I've realized that I tend to get comfortable a tad early when sharing my bizness. Therefore, I've adapted a rule of thumb. "Show me yours and I'll show you mine". I use this rule very religiously. By the time he feels comfortable enough with me to tell me about the affair he had with a married woman, I'm usually more than ready to dish about my...um...picadillos as well. Plus co-sharing gives you deeper bonds of friendship and doesn't let the other person feel as vulnerable.
However, in this process, there are some facets that you need to keep in mind.
- First of all, there has to be a strong foundation of trust. And trust is not given immediately, it's earned over time. Alot of women I've come across fail to realize and utilize this fact.
- You also must have a strong foundation of friendship. After all, only true friends can accept the torrid truth about you without being judgmental about it and not throw it in your face.
- Third, you must have mutual respect for each other and be willing to accept that their view of you might change. It shouldn't, however we do live in an imperfect world.
- Last but not least, communication. You have got to tell the whole truth when you are ready to bare your soul, or let them know that there are still some secrets that are too painful to share. This is not the time when you lie...because lies tend to catch up with you. And why come clean if you are going to lie? It doesn't make sense.
Secrets can be destructive and eat at you from the inside out. Sometimes, you might feel the burden of sharing is not worth the benefit, but keep in mind that by airing your laundry, you establish a deeper level of trust in your relationship.