Monday, April 23, 2007

When He Acts Differently

My boyfriend and I for the most part have a great relationship. Our roles are kinda backwards, he's the one whose a little more sensitive and I'm the one who can be insensitive and a little cold. But my boyfriend goes through phases. For the most part that's how we are, but then there are times where all of a sudden he feels like becoming "more manly" and leaves the little things such as a good morning texts or calling up to me. I hate it because when he becomes like that, I turn into a huge emotional sensitive wreck. Basically we switch roles. Why do you think he does that and what should I do because i take it kinda offensively when he acts really manly because I'm not used to it from him.

Your guy actually sounds nice, sweet and thoughtful--and you are right, you do sound like the alpha dog in the relationship. I honestly think he backs off once in a while because he's starting to feel taken for granted and he wants you to put more effort into the relationship and show to him that you do care. Calling him and texting him when you don't hear from him is a sign that you are concerned enough about him to check if he's still breathing. Even though to you might seem like a little thing...to him it proves you level of adoration.

I think that the routine of your calling/texting dynamic has been set as you being the receiver of his admiration/attention. This is quite flattering and you probably have come to enjoy it alot. You should take initiative and be the giver, set a reciprocal standard and call him 'just to hear the sound of his voice,' to see how his day is going, and to tell him what naughty underthings you are/aren't wearing.

I'm sure that if I was the only one calling my man all the time with no obvious show of his admiration I would back off too. Not only as a pride issue, but because I would start feeling more emotionally invested in the relationship than he is and of course that would hurt my feelings. Truthfully though, it would make me annoyed enough to verbalize what my underlying issues are knowing that he will fix the problem once he knows what it is. But that's just me.

As for him acting manly, consider this---he's a man first a foremost. He might be a sweet guy, even a sensitive guy; but he's still a man. The manly thing will always be there...perhaps in a dilute state when he's around you...but it will ALWAYS be there. Have you noticed a pattern in the macho attitude? Like maybe it's after he's been hanging out with his guy buds, talking to you in their presence or around them while he's with you? He might just be showing off in front of his friends that you don't have him so whipped and wrapped around your finger.

You have to consider this---one of the faces is an act and one is the real him. Now figuring out which is real is the dicey part. You can do this just by talking to him, after all, communication is the benchmark of an ideal relationship. Express to him that you aren't sure what the Macho Attitude is about and that you don't know if that's his mask or his real face and you just want to know what you're dealing with.

Okay Alpha Babe, go call your man right now and put in the effort. He sounds like he's worth it, and the benefits you will reap by going the extra mile are definitely worth the few minutes it takes to check up on him.

Labels: Ask Vixen, Relationship issues

Posted by Vixen @ 11:58 AM :: 1 trainees letting it rip!

Talk to Me!

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