Bad Girl's Guide

Thursday, May 08, 2008

Unrequited Love

I've had a few crushes in my day, and even felt the scourge of unrequited love. Ooooo, the quagmire that is unrequited love. It's such a deep one, a hole that you aren't sure how you got into and know that it's going to be hell to get out of.

It might start innocuously, perhaps you two were just friends, or maybe he even had a girlfriend when you met him. But with a deft hand of Fate you start catching feelings for him, and this is where things start to get dicey.

For starters, guys totally love it when we are all googoogaga over them. Especially your average guy that doesn't get all this attention in the first place. He's flattered by the attention, his ego is stroked on a constant basis and trust me---he does see your antics and seduction techniques. He might act like he doesn't notice, but he actually does but doesn't want to say anything because it might be an uncomfortable scenario or he doesn't know what to say. So he says nothing and lets you continue in your quest to claim his heart.

Being that I'm a big believer in the school of thought that makes me want to be the pursued instead of the pursuer, there is no way that I can even advocate the pursuit. See when you do the chasing, you reverse gender roles and effectively shift the dynamics of the relationship. Sure, it's thrilling and out of the ordinary for them to get asked out and he might say yes just because he's a nice guy, but wouldn't you wonder if he would have asked you out if you hadn't thrown yourself at him? Would you want some guy to agree to date you out of pity?

Another thing I hate about unrequited love we end up making fools of ourselves in the name of love. There are things that I have done and have seen my friends do that to the normal Bad Girl screams desperation and low self-esteem. You might think that you are fighting for your chance at love, but the locker room story is that you are the desperate, clingy chick accepting crumbs of attention from him. 'Nuff said.

And even worse, is standing by waiting in the wings for him to notice you, while he's off dating someone else. Won't that twist a knife in your heart every single time you see the happy couple together?

If you are already in love with a guy that isn't yours or giving you the time or day, please take a step back and analyze the situation. Cut that drama out of your life asap. It's just a recipe for disaster. And just because there is that one story of unrequited love gone right doesn't mean that it will happen to you too. The man that is right for you will be the one chasing you.

Sometimes we are so busy pursuing someone else that we don't even notice the man that is falling in love with you.

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Posted by Vixen @ 5:46 AM :: 3 trainees letting it rip!

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