Wednesday, May 04, 2005
Definition: A list written when you are not in an emotional place, that has everything you would like Mr. Right4Me to have.
Ok, I'm not a great believer in lists. I believe that the brain is a fully functional organ that has the capacity to remember a thousand and one little details. However, I have great faith in the Master List. I call it the Master list because it is a fully refined list of everything that entails Mr.Right4Me.You won't know if you find what you are looking for if you don't know what you are looking for.
The best time to write your list is when you are thinking rationally and not emotionally. Put in it everything you have ever wanted in Mr. Right ever since you realized that boys were hot too. Now mark off everything that is flaky.
Flaky: Specifics like height, weight, shoe size, penis size, eye color, hair color, type of car he drives, etc. etc. Think about it, would you like a guy that was 6 feet with ____hair and ____eyes (insert your choice), that had a lousy character and treated you like shit? So anything that is not important, aka the packaging of Mr.Right4Me, scrap it off your list.
Ok, now divide your list into 2. The Must Haves and the Would Like to Have. Put the things that are super important to you in the Must Haves list, things that you cannot compromise on and the things that you would like him to have but if he didn't and he was great in every other way you would be happy in the Would Like to Have.
The Must Haves become your Master List.My Master ListOk, the list is not in order, these are all very important to me. Some are repetitive, however none are redundant.
- God-fearing: Deeply spritual, Christian. Preferably Adventist.
- Driven: Ambitious, focused
- Tons of Character: Kind, humble, virtuous and honorable. Respectful.
- Social: Friendly, nice, extrovert
- Intelligent: Knowledgeable on wide range of subjects, searches to increase knowledge.
- Professional: Succeeding and enjoying chosen career. White collar. Hardworking.
- Family Oriented
- Humanitarian: Helps others, serves community
- Humorous: Funny and fun-filled. Able to laugh at life.
- Respectable: No shady bizness, aka Drugs, guns, booze, women, smoke, gambling etc.
- Healthy: D&D free, tested for HIV and STDs
- No kids from another. No baby mama drama.
- Stimulating conversationalist
- Income higher than my own
- Supportive and inspiring
- Romantic: in thought, deed AND word.
- Loving: Capable of deep emotions. Loves me more than himself.
- Passionate about life, love and God. Respects the spiritual realm
- Good at networking
- Adores and is adored and respected by my family
- Enjoys music, the arts, activities and going out
- Knows/can learn and enjoy playing Spades.
- Respects and treats women well. This includes, mom, sisters, me and others
- Not given to irrational behavior, harsh words or deed. Not violent
- Very good at communicating his thoughts and feelings and all else
- Lover of people but very picky with his inner circle
- Can save and invest. Financially secure
- Loves all things cultural
- Can adapt, appreciate and accomodate the Nigerian community
- Has realistic expectations for me and of me and helps me to reach them.
- Computer literate
- Organized and neat
- Knows how to cook more than pasta, fried eggs and plaintain.
- Has his own place, seperate from family and friends living there
- Enjoys travelling and meeting new people
- Supports my hobbies, nurtures my talents, respects my decisions
- Fantastic dresser
- Notices and appreciative of the tiniest things
- NOT GAY, undercover, in the closet, on the down low
- NOT GAY, double check, just to be sure
- Emotional baggage from previous relationships has been dealt with and is under control.
Now, Mr. Right4Me has to score above 90%. He has to get an A. Anything less than an A will not get you past the third date. I've realized that the stuff on my Master List is the stuff that is important to me. I cannot be happy with anything else (believe me, I've tried).
So now that you have seen my Master List, go and work on yours. Feel free to tinker with the list to fit your priorities. Also, remember to update the list periodically with new things that you have learned from a relationship that just passed. (41-43 are new additions for me!)
A Baaaad Girl Must Have the Must Haves List.
Labels: Girl Talk
Posted by Vixen @ 12:37 PM ::
2 trainees letting it rip!
Talk to Me!