Monday, January 08, 2007

Playing Yourself

Last evening, I happened to hear a conversation between my Boyfriend and one of his boys. There is so much you can learn from guys when they think you aren't paying attention. They were espousing the 'lack of virtue' of a particular young lady that the friend had been dating. In his words, she's 'fuckin' hot, pretty cool out of bed too,' but not the marrying type or settling down type. His solution, even though he totally clicked with the girl and liked her alot, was to break up with her after banging her brains out for 3 weeks with some pretty harsh words.

Before we start male bashing here, let's examine things from his perspective. Here is where I think the lovely lady screwed up....

1. She slept with him on the first night. And every night since then. That equals in his mind that she's easy, a tramp and not the marrying kind. Even though she might have just been hella attracted to him, he sees it as a negative thing, and not the kind of girl you bring home to mama.
   
2. She kept dating/sleeping with several other guys, and he knew about it. Even though she is being upfront and honest, in his book, this is another strike against her. Even though men know about the whole 'thrill of the chase' thing, he doesn't want to chase her if he's not sure that she's totally into him, or having to beat off other men with a stick just to get to her doorstep. He'd rather find someone without a gaggle of guys hanging around her, someone that shows interest in him more exclusively. Yes, they do like the exclusive thing too...
   
3. He feels he can't trust her. In his remarks, she's the kind of girl that might end up 'fuckin' around on you' and he gets hurt in the long run.
   

So how does a fabulous female in this day and age navigate the thorny waters of dating & sex without being labeled 'loose and unmarriageable'?

First of all, you have to know what you want. If you want to have a boyfriend, sleeping with him early isn't going to make him believe you are 'girlfriend material'. Most guys equate the ease of getting booty as some sterling quality, thinking that it's a direct correlation. 'The harder to get the pussy, the better she must be' mentality I guess. First date sex...hell no. Not even on the second, and better still be crossing your legs for the third. Of all the 'rules' I've heard of, this is the hardest to stick by and yet the most equitable.

Secondly, know if you are ready to settle down. Your mind and spirit has to be in a state that leaves 'playing games', the field and sowing your royal oats all into the yesterdays of your youth. If you are looking for something serious, be serious. If you are looking to get laid, don't all of a sudden start expecting more from the guy when all you did at the beginning was get hot and heavy in the sheets. Set your expectations on the level that you desire and act accordingly.

Last but not least, keep your dirty laundry yours. It's cool to confide in a guy that you like and want to get to know better about your past, but there are some topics that are just shark infested waters that automatically demerit you. Until you are sure that you can't get docked for your past liaisons and lifestyle, keep those secrets to yourself. And yes, you know which ones I'm talking about...

Your thoughts?

Labels: Girl Talk

Posted by Vixen @ 8:37 AM :: 7 trainees letting it rip!

Talk to Me!

---------------oOo---------------