Bad Girl's Guide

Monday, August 21, 2006

Why Get Married, pt 2

Wow, there were ALOT of responses on the last post "Why Get Married?". If you haven't yet go ahead and read the comments on there. I didn't realise until I read most of your comments that alot of women in our day & age actually feel the same way I do. I agree, marriage does not automatically increase your level of commitment, especially in the disposable society we live in today. The saying, "Marry in haste, repent in leisure," is apt and does apply to alot of those shotgun weddings.

We've all heard stories of couples that have been together for several years, and then as soon as they tie the knot they end up breaking up. Or couples that marry within a few weeks/months of knowing each other and then...surprise, they are kaput a few short months/years later. Sure, the bad stories get the most airtime but isn't this a scenario that we all have heard about?

If the foundation of a solid relationship is not there, the relationship will not work out irregardless of your marital status. Marriage doesn't add the "holy blessing" to a sucky relationship to hold it together. Without a good foundation, it will just crumble like a stack of cards. In addition, every marriage, like every relationship has it's ups and downs. It's the strength of your bond that will eventually tide you through those rough times that illness, pain, betrayal, layoffs, midlife crises, death in the family, children and fate might bring.

Bear in mind there's also the whole thing of people changing with time. If you don't really know yourself, or are still in a "growing/finding yourself" stage, then it would seem ludicrous to promise forever when you know that you aren't guaranteed to remain the same forever.

At the same time, I do value the institution of marriage, as traditional as it may be. Even though marriage has gotten a bad rap in the last few decades (especially in Hollywood), I know that there is alot of credence to the values that the institution of marriage was built on. If and when I do decide to tie the knot, I want to be married decades down the in the whole until death do us Teri's parents and mine.

However, is it the whole finality of marriage that causes many of our generation to freak out about it? The fact that you are pretty much stuck with this guy and his stinky feet for the rest of your natural life barring divorce that causes us to shy away from it? Is it because our generation is Commitment-Phobic by nature and the whole 'forever' bit seems so...damn long?

Are we scared of tying the knot because in our heart of hearts, we want that Out clause a long term committed relationship comes with even though we might never use it?

I'd love to hear your thoughts on this one. Lots of question marks here!

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Posted by Vixen @ 6:26 PM :: 8 trainees letting it rip!

Talk to Me!