Bad Girl's Guide

Wednesday, May 04, 2005

Master List

Definition: A list written when you are not in an emotional place, that has everything you would like Mr. Right4Me to have.

Ok, I'm not a great believer in lists. I believe that the brain is a fully functional organ that has the capacity to remember a thousand and one little details. However, I have great faith in the Master List. I call it the Master list because it is a fully refined list of everything that entails Mr.Right4Me.

You won't know if you find what you are looking for if you don't know what you are looking for.

The best time to write your list is when you are thinking rationally and not emotionally. Put in it everything you have ever wanted in Mr. Right ever since you realized that boys were hot too. Now mark off everything that is flaky.

Flaky: Specifics like height, weight, shoe size, penis size, eye color, hair color, type of car he drives, etc. etc. Think about it, would you like a guy that was 6 feet with ____hair and ____eyes (insert your choice), that had a lousy character and treated you like shit? So anything that is not important, aka the packaging of Mr.Right4Me, scrap it off your list.

Ok, now divide your list into 2. The Must Haves and the Would Like to Have. Put the things that are super important to you in the Must Haves list, things that you cannot compromise on and the things that you would like him to have but if he didn't and he was great in every other way you would be happy in the Would Like to Have.

The Must Haves become your Master List.


My Master List
Ok, the list is not in order, these are all very important to me. Some are repetitive, however none are redundant.
  1. God-fearing: Deeply spritual, Christian. Preferably Adventist.
  2. Driven: Ambitious, focused
  3. Tons of Character: Kind, humble, virtuous and honorable. Respectful.
  4. Social: Friendly, nice, extrovert
  5. Intelligent: Knowledgeable on wide range of subjects, searches to increase knowledge.
  6. Professional: Succeeding and enjoying chosen career. White collar. Hardworking.
  7. Family Oriented
  8. Humanitarian: Helps others, serves community
  9. Humorous: Funny and fun-filled. Able to laugh at life.
  10. Respectable: No shady bizness, aka Drugs, guns, booze, women, smoke, gambling etc.
  11. Healthy: D&D free, tested for HIV and STDs
  12. No kids from another. No baby mama drama.
  13. Stimulating conversationalist
  14. Income higher than my own
  15. Supportive and inspiring
  16. Romantic: in thought, deed AND word.
  17. Loving: Capable of deep emotions. Loves me more than himself.
  18. Passionate about life, love and God. Respects the spiritual realm
  19. CHEMISTRY
  20. Good at networking
  21. Adores and is adored and respected by my family
  22. Enjoys music, the arts, activities and going out
  23. Knows/can learn and enjoy playing Spades.
  24. Respects and treats women well. This includes, mom, sisters, me and others
  25. Not given to irrational behavior, harsh words or deed. Not violent
  26. Very good at communicating his thoughts and feelings and all else
  27. Lover of people but very picky with his inner circle
  28. Can save and invest. Financially secure
  29. Loves all things cultural
  30. Can adapt, appreciate and accomodate the Nigerian community
  31. Has realistic expectations for me and of me and helps me to reach them.
  32. Computer literate
  33. Organized and neat
  34. Knows how to cook more than pasta, fried eggs and plaintain.
  35. Has his own place, seperate from family and friends living there
  36. Enjoys travelling and meeting new people
  37. Supports my hobbies, nurtures my talents, respects my decisions
  38. Fantastic dresser
  39. Notices and appreciative of the tiniest things
  40. Independent
  41. NOT GAY, undercover, in the closet, on the down low
  42. NOT GAY, double check, just to be sure
  43. Emotional baggage from previous relationships has been dealt with and is under control.

Now, Mr. Right4Me has to score above 90%. He has to get an A. Anything less than an A will not get you past the third date. I've realized that the stuff on my Master List is the stuff that is important to me. I cannot be happy with anything else (believe me, I've tried).

So now that you have seen my Master List, go and work on yours. Feel free to tinker with the list to fit your priorities. Also, remember to update the list periodically with new things that you have learned from a relationship that just passed. (41-43 are new additions for me!)

A Baaaad Girl Must Have the Must Haves List.

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