Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Why Get Married, part 3

I must ask though, how did you know that this is what you want to do with your life? Maybe I'm a little young but I've been wondering about the whole marriage concept, why do people do it and why do most people (not just women) have this general desire to be married? I have talked to a few people about it and the general answer is because they don't want to be lonely, but when did we/society become so dependant on the companionship of someone else?

Hey babe, did you read this and this post from last year? We discussed the whole getting married thing from both sides of the aisle and alot of solid points were raised that you might find interesting.

I think it's our human frailty and biological makeup to search for companionship. We want to believe that in this world of pain, grief, chaos and wars, there is one person that totally 'gets' us and will stand by us through thick and thin. As idealistic as it sounds, many of us were raised believing that the marital state is the end all and be all of every relationship. Most religious faiths are based on the unity of family, and growing up we saw examples of marital bliss. Our peers, families, media and society all send us the message that once we reach a certain stage in our life, we should settle down in marriage.

The tide has turned in the last decade however, with many prominent couples choosing to stay together and not get married, ex. Oprah & Steadman, Goldie & Kurt, Angie & Brad etc; in addition to the multitudes of couples who led the way.

Not only that, but recent polling proves that 51% of American women are happily single, fabulous and loving it. Part of this equation is the successful and fantastic 70% of African-American women who claim that they don't 'need a man' to complete them and are living independent lives with or without men.

Our generation has proved that we can be all and do everything we set our mind on as women, even surpassing previous records set by the guys themselves. We excel in the work place, in outer space, in the kitchen as well as the bedroom, and manage to multi-task and juggle a full life complete with responsibilities, children and bills. There are millions of single mothers out there who are proving that raising good children is attainable without a male figure.

However, every single one of these women will agree that nothing beats having the warm embrace of your man to settle into after a long, hard day. There is a biological connection between men and women, and as much as we fight it, at the end of the day it magnetically calls us like a siren to a sailor.

Mother Nature wants the Earth fully populated. And she is going to do whatever it takes to get you there, including filling us up with hormones & pheromones, making us both equally attracted to each other no matter how hard we fight it. Companionship is universally sought by all, it's an instinctual thing that has been prevalent since the dawn of time. It's always been there sweetie, as humans we crave that closeness and understanding...perhaps you just haven't noticed it.

Personally, I was raised believing in the sanctity of marriage, yet scoffed at the idea of getting married before I had done everything on my 30 things to do before I'm 30 list. In addition to that, I never thought I would find the right guy for me, so I decided to live life without the bonds of matrimony as happily and fantastically as I could.

However, as cheesy as it might sound, meeting the Boyfriend, the Fiance, getting to know him, realising our true connection and the depths of our love against all odds just further opened my eyes to the fact that it was a viable possibility within my grasp. If you had asked me 2 years ago, I probably would have been like you, more on the declaration of independence tip, than on the realisation that living single was great, but couple-hood is so much better. Getting married is just the icing on top of an already delicious red velvet cake.

To the happily single, what do you think of this? Do you plan to be married? Do you see yourself married eventually?

To the happily married, what made you decide to commit to this one person till death do you part? What makes you stay with them year after year? What makes marriage so frickin' great?

To the happily divorced, did you think your ex was the One when you married him? What are your thoughts about marriage? Do you think that you'll ever get married again? Knowing what you know now, if you could do it all over, would you have gotten married in the first place?

Further Reading:
Why Get Married?
Why Get Married, part 2

Labels: Marriage, Relationship issues

Posted by Vixen @ 2:00 AM :: 7 trainees letting it rip!

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