Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Why are Women So Complicated?

I'm sure that this is one of those questions that has many a guy confused and wondering in sheer frustration how to deal with this enigma wrapped up in a conundrum called Woman.

She is bestowed with all the ASSets and virtues and form that would make you fall in love with her, and all the idiosyncrasies that you find so cute. She's adorable, gorgeous, intelligent and at times you feel like she can read your mind. She's amazing in bed, treats you like a king and throws down like in a boss in the kitchen. She's the perfect woman for you. She's the perfect lady.

But she drives you absolutely crazy! And you have no idea why or what to do. It seems like when everything is rosy, something makes her totally ballistic and she morphs from sweet and nice to fire and spice. Allow me and the Bad Girls to help...here's a short list of the possible reasons that she is flipping the script and making you almost pull out your hair in utter defeat.

1. You said something that pissed her off: Solution~As soon as you realise that you put your foot in your mouth...apologize. Telling her that she's delusional or trying to defend your position will only further prick her ire.
   
2. You forgot something...very important: Perhaps an anniversary, even if it is the anniversary of your first smooch, kiss and tumble, we usually have it down to the day. Forgetting once in a while is not bad, but we've gotten pretty good at dropping HUGE hints. So after getting hints, if you still forget...you are usually in for it. Solution: Make every day special...even if you aren't sure of when it is...make it special by bringing your A game to the table. She'll be so bowled over by your random acts of sweetness that when you do forget something, you won't get so reamed for it. (You'll still get it...but not as much).
3. She feels underappreciated: Some of the time when we kick a fit, it's because we aren't feeling validated and appreciated. There are so many things behind the scenes that we do that you guys don't even notice...and after a while we start to feel taken for granted. So the fit is just an expression of look at me, pay attention to me! Solution: Express your gratitude everyday...it might have to be a conscious effort at first---but eventually it will become a part of you. We go googoogaga when you manage to open that bottle with your big, strong arms, so throwing a little appreciation our way won't go amiss.
4. She's hormonal: I know you guys think we use this as an excuse for EVERYTHING...but graciousness, you really don't want to go through the hormones that we endure every freakin' month! It's a constant swing of estrogen today and oxytocin overload the next day. Biology shows that the hormonal changes actually happen for approximately 14 days out of the month (almost half the month man ugh!). I'm not even going to go through the 7 Dwarves of PMS but stock up on snacky foods, ice-cream and chocolate and we'll try to keep the bitchy element under control.
5. Intuition: We know deep down that you are not the one, and we aren't listening to our inner voice, instead, we punish ourselves by continuing the relationship with you and you will bear the brunt of our inner fight. Subconsciously, we push you away because we know that you are not the one, but on another level, we bring you in...we aren't ready to face the real Mr. Right.---This point was sent to me via email...get a load of that...what do you think?
   

Okay I'm leaving the rest up to you fabulous ladies...clue them in will ya? I'll amend the list as the comments roll in.
Posted by Vixen @ 2:11 PM :: 7 trainees letting it rip!

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