Monday, May 01, 2006
When You are Mad at Him
Now eventually, even the nicest, coolest guy is bound to do or say something totally insensitive or annoying. Some women can let things slide easily, however for majority of us, there are certain things that push our buttons. We erupt, explode, see red and pretty much give him hell for whatever it is.
The biggest thing to remember when you are mad is that you shouldn't fight dirty. Fighting dirty includes name-calling, making fun of, slagging and dissing him/his penis. When you are mad is not the time to remember all the 23 million things that he has done to annoy you but you never told him. Focus on the ONE issue that you are mad about, talk about it and then Let.It.Go.
If he's a smart guy, he should have figured out by now how to unruffle your feathers and get himself back into your good graces.
Venting your frustrations is a good thing to do in any relationship. You have to feel comfortable enough to let it rip and yet not cross those invisible boundaries. In your anger don't degrade or punish him with the personal stuff that he told you. Don't take the offensive, just express how you feel. Remember to use all those good communication words...I feel bad when you, I was upset when, it hurt my feelings when
Don't forget to give him direct reasons of why you are upset and what can be done to correct it in the future. Vague hints and subterfuge don't work with guys, just be direct and call it like you see it. Hopefully he will take your advice and be more thoughtful in the future. Be willing to listen to his side of the issue too, keeping in mind that there are two sides to every story. He might not have realised that it would be upsetting to you or that it would cause problems. (Yeah, they can be obtuse at times). So do communicate and accept feedback. Remember to remain rational as you present your side of the argument, even if you are reverting to the "I don't why but it really upset me
," excuse that we use oh-so-often.
My mom always told me never go to bed mad. So I tend to cope with what angers me directly rather than let it sit and fester inside. Everyone has their own different coping mechanisms however bear in mind that you do have to address the issue sooner or later, or it will become an axe waiting to drop.
Oh, and guys really HATE it when we bring up fights/arguments that happened weeks ago into the new argument. Mostly because they can't remember that far back and they claim that any past actions are inadmissable in the blame game. I know it's hard for most of us (who have the memory of an elephant) but let's try and leave past issues in the past and only deal with the current issue.
So go ahead, get mad. Just let it go and enjoy your great make-up sex:)
Posted by Vixen @ 12:15 AM ::
10 trainees letting it rip!
Talk to Me!