Sunday, November 11, 2007

Is Baby Mama Drama Worth It?

I got a question today from a young lady contemplating delving further into a committed relationship with a man that has the baby mama from hell. I know Mistress and a few other Bad Girls are on the side of the fence that no man is worth baby mama drama, turmoil and emotional roller coaster that dealing with a kid from his ex gives...but let me stand on the other side of the fence for a moment.

Personally...I don't do kids. I've never been one to run and coddle any woman with a baby, I don't go googoo gaga over children, I don't remark that your brat is cute, I honestly don't care. I don't think I have a maternal bone in my body. I'm not saying I'm a child hater...I just don't do kids. I've had to interact with kids more times in my life than I'd like to count, from working in a daycare to being a school nurse. So I've been able to grin and bear it if I had to, but I still ultimately, don't do kids.

Then we go back in time to when Norio told me about the Kid. I was surprised that he was a dad, and skeptical when he claimed his son was so great. (Don't all parents say that?) I didn't meet the Kid until about 7 or 8 months into the relationship, and when I did, the little boy stole my heart. He's not like a kid, he's like an adult in a small person's body. I loved watching him laugh, smile and play, and even his 293 questions in a row didn't drive me up a wall.

Did that turn me into a child lover? Hell no. But knowing him made me fall in love with him as a person, as this wonderfully inquisitive and intelligent bundle of energy, wide eyed and wanting to learn everything about the world. The whole innocence and guilelessness,...man, I adore that. I sometimes wish adults were more like children, but no, we grow up and learn how to stab each other in the back.

But, I digress.

Is baby mama drama worth it? It depends, usually only if the guy is worth it. This should really be your question. Does he exceed all the expectations you have for a connection with someone? Do you feel like you are one of the most important people in his life? Are you in a loving and respectful relationship? Does the drama over weigh the relationship and the good times? If so, then hang on, it's going to be rocky ride but totally worth it. It really is up to the guy, his attributes have to outweigh the baby mama and all her drama.

If he's not treating you well, prioritizing your needs and loving you as you deserve to be loved, then it's not worth it. Cut your losses soon and scrap dating sperminators off your list.

Good luck.

Labels: Ask Vixen, Baby Mama Drama

Posted by Vixen @ 4:09 AM :: 3 trainees letting it rip!

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