Monday, June 04, 2007

When She Doesn't Pick Up the Phone

I got a question from a reader yesterday telling me that he's found a woman that he feels is the one woman for him. The only problem is she isn't picking up the phone---so what's he gonna do?

Here's the deal, there are just a few reasons why a lady won't pick up or call you back in a reasonable time frame. (Reasonable is defined usually by 1-4 days depending on whether it's the weekend or work week.

1. You came on too strong/creeped her out: You pushed for something deeper too soon and too fast, tried to get hella physical too soon before she was ready for it. So she's thinking that you are 'kinda desperate', 'weird', 'psycho' or any other appalling label by totally freaking her out. Unfortunately there is really no way to totally eradicate this idea from her mind, the more you keep calling her, the more you solidify this belief. Your best bet would be to slow it down...stop calling her and wait for her to call you back. I'm not saying sit waiting by the phone; but don't make hearing back from her your life's priority. If she doesn't---well then, she obviously wasn't the One.
   
2. She doesn't like you/met someone else: Not every woman is good at following through, and some tend to pull the disappearing act even though they know it's not the right thing to do. You might feel a connection, but the other party doesn't and so she is going to ignore your calls until you stop calling. Yeah, she's being a coward but sometimes that's the way the cookie crumbles.
3. She's playing games: Sometimes women wanna play the whole 'let him call me three times to every one I call him' in the guise that this will make you want them more. They are usually strong believers in the 'thrill of the chase' ideology. Whatever. I'm from the school of thought that if I want to talk to you...I'll call you right then and there. Waiting just to get you all anticipatory, is just being a tease.
   
4. She's hella fuckin' busy!: If I'm going through a life crises, vacation, illness, family issues and what not, calling a guy I just met is going to be somewhere towards the bottom of the list. I'm not saying to give her an excuse, but sometimes, life does interfere in our dating time lines. In this case, I would give her a few days to contact you.
   

Either way, your best bet is to wait it out. You can't force someone to call you. She'll call you when she's ready. The more you call her, the greater chance you have of heading down option #1. Drop that phone mister! If you must, leave one last message in a couple of days with your number (in case she lost it) and tell her that this is your last call. Good luck!

Ladies, did I skip over any other reason?

Other reading:
Bugaboo
When He Doesn't Return Your Phone Calls

Labels: Ask Vixen, Dating

Posted by Vixen @ 11:24 PM :: 1 trainees letting it rip!

Talk to Me!

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