Saturday, April 07, 2007

When She's Being a Bitch

Mercy! I go away for a day and get slammed with all these questions. I'm not going to re-post the entire question here because it's too long, so head over to yesterday's post and read the comments section. Basically, an Anonymous guy wanted to know if 'being yourself' gives you a license for wrongful behavior, and if you aren't a nice person, shouldn't you see that as a flaw and try to work on it?

It is quite catastrophic when a woman pretends to be something she's not. Especially when she's hiding her true self, be it ugly, nasty, moody and bitchy; you should show this to your man so he knows what he's in for. Contrary to popular opinion, you don't lose someone by being honest with them, they actually get more respect for you no matter what skeletons you end up revealing.

Unless her moodiness is caused by the onset of a medical condition, mental illness or external factors like grief and mourning, there is no excuse for her constantly being 'moody'. We can't even attribute this to her star sign. She has issues. Deep, deep issues.

I'm a great believer in not changing for anyone, however when you are making a positive change then I'm all for it. Being constantly moody isn't a good thing, so asking her to work on it for the sake of your relationship isn't asking for too much. Having negative energy around you doesn't help you feel good about life, so I can understand taking a break when she gets particularly nasty.

It seems to me that there might be alot of stuff going on in her life that she's doesn't have control over hence the downward spiral of her emotions. Remind her that only she can make herself happy. As much as you have feelings for her, the moodiness does affect you and puts a negative slant on your relationship.

Explain to her that you deeply care her and enjoy her company, but you are really upset and affected by her constant complaining, nagging and moodiness. This is why to protect yourself you try to stay away, but obviously she doesn't appreciate this. Let her know that you don't want to be a doormat for her to walk all over whenever she's upset. Be sure to tell her that you are there for her, and want to talk to her about whatever her problems are and that you would like to help her. "But I can't help you if you don't tell me what's wrong." Explain that you can deal with some of the mood swings, but your thresh hold is rapidly approaching overflow. Tell her pretty much what you just told us.

Be firm, emphatic and direct. Sometimes when we are being extremely moody us girls do want a man to balls up and tell us how it is. Try to broach this discussion while she's in a good mood, if that ever happens! You might have to bribe the good mood forward with a pint of her favorite ice cream or chocolate.

At the end of the day you have to evaluate if the relationship is worth all the drama, mood swings and bitchiness you have to put up with. Is she worth it? It looks like she's getting lax and not even putting much of an effort into the relationship anymore. Perhaps a wake up call like this talk will be just what she needs.

Labels: Ask Vixen

Posted by Vixen @ 12:15 AM :: 2 trainees letting it rip!

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