Thursday, March 29, 2007

When You Are Jealous of His New Girlfriend: Meet Natasha

On the infamous Myspace an ex-boyfriend found me. Outside of our relationship thereafter we have always been good friends until I lost his new phone number accidentally. Anyways I'm looking at his pictures, many of which with his new girlfriend, and they look so happy and I'm real jealous. Now I'm in a relationship and have been for the last 3 years. In reference to my ex-boyfriend I never remember him looking that good. I'm more attracted to him now than I've ever been when I was with him.

If you were wondering the reason we broke up is because we got to a point where he couldn't keep up with me. I knew more than him in every aspect of my life, his life and society as a whole. He acknowledged that and since I was not in the mood to teach or wait for him to catch on/up, so in order to experience life in the fashion I wanted to so we parted ways.

Look Nat, it seems to me like you are suffering from the "One that Got Away" syndrome. You have to examine your reasons for this so called attraction. Your ex is looking better to you and more attractive, mainly because he's no longer with you and seems quite happier with someone else. The jealousy comes from there as you've correctly identified.

It sucks when you see someone you had deep feelings for head over heels in love with someone else. Mainly because as insecure beings, we place our self-worth on the validation that we hold a special place in someone else's life. When you feel like you've been replaced and forgotten, it is a blow to your self esteem.

Snap out of it sister! He isn't with you for a reason. The reason you broke up with him is still there even more than three years after the fact. You might think that he's more 'mature' now and more on your level, but you two weren't compatible then, and won't be compatible now. He's found happiness and compatibility with someone else, a girl that understands his thinking and is on the same path as he is. The right thing to do is wish him well and claim your happiness.

You have a committed, long-term relationship with your boyfriend, who for some reason you don't sound as happy to be with. You didn't gush to him at all about your current beau, and just talked about this Ex and how attractive he is. Which sounds an alarm to me that there is some issues there. Harboring feelings of an ex has the ability to stifle your current/new relationship. The fact that you are even jealous signals that you still have some strong feelings towards your ex. Not good. You have got to let this ex go...in every way possible. Being friends with him is not helping you move forward. Besides, you are just providing the temptation of a future liaison at a later date. Enough with the open-endedness. Let. Him. Go.

I would also advise spending less time on Myspace and more quality time with your boyfriend in real life. You sound like you are an adventurous person that wants to live la vida loca, so do so. Remember, if a book where written about you today, what would you want it to say? That you are still in love with your ex after 3+ years; that you wish to sabotage his new relationship breaking multiple hearts in the process; that he's more attractive now so you slept with him and betrayed your boyfriend's trust? Or would you want it to say that you are a wonderful, beautiful woman--both inside and out; who knows what she wants out of life and lives every moment to the fullest, spreading love and happiness wherever she goes?

Anyway, that's all I have to say about that. Good luck and please, make the right choice.

Labels: Ask Vixen, Break Ups, Girl Talk, Relationship issues

Posted by Vixen @ 12:32 AM :: 2 trainees letting it rip!

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