Thursday, March 26, 2009

When He Doesn't Call: Again....

Here is a question that has been answered here, here and here, but I'll do it again just because darling girl sounds so utterly confused and new to this 'men not calling' phenomena.

I am seeing this guy who is really confusing me. We went out few times and it was great. I used to call him at least once at the beginning of the relationship but not often...but he used to answer and reply to my texts and also in return give me a ring but very rarely. it is the second day I have not called him and I haven't heard from him so I am thinking is he not into me at all. I did the same thing last time and he texted to asked why I have not called/texted and I said I was busy. I did that to make him miss me and call me and it worked at that time.

But i don't like games, if he is really into me i expect him to call me once a day at least. i feel like i am after him, if i don't call him, he wouldn't call or text till sometime. I know he likes me, when he is with me, he is too sweet and loving, he makes me feel really great!

How can i make him call me often? Because with me a relationship would only build with communication but if we rarely have communication i cant honestly develop any further relationship with this guy AND he is hurting and making me confused!

For starters, you are totally blowing this way out of proportion. This is a relatively new relationship, he's not obligated to call you everyday. Men don't use the phone as a social tool the way us girls do, for them, it's a means of communication period. "Hey, what's up. Let's plan our next date" not "Hey, how are you? What did you do today? Really? What are you thinking? Did you miss me?"....see the difference?

The fact that this is a new relationship and you are already psychoanalyzing and over-stressing can actually turn off the guy. They don't want a clingy, needy girl, and if you keep this up, you are heading down that road on a fast track. And please, drop the whole "I don't play games" shtick because if you didn't play games, you wouldn't have been playing the not-calling/I'm busy game when in reality you are sitting by the phone waiting for him to call you.

What you have managed to do is create a mountain out of a molehill. First, there is no definition based on your description to this relationship. You met this guy who you dated a few times and that is it. For him you are probably viewed as a good friend. For you, it has become something else. Perhaps the fault rests with you and not with him. Who is pursuing whom? From my experience, if a guy really wants to get to know you, even if he is shy, he will take the extra step to call and make contact. You have managed to get yourself emotionally connected to a person who probably only views you as a) a good friend b) a cool chick he hangs out with or c) a good lay (if you have slept with him).

Men are not as complex as we make them out to be. If he wants to pursue a relationship he will let you know. On the other hand, be careful what you wish for. Some men become stalkers in their quest to communicate with you and get to know you it turns into "control freak-dom". Stop emoting your need for love onto a person who obviously isn't ready for that sort of commitment with you. Think of him as a friend, call when you can or text when you can, but don't think of him as exclusively yours because he has not voiced that to you. And you are not exclusively his either!

If a guy wants to talk to you....he will call you. If he isn't calling, it just means that he's not interested in talking to you, plain and simple. There is no if, ands or buts about it. Stop playing these games with him, and obsessing over his calls or lack thereof. All that is just a waste of time and energy...energy that could be best put to use going out with your friends, shopping or even washing your hair!

Labels: Relationship issues

Posted by Vixen @ 3:24 PM :: 0 trainees letting it rip!

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