Friday, February 10, 2006
Q&A: Inner Radiance
One of the saddest things I've noticed as I've gotten old (and dare I say, wiser?) is women become more and more closed as they age. There's this almost naive radiance when a woman is young and has a story about what her 'man' should be. As a man, that glow to a woman is very inviting. But the naivete is something I could do with out. What I really want in a woman is one who can glow with me when the situation is right. What do you think women have to do in order to retain their radiance as they learn how not to be taken advantage of?
I think that the inner glow/radiance does actually come from within. It's the essence of a woman, her joie de vivre
, if you will. It is the way that her life experiences and attitudes have shaped her.
The reason that this fades with age is because the older ladies get, the more responsibilities they get heaped on them...family, kids, work etc. With these responsibilities, they become focused on the more mundane aspects of life and rarely have time or take time to 'stop and smell the roses'.
I also think that with age and responsibilities, they tend to compromise more and give up more pieces of themselves to others. When you give up your dreams, your hopes and your aspirations, you eventually end up a shell of yourself.
It is your dreams and aspirations that keep the glow burning. It is the attainment of those dreams that keep you happy.
Also, they do not practice good self care. Oh sure, they spend time with their loved ones, but if you do not have a consistent time set apart for YOURSELF, doing only things that YOU want to do, without any rules or others weighing in on it, well then, you are seriously shortchanging themselves.
Guys rarely if ever give up their time with their buddies, clubs, video games, sports, hobbies and such and so manage to retain a healthy and balanced life.
But because women are nurturers, givers and more flexible, they accept the demands placed upon them until they have no time for themselves.
My mom still has that glow. And I've noticed that she wakes up early 2 hours just to have time by herself doing things that she likes before the day starts. Plus, she pursued the career that she wanted, and still keeps all her hobbies and spends one on one time with her girlfriends.
It is hard to find a balance between good self care and a stable family life...but it's not impossible. Those that do achieve the balance, retain their Joy of Life...and those who allow everything else to overwhelm and swamp them turn out to be shells of their former selves.More questions Vixen, why should a woman value her radiance? How is it different from being naive? What type of men does a radiant woman attract? How can a radiant woman serve a deserving man? What is sex like between a radiant woman and deserving man? (I have to say that when I've earned a radiant woman, I happily glow as well) How does a radiant woman share her radiance with other women? Does exercise help her radiance? Anything on a woman's darkside or her animal side?
A woman should value her radiance because it's an important and crucial element of her well-being as well as a vital component of her character. I feel that everyone is born with radiance, and you either allow the experiences in your life to increase the flames or diminish it.
You can still have Joie de vivre
and not be naive, by definition, naivete is "The state or quality of being inexperienced or unsophisticated, especially in being artless, credulous, or uncritical.
" As you can see, none of these adjectives even aptly describe inner radiance. Therefore, it is quite possible to have inner radiance and street smarts (especially in this day and age). In fact, it is highly recommended that you acquire street smarts as soon as possible. I feel that people do confuse radiance with innocence, but it is not the same thing.
A radiant woman will attract all kinds of men from every single walk of life. They will be drawn to her radiance, like moth to a flame, and she just has to pick and choose which man she feels is right for her.
How can she serve a deserving man? Without reverting to the Stepford Wife archetype, I think that in this day and age it is quite possible to make your guy feel loved and appreciated on a consistent basis. There is a saying that "It's the little things that counts
" and I've found out that in relationships it truly is. Simple things like giving him a massage after a long day of work, getting tickets to a game he is wanting to see, leaving messages on his phone telling him how much you appreciate him...yeah, all that mushy romantic stuff that people don't seem to want to do anymore really do count. Yes, cooking dinner a couple of times a week, stocking your fridge with his favorite beer even though you don't like it, count as well. Do NOT however go to his house and clean it up, do his laundry, dust his bookshelves and other stupid wifey things like that. You are not his mother
. He's a grown ass man and can take care of himself. Further reading...Reciprocity
Sex between a radiant woman and a deserving man...what do you think hun? It's all that and a bag of chips. I feel that it's actually deeper and more intimate that most sex we know and talk about. It's more than the motions and the technique and more about emotions, feelings, thoughts and connectedness. It's a deeper connection on all planes, and I guess it would be pretty much out of this world.
How does a radiant woman share her radiance? She starts a blog
:) It's kind of like the light on a hill, it can't be hidden, it will naturally emanate among her peers and counterparts. Usually, when I see a radiant woman...all her gal pals glow as well. It's got to be an osmotic effect or something.
Does exercise help the radiance? Yes. As Elle Woods
would say, "Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. Happy people don't kill people." I think exercise is integral to every woman. Not just for keeping fit and staying healthy, but for increasing your sense of accomplishment and making you love your body more.
Yes, radiant people can have a dark side. In fact, if you are a balanced person, you are connected to all the elements and facets of yourself. She can be moody, angry, emotional, vengeful and run the full gamut of the human emotion. She will explore everything about herself, to the furthest domain, and in this exploration become more fully self aware. As for the animal side...well she will be a fierce she-bear protecting her loved ones, a tigress in the bedroom and a fish underwater.
I feel that a radiant woman has it all. Because she knows herself, loves herself and is happy with herself.
Labels: Ask Vixen, Girl Talk
Posted by Vixen @ 3:47 PM ::
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