Bad Girl's Guide

Friday, March 02, 2007

Dealing with Insecurity

I was listening to the radio today and a family life & relationship expert was talking about how we relate to people. He said something that totally caught my attention and made me think.

"Everyone is insecure. Everyone."

Even though alot of you might deny this---think about it. There is something about everyone that they don't 100% love. It could be a character flaw, habit, body image issue or baggage from your past. There is always something. I know I'm not perfect, no one is. Our insecurities come from our fear that someone, or people might actually see the 'real' you and not like you. We fear rejection, not just in the dating/relationship arena but in life period.

So to mask this fear, we create identities and personas of what we think people will like. A version of yourself that might be composed of bits and pieces of yourself but isn't the real you. That isn't made up of all the way really you. That way, if we do get rejected, it hurts less because you personally aren't being rejected, just your mask is. So we re-craft and re-mold the mask, hoping that next time, its more pleasing to everyone.

Humans are by nature social creatures and people pleasers. The difference between an insecure person and a confident person is that the confident person is more successful in maintaining the aura of confidence. And men are attracted to confident women.

So what's the secret formula for dealing with insecurity? Especially since everyone---from uber hotties like Beyonce to Angelina are all insecure too? How do you strike an impression as a confident person?

Fake it. Fake it until you feel it. Eventually, the confidence that you exude will start coming naturally. It's just like everything else in life. You are perceived by people how you want to be perceived. You have the power to change how people see you. All you have to do is tap into that and mold it.

Self actualization really does all begin from within.


Posted by Vixen @ 12:55 AM :: 3 trainees letting it rip!

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