Monday, February 12, 2007
Reclaiming Your Inner Freak
I am 27 and just coming out of a four year marriage. The relationship was one in which, I wasn't valued sexually. We went almost a year without having sex-11 months and 14 days! Believe me, I was keeping track. It was the longest 11 months of my life! I never found out why he never put out. It's funny because you always hear about it being the woman who doesn't want to do the deed after she's married. It was quite the opposite in my case.
Anyway, I'm with someone new, and he's amazing in bed! I want to make him feel the way that he makes me feel. I'm getting back into the swing of things in the bedroom, so to speak...but my forced celibacy seems to have had a lasting effect on me. Especially when I am on top-I freeze up. I didn't used to be this way. Pre ex-husband, it was one of my favorite positions. I don't know what happened! Vixen, how can I reclaim my inner freak? I miss her.
You poor baby! First of all, I'm not going to go on a rant and tell you the obvious---if your ex wasn't getting it from you, he was definitely getting it from somewhere else. I'm sure your smart sexy self realized that.
Now to the question at hand...how do you get your inner vixen back? It's really not that hard, she's not dead, just gone into hiding during your forced celibacy. It's a coping mechanism, probably a way to prevent you from going crazy from horniness
while you weren't getting laid. Here are a few pointers off the top of my head and I'm sure the lovely ladies here will chime in with more.
- Fall in Love: Fall in love with your body all over again. Take a few minutes out of everyday to admire how beautiful you are and complement your hotness. Stand naked in front of a mirror and strut your stuff. Appreciating your inner glow and radiance is what will awaken the fiery temptress within.
- Get Comfortable: Get used to your body. Get comfortable with it. Masturbate!! Learn your favorite spots. (That way you can be sure what you like and don't). Touch yourself. When your mind is running with naughty thoughts, indulge in the fantasy and don't shut it down. Watch your lover as he moves and gaze at him with that secret & sexy look in your eye. Lose your inhibitions. Stop thinking that he's judging you, he's just happy to see you nekkid.
- Start Slow: As with everything, starting slow is the key. Great sex begins from within, so you have to do whatever you can to get your head and heart in the right place. Read some erotica and love poems to your lover. Even a sexy romance novel will do. Write your own sexy love scenes. Watch sexy love scenes in movies, or even all out porn.
- Play Games: Games in the boudoir are the most fun kind, mainly because there are no losers! Play strip tease, strip poker or strip gin. Roll a pair of dice. Get a sexy board game and play in bed. Break out the scarves. Challenge yourself to never, EVER do the same thing twice. Try new places, new rooms and new furniture. Bring in props.
- Role Play: This is one of my favorite things to do. Talk to your lover to find out what fantasies he has and then enact them. Share with him some of your own. Be open and honest, even detailed as to how you want him to touch you and what you want him to say.
- Talk Dirty: Covered extensively HERE and HERE, enjoy letting your wild side out.
- Make Some Noise!!! I'm sure the neighbors will hate you for this, but let your inner freak loose. Start with small moans and break all out into louder ones. The more noise you make, the more turned on you both get.
- Spank it Up: Okay I must say there is something really provocative about a well placed tap in the right moment.
- Variance: Stray away from the more conventional sex positions and styles and try something new. A quick search on the internet will yield you dozens of positions that will rival those of the Kama Sutra.
- As for the Cowgirl Riding part of your question...I promise to address that in the next post;)
Labels: All About Sex
Posted by Vixen @ 6:00 AM ::
2 trainees letting it rip!
Talk to Me!