Saturday, November 17, 2007

When He's on the Down Low

Question: I've been seeing this guy for almost a year now and this morning I woke up early and was being a snoop and checked his email( he gave me his password in the past to check some stuff for him) I know it wasn't right but something just told me to check his email what I found was something I never in a million years would think I'd find! His outbox showed messages to someone named Wanda...

hi i seen your pics on ( some website) and I liked your pics.

Oh man I was pissed hell I was beyond pissed. The next one read:

I just want to let you know I've never been with a man before...

WTF????? Ok now I'm crying my eyes out and confused as hell it's not clicking in my head yet.
3rd email ...

no I don't cross-dress BUT I do like to wear womens panties.

OK I lost it there I wanted to scream to the top of my lungs but my daughters were still sleeping and my son was watching tv in my room. Even in hind sight I don't see any signs that he was attracted to men! I don't know what the hell to do. How do I say something to him about it? Do I say anything? I can't be with him anymore and that sucks b/c he's the best sex I've ever had. I am pissed and confused and angry and sad and I don't even know what else I am. So any advice is much needed. Thanks for taking the time to read this.

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Hot damn, I don't even know where to start with this one. For starters, snooping is a double edged sword; you invade the privacy of your partner, show your insecurities and at the same time point out that you don't trust them. However, what's done is done and you can't take that back (although I'm sure you wish you hadn't snooped).

Sounds to me like your guy is on the down-low. It also sounds like he's still in the curious, explorative stage, so he might not be getting action from the other side of the fence yet. Oh--and Wanda sounds like a tranny. There is no evidence to suggest that he's actually cheated on you with a guy, however it could be argued that there is an intent. So what do you do?

Exactly what you don't want to do. You have to bring it up and talk to him about it. Your mind and sixth sense was screaming that there is something wrong with that picture. For me, no man, no matter how good he is in bed, is worth the drama, emotional pain and hurt that him double dipping is going to cost you. Especially if he's really adamant about this new sexual preference.

When you do talk to him, pay attention to the signs that he might be 'telling you just want you want to hear' to manipulate you in order to sweep it under the wrong. If he's already crossed the boundary in his mind to desiring men, and that is not something you are comfortable with, take your kids and get the hell out of Dodge. Let him explore his fantasies and lingerie without putting the innocent children in the thick of it.

A cross dresser that wants to sleep with men? Oh hell fuckin' no!

Count your lucky stars that you found out sooner rather than later, when you are years down the road wondering how you got some funky STD or he up and disappears on you leaving you wondering why he left. At least this way you know exactly what you're dealing with, and with knowledge comes power.

Good luck.

Labels: Ask Vixen, Cheating

Posted by Vixen @ 3:31 AM :: 5 trainees letting it rip!

Talk to Me!

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