Thursday, September 27, 2007
When You Have Feelings for Your Friend's Man
This is a big No-no in the Sisterhood, but somehow there is always a lady that feels that this is something that she can't control. I don't care if you have a 'great chemistry
' with the guy or it was just a 'random hookup
', the fact that he's your friend's guy makes him automatically a leper to you.
You might reason that you are doing her a favor, by showing her what a dog he is, but the truth is that you are forever shattering your friendship. She might forgive you and stay friends with you, but she can never, ever trust you again. If he's a cheat, let her find out on her own, not by putting your scandalous self in the middle of the tryst.
Giving voice to your feelings, whether it's to your friend, or to the guy is just opening an avenue for complication. This is one of those unrequited love scenarios that you just have to keep to yourself. Your visceral reaction might be to distance yourself from your friend and the guy to keep your sanity, and if that is the case then it must be done. Please, please---don't mess around with your friends' guy.
It doesn't matter that you may have met him first, or that she treats him bad. Whatever the reason, it's just a justification or rationalization that you are trying to use to make it okay. It's never okay. You don't want to be known as that girl
right? The Man Stealing slut? Didn't think so.
Even men have this code. Remember in Love Actually
, when the English dude was in love with Keira Knightley? He never told his friend, he never disparaged their relationship, he actually distanced himself as much as possible without crossing the boundary. And when he did spill his guts, it was in such a sweet and classy way. And then he walked away. You've got to walk away
Oh, and if they happen to break up and he's single, it's still not okay. Your friend might state she's cool with it, but think about how you would feel in that scenario. There are over 6 billion people on this planet for a reason, it's not just him. A good friend is hard to find, a great friend even harder. A girlfriend that fits you, is tried and true, knows you and will sell her best Jimmy Choos for you to pay rent is a rarity. Don't throw it away over a guy.
Labels: Girl Talk
Posted by Vixen @ 6:01 AM ::
10 trainees letting it rip!
Talk to Me!