Bad Girl's Guide

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

To Swing or Not to Swing?

On a followup question to the Evolution of Sex post, a reader asked of my thoughts on swinging (couples with couples) to fix the problem.

To me swinging is like anal sex. It's good for some and bad for others. (And when I say others I mean a WHOLE lot of others!) It takes a really solid relationship with very clear lines of communication to be able to make it through a swing soiree and still keep the relationship intact. Usually one of the partners can't handle the pressure and it becomes a big fiasco that ends up fragmenting the relationship.

The pressure you are adding is a multi-layered sword. Even if you think you are an open-minded person, it could end up haunting you reflectively, even after the fact. No matter how 'advanced' you are as a couple, you are still humans and humans are prone to emotions that tend to grow out of control. You are introducing emotions and feelings into your relationship that might be detrimental. Jealousy, insecurity and doubt are very real factors that might rear it's ugly head. It might end up ruining the positive flow of your relationship. Why add more drama when there is none?

What if the other couple is hotter than you? What if one of them is psycho? What about STDs? What if he likes sleeping with the other Female more than you? What if she gives him better head? What if she's more experienced? What if they are more experienced? What if he starts fantasizing about her after the fact? What if his cock is bigger than your man's? What if you enjoyed the freaky sex with the other guy better? What if you aren't ready for that level of frolicking? What if you freak out... What if..., what if....what if....!!! Just thinking about some of the factors are already making me dizzy!

Some people are able to negotiate the waves of swinging with complete abandon. They can view it as 'just another sex-perience', something fun and different to spice up the bedroom. I once knew a guy that had a girlfriend for 7 years in which they swang regularly (several times a month). It was at his request, but she must have enjoyed it to do it so much right?

As adventurous as I am, there are some routes that I know I cannot take all in the name of improving sex. Swinging for me is definitely one of them.

Your thoughts?

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