Wednesday, February 04, 2009
When You Can't Find a Decent Boyfriend in College
Vixen please shed some light on my hopeless situation. I am a 20 year old sistah in college whom is beautiful and independent. But for some strange reason i attract men whom are already in relationships. It's like i have the phrase "Play me" written on my forehead. Every time I think I've found the right man. He either has a girlfriend on the side or is totally immature. Why me??? My friends told me to shake it off and go fishing again. But my bait is reeling in the wrong catch of the day. Why is it so hard to find a real single mature man in the world?
Okay sweets, I don't know exactly where you are looking for these guys, but something in your MO is not working. The common denominator in all these relationships is you, so yes, there is something wrong. Where do you meet them? What attracts you? Are you going after the Bad Boy type?
Why are you so pressured to have a guy anyway? You are in college, enjoy the experience of getting to know yourself, developing life skills and getting into a profession. Your goals should be focused internally on working on you and not in getting a guy.
You described yourself as beautiful and independent...but right now, you don't sound very independent. An independent woman doesn't need a man to define her, she realizes that having a man is just the cherry on the top of an already delicious cake. An independent woman has alot going for her already, a social life, friends, activities, a great job and career goals. See where I'm going with this?
Guys in college are um...immature! They are still discovering themselves as well. They haven't become the full version of a man yet, so you are stuck in transition with a bunch of boys tryna be men. Is that the kind of person you want to be with?
The guy that is right for you will come, when the time is right...(that's what my mom always told me when I was stressing out about being single when younger!)
What's wrong with being single in college? Focus on your studies, figure out what you want in life, what kind of guy you want in your future and have fun. Release this pressure or expectation of having a boyfriend----it's really not all that it's cracked up to be unless it's the right person. It will happen when it happens. And you will be delightfully surprised.
I get it, all your friends are hooking up, having boyfriends and you want one too. But rushing into all the wrong relationships for all the wrong reasons is just going to leave you bitter, jaded and heartbroken in the end. In some cases, too baggage filled to even realize when a great guy lands in your lap.
Relax...take it easy. Your time will come.
Labels: Ask Vixen, Dating
Posted by Vixen @ 2:47 PM ::
5 trainees letting it rip!
Talk to Me!