Saturday, July 14, 2007

How Do You Know If You're a Couple?

Is there a halo of light surrounding you signaling to the world that you are a couple? Does it occur with the first kiss…or the first shag? If your man never really has articulated it, how do you know that you are a couple?

• Are you dating/sleeping with anyone else?: You do know not to totally stop dating once you meet a guy that you think is the right one for you right? We all do it, still date other people, until we are sure that this is the person you wish to be committed to.
• Is he dating/sleeping with anyone else? It’s been my experience that men generally lead the way in this regard. He usually stops dating/sleeping with other people weeks before he even articulates it to me. By the time he does tell you, recognize that he is stating that he is interested in you…and only you.
• Has he referred to you as ‘my girl’? When you get introduced to people, if he isn’t ready for couplehood he will keep this boundary. He will introduce you as Vixen, the lady he is dating/seeing versus My Girl. Once he says my girl, my boo, my honey…MY anything, then take this as another flag towards couple-dom.
• Does he help you with other things like defragging your hard drive, getting your car fixed etc? Guys tend to express their emotions in other ways too, that might not be seen by the casual observer as a romantic expression. If he offers to help you do stuff on a regular basis, he is investing his time and energy into you. Take that as a plus.
• Has he significantly inconvenienced himself in some way to see to your comfort? For example, dropping you off at the airport at 5am on a weekday morning, staying up late to wake you up for work/class on time. This is another big sign. If you were just a casual fling, he wouldn’t go out of his way in any direction. Inconveniencing himself puts him further out there. How many signs do you need woman?
• Have you met his friends? As addressed in When You Should Meet His Friends, you have to recognize this for the landmark that it is. He would only bring you to meet his friends if he was serious about you. Sharing what is important to him is a declaration of intent.
• Has he met your friends? You know for us chicks, this is a bigger question. Has he met your friends…and do they like him?
• Has he spent more than three nights over your place or you at his? Are these sleepovers getting more and more frequent?
• Have you talked to any of his relatives? Even if it’s just on the phone or via email, once again this should be considered a milepost. Think about how much your family harasses you that you are single…chances are his family does the same. So by bringing you/talking about you/introducing you to his relatives aka his Mom, he is setting himself up for years of holidays hearing, “Whatever happened to that good girl Vixen you brought home? She was such a nice thing! You let another great gal slip away!”

If most of these are yes, then chances are you have already become a couple. When you morph from that sexy single into the Conjoined Twosome, it isn’t a sudden process. It’s a gradual transformation where you begin consistently putting each other first, where you start running plans by each other, and where you spend a lot of free time together. Eventually, your lives become enmeshed and you have become a true duo.

Labels: Relationship issues

Posted by Vixen @ 7:09 PM :: 3 trainees letting it rip!

Talk to Me!

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