Thursday, August 23, 2007

When He Doesn't Make a Move: Meet Katya

I have been seeing a guy casually for a couple of months now, but we only see each other about twice a month. This has been going on since about June. Initially, I wasn't very into the guy, but now I am completely digging him. When we go out he seems like he wants to be with me and always ends up suggesting something to extend our time together. Here's the kicker: He has never once in about 6-7 times going out attempted to kiss me or even hug me. I initiated our last hug and last brief kiss on the lips. That confuses me. I jokingly asked if he was gay, not to say I'm so hot that a man has to attracted to me or be gay, but gesh why keep asking me out to hang out as buddies?! He said no, but still we've been out twice since and more recently he just put his arm around my shoulder. That's it! So here's my question. Should I just ask him why he hasn't made any move on me, or just go for it or what ? I'm really starting to like him and I don't want to put myself out there if the feeling isn't the same. Maybe he's just not that into me...

Okay, I don't want to laugh at this, but it's kinda funny. 7 dates and you haven't even kissed yet? Oh hells no! I know our generation tends to move really fast nowadays but I'm from the school of thought that you should have made out at least by the 6th date. I can sense your frustration and I know if it was me he'd be thrown back to the dating pond already. Although, him holding back has increased his mystique and interest in your eyes...so maybe that was his angle all along. For the sake of playing the other side, I'm going to throw out a few random lines of thought as to why homeboy hasn't made a solid move yet besides the glaringly obvious 'he's gay' or 'he's not into you' ideas you've thought about.

1. He might be shy. Perhaps he's gotten rebuffed alot, rejected and scorned. Maybe he was a nerd in high school and you're so hot and 'out of his league' that he doesn't know how to treat you. Playfully tell him, "I don't bite---unless you want me to. So kiss me!"
2. He's insecure---with kissing! Once again, maybe he doesn't get around that much. So he is really nervous. If you are that into him, whip out the manual and show him the basics. Tell him you read this great article about how people tend to kiss the way they like to be kissed and you want to test it out if it's true...
3. He's a virgin. He doesn't want to get physical quickly because he is trying to maintain a certain boundary. Ask him when was the last time he had sex.
   
4. He thinks you are so hot. If he thinks you're a 10 and he's a 3, chances are he's just so happy to be with you and is so giddy in your presence and he doesn't want to mess things up. It's taking all his concentration just to keep being 'interesting' in your eyes. Flatter his ego. Tell him why you are into him, that you are attracted to his gorgeous eyes, his hearty laugh and brilliant mind. "You're the sweetest guy I've ever met!"
   

Okay, I really don't know why else he hasn't at least made a move yet. Perhaps you should just ask him up front, and put him on the spot. Does anyone else have any tips??

Labels: Ask Vixen, Dating

Posted by Vixen @ 4:14 AM :: 8 trainees letting it rip!

Talk to Me!

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