Bad Girl's Guide

Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Internet Browsing

Internet dating seems to be the new wave of the 21st century. When I first started, back in the late 90s, it wasn't as accepted and cool as it is now. Almost every single lady I know has tried it at one time or another, some with success. It's easier than meeting in a bar, and you don't have your beer goggles on. It's a marketable commodity and sales are through the roof.

However, while browsing profiles, there are some things I have come across and simply must share with my darling 10 readers. When creating your profile, stay away from the cliches and make it stand out.

1. A Great Picture is the benchmark of any great ad. It has to be a picture of your face, with you smiling and looking absolutely delectable. It's also great to have other pictures as well, activities, friends, pets, and more pics of you. Stay away from suggestive pictures like you eating a banana naked...etc, unless you wish to garner that kind of attention.
Pet Peeve: Men who don't smile in their pictures. I know that not smiling can be considered rougish in a way, but I don't want to talk to someone who looks like an axe murderer. A smile is inviting, lets me know that you have a sense of humor and a nice set of teeth. Besides, it relaxes your facial lines so you don't look mean, scary and unattractive.
Pet Peeve #2: Don't post pictures with a woman if you are on a dating website. I don't care if she's your ex, your friend, your baby's mama, it's just not classy. How can you be trying to get a date with me if you have oodles of women on your profile? Looks to me like you are a playa. I'm sure you can take a solo picture. Be a big boy, you don't need a woman to hold your hand. Also, don't try to be slick and cut the women out, leaving their arms and hands still on your body...that's just sooooo gauche!

2. The Headline: Much be catchy, whimsical, positive and creative. Anything that says "this is my first time", "I don't know if this is going to work", ANYTHING that doesn't make you sound your adorable best is not working for me.
Pet Peeve: Anything that has the words nice, prince, queen, sexual innuendos just annoys the heck out of me. Also, why are you asking if anyone is out there? Are you out there?

3. The Essay: I don't want to hear your life story, I don't want testimonials of how nice and easygoing you are. Everyone says that. Instead, paint a picture in my mind, of how you took a sparrow to the animal rescue on your weekend off, or what irks you about society today. I don't want to read how fun or what a great sense of humor you have...these are all just words that cloak the essence of your character. Break outside the box and come out with something original. Because a cliche will just land you in the discard pile.

4. What are you looking for? If you don't know what you want...how will you know when you find it? I hate ads that say they are just looking for a nice, easygoing girl. I'm nice, and easygoing, but I'm also a thousand and one other things. I'm a conundrum wrapped in layers of intrigue and mystery. I'm unique, I'm very special. If you just want an Average Jane, then sorry, you are not looking for me.

5. Be honest, be truthful...you don't have to lie. There are millions of people browsing out there, there is bound to be someone who wants to talk to the REAL you. Don't tell me you like to travel when you have never been outside of 50 miles from where you were born. Don't tell me you like to read if you consider your car or tech magazines proper literature. Don't tell me anything that misrepresents the real person you are. Because chances are, if I catch you in a lie, I won't want to have anything to do with your Posing ass.

Your thoughts?

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Posted by Vixen @ 5:03 PM :: 13 trainees letting it rip!

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