Bad Girl's Guide

Saturday, August 12, 2006

Should You Always Wait to Have Sex?

In reading July’s issue of Cosmopolitan, there was an article that caught my eye. Adapted from the book Everything You Know About Love and Sex is Wrong, the author Pepper Schwartz stated that even though the general consensus is that women should wait until at least the third date to have sex, there has been a dramatic shift in that paradigm.

She stated 3 reasons that it might not be feasible to wait and went on to say that we should just…”go for it.”

  1. The Moment Might Be Perfect: The example given was meeting someone who was flying out of town the next day. I do agree with this reason, however, it is wrong to assume that a fleeting sexual encounter, no matter how steamy it is will lead to a relationship.
  2. Some Men Won’t Open Up Unless it’s Sexual: Ummmm, do you really want a guy that can only open up because of sex anyway? Sure, pillow talk is great but the feelings expressed then are mostly because you are both high off the Love Train. Is it really trustworthy if there isn’t a relationship of sorts first?
  3. It Can Lead More Quickly to Intimacy: Pepper states that sex is the answer to finding out if the relationship is worth your time investing. This point irks me more than the others mainly because the intimacy based on this premise is fake/simulated intimacy (see above). In addition, even though I think sex is important in the evaluation of a relationship, it shouldn’t be the single measuring stick. Great sex does NOT equal great love.

Ladies, please don’t fall for this theory. There is nothing wrong with waiting for sex. Remember free love costs waaaay too much. In addition, once we add sex to the mix we start having all these intensely sexual feelings that tend to really color our judgement of the man’s character, integrity and morals.

Your thoughts?

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Posted by Vixen @ 12:48 AM :: 14 trainees letting it rip!

Talk to Me!

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