Bad Girl's Guide

Monday, February 05, 2007

How Shy Girls Spice it Up...

Question: I've been in a relationship for about a year and a half, my boyfriend and I get along great and have an amazing connection, he's a sweetheart. Our sex life was never bad but recently it hit me in the face that we pretty much do the some thing in the same place all the time and I really wanted to spice it up a bit. My boyfriend is happy with whatever action and tries to attempt new things, but its me that's being more reserved. I love the idea of sex but I'm not sure how to come out of my shell and let loose, any advice? I want to surprise him, I bought a very scandalous red corset/lingerie piece for our after Valentine's day fun, I want that night to be perfect, romantic, and extreeeeeeemly passionate ;) and not in the making love type sex. I just really don't know how to go wild, I mean I'm comfortable with my body but when it comes to talking dirty or anything non conventional I'm a bit shy and I hate it. Any advice?

Did you read this post on Talking Dirty yet?

Well kudos to you for deciding to spice it up. For starters, you have to dissociate unconventional sex with negative emotions. There is nothing wrong with letting it loose and going crazy in the bedroom, in fact, that's where you are supposed to go crazy!! Why do you think you are having a block when it comes to letting it get freaky? Do you have something in your past--a previous rejection, your upbringing or a personal history that makes you think that it's weird? Perhaps you should think about it and find the source---it might not just be shyness. That way you can identify it, deal with it and move on.

Remember, your guy adores you. He's been with you for over a year (which is eons in a man's world) and you two have an amazing connection. He's also very attracted to you and treats you like a gem. There is nothing you could do in the bedroom that will scare him away. Most men are freakier than us girls, so know that he's just waiting for you to open that door.

Pretty much, you want him to fuck your brains out and not make love to you? Honey, steel yourself, because as much as the red lingerie will get his engines running, he's still going to need a firm push to get him in the direction you want him to go. Especially since all you guys have been doing is the conventional stuff.

During this session, you will tell him what you want and how you want it. Emphatically. Leave the murmured avowals of love at the door and just voraciously attack him with a single-minded purpose. Fucking begins in the mind, so make sure you mind is right before you start. Read some erotica, watch some porn, get yourself wet...whatever it takes to get you in the mindset to take charge. Pick a room that isn't the bedroom or somewhere that you've already had sex. It could be a hotel room, the living room, dining room, patio, or my personal fav....the kitchen.

To warm up, start with a strip tease. Wear your lingerie under layers of clothes and shed them slowly one by one to a saucy anthem of your choice. It has to be something with a pulsating rhythm and sexy lyrics. You can watch Carmen Electra's Strip Tease video for some great ideas on stripping.

When you are in nothing but your lingerie, give him a lap dance, complete with rump-shaking, bumping and grinding. Maintain eye contact and give him sexy glances, flip your hair and touch yourself while he's watching. You can even have some dollar bills on hand for him to slip into your underwear for effect.

Next, initiate a hands-off policy. Which means he's not allowed to touch you at all unless you give him permission to. (I would whip out my handcuffs at this point...but that's me;) Trail your body all over his, slowly, one inch at a time. Let him feel the satin of your lingerie against his skin. Shed the top sensuously, but keep your thong panties on. Rub your hard nipples against his skin, on all the sensitive spots like his thighs, arms, sides as well as his ball sac. Stick your ass in the air and wiggle it as much as you can. Arch your back. Play with him. Tease him. Torture him...and enjoy every single minute of it. His ardor increases just by watching you enjoy yourself.

By the time you put him in your mouth, he will already be heated to the point of pace him/you slowly, taking breaks to cool him down. Keep at this for several minutes. Try different blowjob techniques, like your hands in a different position, fisting, the corkscrew and other sundry moves. Ask the Over-Educated Nympho--she has some great fresh blowjob ideas. He's going to notice every single new thing you do and probably ask you to do some of them again.

When you finally release him from the hands off policy he will be ready to fuck you. Not make love---fuck. This is when you turn around and let him go at it doggy style. This is the position designed for fucking. It's carnal, erotic and passionate. Don't forget to participate, thrust your derriere against him hard over and over again until he starts to work that hard rhythm as well. Don't let up on the heat...keep it there by moaning, talking and groaning like you were auditioning for a sex video.

If you are ready to lose the shy girl side, welcome to the club. Read this, this, this, and this to get you started. I hope this helps. Remember, he will only push the envelope as much as you let him, so relax and let him keep pushing. If you think that you don't like what he's doing, give it another minute or so. If you still totally abhor it, then tell him to cease. At least you tried---and no one ever faults a Bad Girl for trying.

Good luck and I'm sure the other ladies will chime in with more tips for you.

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Posted by Vixen @ 11:54 PM :: 0 trainees letting it rip!

Talk to Me!