Wednesday, May 04, 2005

Bug-a-Boo

Definition: This is a person that has been told that you want nothing to do with him, but still continues to call and try to see you.

Ok, so now that we know what a Bug-a-boo is, the question is how will we get rid of him?

First things first, you have to lay the groundwork to prevent Bugaboo-ism. You should let the guy know that the date is simply an interview of sorts and if he aces it, then you will see him again. However, if for some reason you feel that you guys don't click, you won't talk to him again. Plus, after the unclicking date, just tell him that you are 'unavailable'. Unavailable to future dates and all future encounters. Give him the red light, and not a wishy washy yellow one. Most bugaboos don't know that they are one, so let him know at the beginning that you wish to no longer continue the acquaintance.

1. Don't give out personal info: In the age of modern technology, and great inventions like google and the internet, even your home phone number is in the locale of personal info. Use your cell phone for dating, until you trust the guy to a certain level. Don't give out your home number. If you don't have a cell phone, get one, they have disposable buy-minutes-as-you-go type phones nowadays. Also, remember that there is such a thing as caller ID, so unless you want him to find out everything he can from your phone number, use a calling card or block your number.

2. Don't let him know your apartment number: If you live in a complex, meet him at the lobby or a foyer, the worst he can do is stalk your building. Better yet, meet him in a public place or have him pick you up at somewhere else. That way, you have covered the bases. It's also a great thing to have a secure apartment complex that he needs a code to get in.

3. Use an email program that has blocking features: To block annoying emails. Personal favorite, AOL. You can even create a separate email identity just for dating and filter out unwanted emails. Plus, when it gets too much, you can close the alternate ID without any fuss to your normal email activity.

4. Use and IM program that has blocking features: Like yahoo instant messenger. Simply relegate them to your blocked list and you will never get annoying IMs from them again. Plus, you can set the program to permanently show you as invisible to him, that way, he won't ever know that you are online. However, if you delete them from your list, you have no power whatsover and he can see you and contact you. So shove him to the blocked list and make yourself Invisible.

5. Screen your calls: Ok, it's an old method that still works. Let all your unidentified calls go to voicemail. That way, in your free time, you can delete his messages.

6. Don't let him know where you work: Don't ask me why, it's self explanatory. If you work say at a busy downtown hospital, you might say which one, but don't say what floor or field. Broaden your department, for example, if you worked in the Pediatric ICU, tell him you work in Peds. Likewise, if you worked in the Accounting department, tell him that you work in Transactions or something equally vague.

7. Last Name: Ok, remember the thing about google that I said earlier? Still apt in this case. Don't let him know your full name. I have 13 names so I have the luxury of picking which to use at particular times. Usually, I go with the exotic ones, harder to remember...hehehe. But if he already knows your name, then please don't tell him your last name. It's alot harder to find Jane than it is to find Jane Fitzpatrick III. Get my drift?

8. Business Cards: Do not hand out your real business cards. Have dating cards made for free at www.vistaprint.com. All you pay is S&H and you can limit the info you put on there. For mine, I put only my cell phone number, my email addy, city and state. That way, he doesn't have that much real info to harass you with.

9. Don't Return calls: Remember what I said about the wishy washy yellow light? If you return his calls that is exactly what you are doing. I don't care if this is so that you can tell him that you don't want to speak to him again...duh, you already did that. So don't return any of his calls, messages, IMs or text messages. Ever. Eventually he will get the message.

10. Restraining Order: Yep. When all else fails, get a restraining order (or at least threaten to get one). This is usually quite effective, plus you have documented history of his stalkerisms should you ever need to sue his ass for harassment.

And please, don't become a BugaBoo. Any actions and examples written above can also apply to you. A BAaaad girl is not a BugaBoo. She knows that there are other better fish in the sea so so doesn't worry and stalk 'The One that Got Away.'

If a guy is not that into you, don't try and make him see the light. It's a foolhardy plan and you will just come off looking pathetic and desparate. So once you see, even the faintest yellow light, hightail it to the other direction. Mr. Right 4U will be chasing after you, and not the other way around.

Labels: Dating

Posted by Vixen @ 11:45 AM :: 2 trainees letting it rip!

Talk to Me!

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