Thursday, January 11, 2007

Dealing With the Ex-Box

Definition: The Ex-box is the sealed box at the back of your closet, where all the leftover memorabilia from previous relationships is stored...at least, the stuff you didn't sell off on Ebay or burn in retribution.

Not everyone has an official box. For some it's just a clutter of memories mixed in with your everyday life. For others, after each relationship...you de-clutter and get rid of everything reminding you of your ex. And there are still others that hang on to everything, even the ticket stubs from the Led Zeppelin concert you both went to decades ago.

For each person, how they deal with their Ex stuff is different, however the question does remain---what do you do about your Ex-box when you are in a new relationship? Do you hide it at the back of your closet, in your garage or bury it; hoping he never stumbles across i? Or do you bring it out and show him bits and pieces, laughing together at the fact that you once dated a guy with bangs?

I've heard of some women flying into jealous fits of rage when they come across their boyfriend's stash of pictures of women he used to fuck with. My question is this...why are you pissed off? These are pictures and events that happened before you even came into the picture---so making a big fuss about it just makes you look like an insecure psycho. It's okay to express your emotions---we are human after all, but getting all crazy over a bunch of old pictures is utterly ludicrous.

I understand where elements of jealousy and insecurity might come in--especially if all his/her Exes are significantly hotter than you, but you still have to deal with it in a mature manner. Making him get rid of them and forcing ultimatums is not the answer. Your best bet would be to approach it with a sense of humor and a dose of self-confidence.

Here is what I think is cool about going through the Ex-box together---first, it is a bonding experience, another thing to share with your lover, another evening spent talking and getting to know each other better. Secondly, it shows that although you acknowledge that you have a past, you are still secure and happy in this current, new relationship to delve into each other's past without ill-will.

If he chooses to get rid of his Ex-box of his own free will, then more power to him, but this is not an issue that I would pick a fight about. Remember, you can't fault him for anything that happened in the past---what's done is done. Stay in the present. Presently he's with you. Savor that moment.

Your thoughts?

Labels: Relationship issues

Posted by Vixen @ 11:06 AM :: 6 trainees letting it rip!

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