Bad Girl's Guide

Monday, March 24, 2008

On Being Damaged

I was listening to Danity Kane's new single and the words brought to mind something that all women---and everyone that has ever had a crush or been in a relationship can relate to. Love is beautiful, but it's also a precarious line between heartbreak and bliss.

The baggage and wounds we carry around, from our relationships with our father all the way to the last ex that just broke our heart have the ability to taint every relationship we have and color the way we believe and deal with love. Some people don't even understand that ingrained habits that are bad for your relationship stem from your inability to let go of the past.

Sure you got your heart broken, sure he was a lying cad, and yes, maybe your dad wasn't around when you were growing up. But you are the deciding factor of where you end up, your destiny is in your hands. If you choose to channel the negative factors and energy from your past into every new relationship, then of course, you are going to end up unhappy.

Love is not just a matter of the heart. Our head and spirit comes in the mix too as well as our bodies. All of the four must be aligned for us to feel that inner peace and click.

It all comes down to knowing and loving yourself first. If you let go of the mistakes and bad choices that haunt you, dump the baggage that you carry down the creek and learn to love yourself for who you have become through all that---that's when the magic starts to happen.

How do you do this? Well for starters, stop beating yourself over the head for stuff. You are a good person, you are fabulous, you are pretty and you deserve to be treated like the queen you are. No one has permission or the ability to make you feel less than the wonderful person you are; unless you give them that power. So claim the happiness that is yours and don't take less than what you feel you deserve.

Every woman has the right to have the man in her life adore her, love her, respect her and honor her. If he's failing in any of these dimensions, then obviously he's not the right person for you. I know that it's hard to let go of someone that is kinda, sorta Mr. Right---especially when you don't see Mr. Right around the corner. But that the beauty of faith, you have to believe that what is coming is better than settling for what isn't yours.

I used to be really bad with letting go. I would hold stuff forever, loads and loads of emotional burdens, creating a fortress around my heart so much that I'm surprised that Norio was able to even cross those barriers. But the difference after the crossing is so clear that it makes the journey totally worth it.

So, to all my sistas out there that are holding back their hearts, scared that they might get broken again, have a little faith. Being damaged is not a bad thing, but allowing fear to control your destiny is. Live. Laugh. Love.


Posted by Vixen @ 7:06 AM :: 2 trainees letting it rip!

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