Monday, July 25, 2005

Date Rape

Definition: Having a sexual encounter with someone that you would never in a MILLION years sleep with, due to threats, violence, coercion or blackmail.

First to clarify, in no way am I an expert in any shape, form or fashion.

As a woman in this day an age, have you ever been in a situation that with a guy, that you were in an isolated environment, and you didn't want to have sex with him, but you did anyway because he wanted to and you felt that that was the only recourse for you?

A college buddy of mine, got a call from the best friend of her roommates' boyfriend. Ok, long connection, but stick with me here. He was feeling out of sorts, depressed and upset and needed some company. She picked him up in her car, and they drove around campus. Bear in mind that this is a strict Christian college, curfew was at 11 and this was already after midnight.

They were in the car, just talking, and she parked still not noticing how deserted the campus was. He pulled out a Swiss blade from his pocket and started playing with it. It was then that she realized what a compromising position she had placed herself in. He said, "I'm so depressed, I want to kill myself. The only thing that can make me feel better is having sex right now."

Say what?

She complied. Till this day I don't know why she did it. She said she felt pressured, that if she didn't sleep with him, he was either going to stab himself or her. Classic date rape scenario.

Ok, so this isn't the type of thing that one would expect on an average date. However it does happen and more often than you think. Waaaaay more often than you think. Talk to your girlfriends, I'm sure several of them can give you examples.

How does a Baaaad Girl avoid such scenarios?

1. Don't think everyone is Mr. GoodyTwoShoes. It's better to expect the worst and be pleasantly surprised than to be caught unawares. Assume that every guy wants to sleep with you. The question is, do you want to sleep with them? If the answer is no, then you have to protect yourself.
2. Control the environment, the setting. Stay in a public place. STAY IN A PUBLIC PLACE!
3. Have a weapon with you at all times. My sister always took a sharp kitchen knife with her on first dates. My preference is a can of mace. If you know some martial arts that's good too. Check at your local police station. They sometimes have a list of stuff you can get and where you can get it from.
4. Practice and use your horror scream. Sometimes, just the loud scream is enough to ward off assailants.
5. Say no. Most of the time, we don't. We just go along with it to risk confrontation. Let him know that NO, it's not fuckin ok, and you don't want him to lay his grubby paws on you.
6. Use the tactics in BugABoo. I know I keep referring to this, but it's good stuff to know.
7. Stay alert. Don't forget to always make a note of your surroundings and your date's demeanour. Is he drinking? Is he depressed? Does he have violent tendencies? Has he ever called you names?
8. Make a BIG SCENE! Let the drama Queen run free. This has worked for me on a few occasions.
9. Don't go to his place unless you do plan to sleep/mess around with him. We may think that, "Oh, we are just going to hang out and watch a movie," but really this isn't what he's thinking. My male friends have told me several times that this is construed as an automatic green light.
10. Above all, be true to yourself. Even if you do like the guy, and you aren't ready to knock boots with him yet, be honest about it. If he is a great guy, he will understand and back off.

Don't Just Do It.

Labels: Girl Talk

Posted by Vixen @ 10:08 PM :: 11 trainees letting it rip!

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Friday, July 22, 2005

Pick Up Lines for Guys

Ok, most of these I have used, they have a 97% accuracy rate as a conversation starter. The rest is up to you. I say 97% because some guys are dumb as bricks and don't know that you are talking to them. In that case ABORT mission.

1. Nice Butt!
2. Grab aforementioned butt
3. Act speechless. Then gush, "So hot you made me forget what I was going to say"
4. "Lawd have mercy, you so fine"
5. "I like your shirt. Where did you get it from?" all the while patting shirt and checking out his pecs
6. "I'm friends with Amy/Ben/ a gatecrasher, who do you know here?"
7. "Can you help me please?" flashing a great smile, "I have a bet with my girlfriend. To win, I have to get your number"
8. "Hey, you are Jane's friend right?" He actually said yes, and then I had to say something else really fast..."She's a really cool person, isn't she?"
9. "I'm taking an informal poll on how guys react when really cute women attempt to pick them up. Any comments?"
10. "Hi, I'm new here, my name is Vixen Matenoupoulos" The more creative the name, the more it will beg conversation. Although giving your real name works as well too.

Anyone else have any good ones that work for them?

Labels: Dating

Posted by Vixen @ 1:32 AM :: 14 trainees letting it rip!

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---------------oOo--------------- Assertiveness

First of all, must give a shoutout to my girl OverEducatedNympho who is truly a Baaaad Girl of the first order. I got a link to her site via a post that she dedicated to one of my posts. Anyway, the title of her post is "How to End a Bad Date". I especially love option Number 1, 3 and 4. Anyway, go over there and give her some love!

Moving right along...a Bad Girl is essentially assertive. She knows what she wants, when she wants it and goes right after whatever she wants. The difference between a Bad Girl and a regular Sally is that if Sally sees a really cute guy, she will flirt with him from across the room and shyly gaze at him all through the night willing him to come over and talk to her. A Bad Girl will see the hot guy, stare at him boldly and if he still doesn't get the hint, strut her sexy self over to his side of the room and strike up a conversation. This could be by mentioning his cute butt, pinching aforementioned butt, whichever way she needs to to get his attention.

