Bad Girl's Guide

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

Snooping

Definition: This is knowingly going through your significant other's personal effects...wallet, briefcase, purse, pockets, wardrobe, computer, email etc. in the hopes of finding something incriminating.

This essay is not going to side on either way on this issue. I leave my darling readers to do that. There are some instances that snooping is called for. Sometimes, you find the missing piece in the puzzle, you find why your Sixth Sense is telling you that something just isn't right. Under some circumstances, snooping can actually be accepted ~ after all, if he is a lying, cheating snake, how else are you going to find out?

The other side of the coin is that this is a gross invasion of privacy. Snooping ultimately implies that you don't trust the other person, and that you are looking for evidence that what they've told you up to that point is a lie. It tells the other person that you have no faith in their judgement, integrity, honesty and character.

Actions speak louder than words. You tell me you love me, but you don't trust me and have enough faith in us to believe that I'm not stepping out on you. Your going through my personal possessions suggests that you in fact don't love me as much as you say you do.

Let's say however, that certain things were in your line of sight. You weren't purposefully snooping...you were doing laundry, cleaning up, getting some cash from his wallet etc, and came across something that brought suspicions to the forefront of your mind? Do you immediately question them? Or do you just brush it off as nothing important? Or does it sit in your mind, constantly festering until it becomes something way bigger than it is?

I like to deal with everything head on. I don't confront, or put him on the defensive, but I let him know that I came across the scribbled phone number in his wallet and it raised some questions in my mind. I leave it up to him to reassure me and tell me what it was about, and I believe what he says...the first time. However, if it's a recurring scenario, and my sixth sense keeps screaming, I kick his ass to the curb take firmer action.

Curiosity sometimes does land you into a big mess. However, I would rather know from the onset, than get caught up and be ignorant for months to years. In this case, ignorance is not considered bliss.

Your thoughts?

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