Bad Girl's Guide

Monday, December 29, 2008

Questioning Ian, part 1

Okay everyone, you know I couldn't let Ian go without grilling him some hard questions, especially after the hot seat he gave me last week. For those of you just tuning in, Ian Coburn is the witty comedian/blogger/author who wrote God is a Woman and blogs on Lunch Is Not a Date as well as as several weekly columns both online and in print. that book, catchy title aside, it's truly a book that lets you understand the dating perspective from the male paradigm, and gives us gals a reality check. SAY WHAT YOU WANT and stop being fake.

His answers are in bold, mine in regular font:
  1. What is the big deal with men and porn?
  1. If you were in a relationship, would you still masturbate?
  1. Do you think a man that asks his lover to rank/compare him to other men she's been with is insecure? Why or why not? Do most men do this? Have you ever done this?
  1. Have you ever dated a one night stand after the one night? Why didn't the relationship work out?
  1. Do you think women should go dutch on dates? Why or why not?

I actually got a version of this question on Lifetime a month ago. My answer spawned a debate but in the end, all parties’ issues were resolved. It depends on the message you want to send. Guys need to gauge your interest level and determine whether you are on a “date date” (yeah, I know the chick lingo). The easiest way to do this is to see who pays. If we pay and you don’t say anything, you’re into us. If you insist on going dutch, it’s a strong indicator you’re not that interested. Yeah, yeah, I know that might not actually be the case but that’s irrelevant. The reason most of us suck at dating is because we fail to step back and consider the other person’s POV. It doesn’t matter at all what you think about this, ladies; it only matters what is going on in the guy’s head and that’s what’s going on. If you want a guy to know you like him, let him pay; don’t offer more than an “are you sure?” if that, even. Before you get your panties in a bunch, you can always offer to pay on the next date. In fact, when he pays, if you really want to clue him into asking you out again on the spot (part of The New Way to Date), you should say something on the spot like, “Well, I got the next one, then,” and smile. I have a third date with a woman tonight and she is taking me to dinner. So, you can still split things; just do it in another manner.

That's a really good alternative. I think that the whole feminist movement has enshrouded the courtship principle and pretty much ruined dating. I have noticed that when I don't like the guy, I always go dutch, so maybe that is an unspoken principle in the works. Ladies, heed the advice...but bring your cash anyway (God knows there are still cheapskates walking around). I once heard of story of a girl that had to do the dine and dash, because she didn't bring any money on her first date and the guy was a total loser. You've been warned.

On that note, I'll close the interview for today. Check in for part 2 tomorrow!

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