Bad girls don't simper...and they don't cower.

In my former life, I was a Sally, and I let many a hot conquest slip away never to be seen again because I was overcome by 'shyness'. Puhlease, *rolling eyes*that is just a word that chickens made up to cover the fact that they are cowards. Anyway, I realized that I lost the chance to speak to many an available and studly bachelor because of my inhibitions, so I threw them into the wind and morphed into my Vixenish self. Most of the Vixen traits are gotten from every single movie I've seen that women go after what they want...Erin Brokovich, Samantha from Sex and the City, Legally Blonde etc. If you have any friends or Bad girls to emulate, go right ahead and use their styles.

Call forth your inner diva and score every single phone number from every single hot man in the room, if that is your desire. Don't let anyone stand in your way.

Bad Girls get whatever they want. End of story.

Labels: Girl Talk

Posted by Vixen @ 1:09 AM :: 3 trainees letting it rip!

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Friday, July 15, 2005

Bad First Dates

Alot of us are into the Internet Dating scene. It's a new, fresh way to date, and you screen out alot of ineligible men right from your computer screen. However, once in a while, an ineligible male might land into your net. The question is, what do you do with him?

On several occasions, I have gone out with someone that I knew wasn't a viable option...I just wanted to have something to do.
Is this right? No.
Did I still do it? Yes.
Did I have a lousy time on the date, wishing that I was at home washing my hair instead? Yes. Did I smile pleasantly, act polite and endure the WHOLE date as planned without cutting it short? Yes.
Did I mentally wrap my fingers around his throat and choke him silent as he prattled on about some trivial subject matter like the proper maintenance of gardening tools? Yes.
Did I tell him I had a great time even though we both know that I was just lying through my teeth? Yes.

Most women know within the first few minutes whether this date has potential or not. Some of us can even tell without the guy even opening his mouth. How does a Baaaad girl handle an awful date?

First of all, use the Hour Rule when setting first date plans. Your first date should never exceed an hour. Meet for drinks, which usually lands you in the 10-15 minute zone. You have just enough time to see him, check him out, decide if he's worthy or not and cinch the deal. After your first drink, decide if you want to have dinner with him and proceed from there. Consider the drinks an interview, if he aces it, then you can offer the next step. Coffee, slurpees, ice cream etc. all fall in this friendly meet & greet scenario. Public place, non threatening, fast service and simple choices...lots of benefits.

Always let him know that you have other plans. They could include a number of inane activities, but he doesn't know that. You don't have to be specific and say what they are and what time they are, but you have a ready excuse to dash if needed.

Remember the old system, of having your best friend call you with an 'Emergency' so you had to leave right away? Ummm, let's not do that. Guys see through that pretty easily nowadays, so don't be fronting.

And please, give these guys a fighting chance. Don't automatically rule him out because he's shorter than your 6 feet 6 inch prototype. Lets leave the shallow expectations at the door and hopefully he will do the same.

Oh yeah, and BE SAFE! Remember that you have got to always take care of Number One. Helen added, "Always let someone know where you are going and who you are meeting. Give them as much info you have about the person."

Any other tips from the sassy divas out there?

Labels: Dating

Posted by Vixen @ 3:38 PM :: 10 trainees letting it rip!

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Wednesday, July 06, 2005

Honor 'The Code'

Definition: The Code is the unwritten rule that true girlfriends stand by at all times. You NEVER date/makeout with/kiss/have sex with your friend's man/crush/ex/boytoy/baby daddy.

A party is not a party if one of your best girls' isn't there hanging with you and making sure you get home ok. Now if you see a really cute guy flirting with you across the room, and you pointed him out to your girlfriends, and said gentleman comes your way and talks to both of you...you have first dibs on him.

The same goes for if your girl tells you that she has a crush on a guy, and you happen to like him as well...then only one of you gets to play with said man. It should be who called it first, but you may have different rules in your clique. You do not date a guy that your friend has dated, even if they already broke up. The only exception is if your friend is ok with it; and that is rarely the case, she might say that she is cool, but she probably doesn't expect you to date him. And even though she may act like it's ok, inside she is hurt that you would betray her like that and 'sleep with the enemy'. I know, it's not logical, but we generally aren't logical creatures.

In the same vein, please, do not be the crafty 'friend' who tells her girl that you messed around with a crush of hers, in the hope that you will get her feelings for the guy to change and leave you home free to pursue aforementioned guy. That is low, mean and spiteful. Friends don't stab each other in the back. Even though you might plan on appearing on Jerry Springer.

Remember, there are always other fish in the sea. Never set a cap for your girl's man. NEVER!

A Baaaaad Girl realizes that men come and go but friends are forever.

Labels: Girl Talk

Posted by Vixen @ 12:12 AM :: 17 trainees letting it rip!

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