Sunday, March 18, 2007
Teaching Children About Sex
In my family, it was more along the lines of, "Never have pre-marital sex and don't you ever get pregnant outside of wedlock!!!!"
, followed by further exhortations on the beauty of virginity and the possibility of getting disowned if you got knocked up. My parents skipped over the whole safe sex part totally and never, EVER told me about how to actually enjoy sex. Although being ultra conservative Christians, this is their belief, but at the same time it wouldn't have been remiss to arm me with a lot more information should I choose not to go the fostered route. They actually wanted us to think that they never, EVER had sex until with each other. Yeah right.
Needless to say, I learned my lessons the hard way.
I asked the Boyfriend the other day what his parents taught him about sex. His family is more open-minded, and his parents definitely more open to talking about everything under the sun. So I figured it would have been more fruitful education. Not so. It wasn't a topic that was ever brought up in an open forum---not even between father and son in a serious way that went beyond jokes and laughter.
I'm sure that if you thought about it and talked about it, very few of our parents ever had the talk with us about sexual responsibility and even less told us what the great sex secret was. So we ended up all finding out through our peers (who knew less than we did), the media (who sensationalized everything), and our own experiences the rudiments, importance and techniques surrounding sex. Thank God for the Internet!
Fortunately our generation managed to muddle through those awkward teenage years and youth with some grace. Unfortunately, we ended up with the highest population of sexually transmitted diseases and AIDS in history.
In raising our children, I definitely want to be more open about sex. Not in an embarrassing way or anything like that; but I want my daughter to be able to ask me any question knowing that I'll give an honest and forthright response. I want to give her tips on giving the best blowjobs, and educate my sons that foreplay/afterplay are very essential in the boudoir. I want to talk to them about safe sex, about birth control, about the possible baggage and heartbreak they are going to endure if they make ridiculous choices with their lovers. I want to encourage them to wait until they are 'ready', but not in a vague way like most parents do today and actually help them to figure out if they are ready.
I want to teach them to think with their head as well as their heart, and that sex is beautiful and wonderful. I want them to be able to talk to me...about anything, even if they think that I might get upset. I want to be the first person they turn to when they get in any sexual difficulty...and not just the big ones, but the little ones as well. I want to comfort them when they've had bad experiences, and share some of my ridiculous stories with them. I don't want them to ever look back, wishing that I'd been more open with them. I don't want them to have to learn basic sexual secrets in their 30s or 40s, and learn sexual lessons the hard way like I did.
Some people might feel that this is just going to breed a family full of sexual promiscuity --- but I don't think this will be the case. Ignorance is no longer an excuse for getting caught with your pants down, and I mean this literally as well as figuratively. Teaching them is elementally going to help them, both in the bedroom and out of it. It's better to get good information from a trusted source (like your parents), then to get false or foolish information from ignorant sources and learn from your own mistakes. And not all mistakes are reversible, sometimes, the consequences are quite debilitating.
My kids will be well informed and well educated in every aspect of sex. Besides, if you remove the mystery out of sex, then it becomes less of a taboo and less of a big deal. They will be more equipped to deal with it and less apt to stumble blindly into sex out of sheer curiosity. Add to that, my kids will be straight up sexual goddesses/gods, which ultimately puts them at the top of the food chain. What's not to love about that?
I guess it's true that with each generation, there is a definite shift in the way we educate and train our children.
How do you plan on teaching your kids about sex? If you have kids, how have you taught them? Feel free to bash this philosophy to pieces and share your own.
Labels: All About Sex, Girl Talk
Posted by Vixen @ 5:41 AM ::
4 trainees letting it rip!
Talk to Me!