Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Patterns

I was talking to a friend of mine the other day, and she was agonizing about her dating quandry. It seems that ever since she started dating, she has pretty much ended up with varying shades of the same man, aka the Jobless, hopeless scrub. He might not have started out Jobless, but he gradually morphed into one. She was agonizing over the fact that she seemed to attract only those guys throughout the past 7 years that she's been dating.

Of course, being the controversial soul that I am, I simply had to disagree with her. My outlook was that you choose the kind of men you are attracted to and that pattern is somehow imbedded in you from childhood. Your expectations and feelings of what love is is gotten from your first contact with love...aka, your parents and it is from their actions that you base your core beliefs upon.

We tend to date guys that are either dramatically different from our father figures or quite similar to them. Different because we had a bad relationship with Dad or he treated Mom quite shoddily or similar because he is the best male figure you know and admire.

It's upon knowing what our patterns are that we can make the changes necessary to avoid the Mr. Unavailables and finally find the man that is right for us.

Examining the last bunch of horrible men you dated, what patterns can you come up with?

Labels: Dating

Posted by Vixen @ 11:03 PM :: 12 trainees letting it rip!

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