Bad Girl's Guide

Thursday, May 31, 2007

On Being Direct

I got this question a while ago from a reader that actually had me thinking. Is being a direct person bad? My gut response was to say no, but then I thought that how many of us are truly, truthfully, painfully honest? It's so acceptable in today's society to use subterfuge and white lies to placate or mislead someone. Even the rhetorical question of "Do these jeans make my ass look fat?" isn't answered directly and truthfully.

Being politically correct or 'nice' has taken the forefront both in media, our lives and society. We have gotten adept at hiding what we truly want to say under layers of innuendo, falsehoods, exaggerations, misrepresentations and flat out lies. The painfully honest people...the real truth seekers and speakers have gotten the tables turned on them as being too direct, forthright, tactless and mean. From politicians to preachers, we've all heard of one scandal after another based on lies and deceit until every one is just another story. Even children are quick to leap into the fray, telling you what they think you want to hear instead of the whole, unvarnished truth.

In relationships everyone hates to be lied to. Some have gone as far to say that they don't want to be with a liar. But before we start pointing fingers at our significant others, perhaps we should look in the mirror first. What lies have you told recently? It could be an excuse on why you were late to work, an exaggeration in a story or even a white lie to make someone feel better. Whatever it is---we all have that element and power in us that instinctively veers us away from the plain unvarnished truth into a gray area thats yet to be defined.

This is one of those areas that we each must examine individually and actually make a concerted effort to eradicate. Because we can only fix this issue first with ourselves. We can't expect an ideal or character trait in our relationships that we are unable to attain on a daily basis. Andrea had this really good list on her blog a while back that stuck in my mind. She called it the A-Game Rules.
1. Think before you speak
2. Always speak your mind, but from your heart
3. Take responsibility for all that you say, and all that you do
4. No untruths…
5. No judgment. Accept that we’re all on different paths and everyone’s path is simply different from your own. Not wrong, not awful or destructive and stupid...just DIFFERENT.
6. Mean what you say and say what you mean
7. Be genuine
8. Aim to please, not hurt or destroy
How did lying become so acceptable in our generation? What is it that we fear that makes lying the easy way to go? Is it possible to live a life without lying? Please let me know your thoughts.


Posted by Vixen @ 1:28 AM :: 4 trainees letting it rip!

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