhopping, attend sports events or just chill whether or not they are having sex at the moment. It's almost like a bonafide relationship without all the strings that having a standard boyfriend/girlfriend situation would entail.

After all, you spend time together so you don't have to stay home alone on Saturday night. Neither of you have to worry about dating unless you want to, and you have a person of the opposite sex to laugh at your awful dates. This relationship leaves little room for jealousy because he can always say, "I thought we were just FWBs?" Neither of you have to contend with cheating or anything of that sort; it's no strings attached fun, what could be wrong there?

It is possible to maintain the casual aspect, chemistry and friendship without getting too close. It's possible--but not easy, and definitely full of major pitfalls. For starters, it's a classic set-up for unrequited love. Someone (most probably the lady) starts to catch feelings for the other (the guy) and wants something more concrete. But you know that he's going to avoid a bonafide relationship at all costs. Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? So guess who ends up with a broken heart? Yes honey...you do.

Now, if you feel that you are able to finagle the tumultuous waters of this type of relationship, then by all means, have at it. Just don't say you haven't been warned.

Further Reading: Booty Calls, Recycling, To Be Booty or Not?

Your thoughts?

Labels: Booty Calls

Posted by Vixen @ 5:44 AM :: 7 trainees letting it rip!

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Tuesday, January 03, 2006

To Be Booty or Not to Be Booty...

This is one of the questions I got from one of the readers who took the survey. What do you do when you realize that he just wants you for sex?

First of all, you have got to ask yourself what you wanted/expected out of him. If he is nothing more to you than a booty call, and if you just wanted him for sex in the first place, then the relationship might be equitable. ~~I say might because chances are he might not even satisfy you properly and you have to trade him in for another one.~~

It's a more crushing blow when you had higher expectations of the guy. If you had him in your mind as your next possible boyfriend, and then after he shags you he ups and dissappears, chances are this will annoy/perturb you. However, you have to realize that not everyone you think fits with you is actually the man for you. There can be a bunch of people that you are compatible with but only a significant few are truly capable of being your significant other. Chalk it up as his loss and move on.

You might think this is easier said than done, but you have to make it a priority to seek your needs first. Do not try and shape yourself into the mold of what he wants his perfect woman to be, if he wants a sex buddy, and you want something more, recognize this and don't settle for less. Don't put his needs ahead of yours. This works both ways. If you wanted from him nothing more than a booty call, and he wants more, let him know what your expectations are and don't acquiesce for his desires unless that is what you really want.

Just be yourself, focus on what you want from the relationship and if he's not the one for you, you have to get over it and wade back into the dating pool.

That's the beauty of dating...there are so many other fish in the sea.

Labels: Booty Calls

Posted by Vixen @ 2:46 AM :: 5 trainees letting it rip!

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Friday, August 05, 2005

Booty Calls

Definition: Cmon...do I really have to define this one??? A booty call is that phone call you get between 10pm and dawn from a guy that just wants to knock boots with you. No strings, no commitments, just freaky sex.

Baaad Girls aren't booty calls. See, we don't sit by the phone waiting for that guy to call us asking for some sex, Baaad girls pick up the phone and initiate the booty call. We know when we want it, from whom and how. Plus, we love to be the one in control.

The only drawback from a booty call is that iffy moment a few weeks into the quest of the perfect lay. Women have big hearts and sooner or later, our big hearts get in the way and we begin to have feelings for this ~~guy~~ tool. And this is where the trouble begins...

You see, once you have put yourself on the level of casual sex kitten, it's hard to work your way up to something more. If you want something more, you are going to have to fight for it tooth and nail. He probably won't want the change of status...after all, why buy the cow if you can get the milk for free? Besides, alot of guys are worthy enough to be your stud, but definitely not good enough to be your man. It takes more than skills in the bedroom to capture a Baaad Girl.

If you are going to have a booty call, make sure you separate your heart as much and as soon as possible. For some reason, men are able to do this with alarming regularity. However for us, when sex enters the picture, we start having "feelings and emotions". This sticky situation is just hard and we need to stop setting ourselves up for heartbreak.

I once had a perfect booty call. Just a casual friend who wanted no commitments with just plain ol' freaky sex and nothing more. Wednesday nights...11pm. It worked for me...for about 3 months (which is longer than most). The day he had some chick over at 11pm on a Wednesday night was the last day I used his services. I don't like women on MY turf, in my time zone. I don't share my ~~dick~~ toys.

Now even though you may have a regular booty call, you still need to protect yourself. At ALL times. Triple protection is better than one. My personal fav, the patch, the condom and spermicide jelly. One can never be too careful, especially with all the creepy crawlies around, the untrustworthy men and the crazy ass heifers that feel everything with a dick belongs to them.

I have an honesty policy with all my booty calls. I know it's being picky but I prefer monogamous sex. If he can't be monogamous, then he can't be my dick. Plain and simple.

And realize that you cannot use a Recycled Man for your booty call. This is just full of so many pitfalls, you two have history, drama, feelings on all sides. Unless you have a hankering for more drama in your life, I wouldn't advise messing with a recycled man.

Also, let's not be the crazy ass heifer that knowingly steals some other woman's ~~man~~ dick. There are more than enough men to go around....MORE THAN ENOUGH. After all, a booty call doesn't have to be an ideal man, he just has to know how to satisfy a woman...PROPERLY.

Labels: Booty Calls

Posted by Vixen @ 12:36 AM :: 12 trainees letting it rip!

Talk to Me!

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