Bad Girl's Guide

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Narcissisme

Definition: Narcissisme (french) actually means self love. Webster's defines self love as "The instinct or desire to promote one's own well-being; regard for or love of one's self." This isn't talking about conceit or pride, but rather, the type of love that helps you reach Self Actualization."

Self love is crucial to any human looking for their 'other half'. Many people try to find love from an external source, ie from others; because they are unable to fully love themselves. They love because they are looking for someone to love them as well. This love is strictly conditional and based on reciprocation, and often fades faster than you can say Rumplestilskin. Any love that needs constant external validation and reciprocity hasn't reached the depth of true love yet. If your need of being indispensable and significant is the driving force behind you seeking love, than you aren't ready for true love yet. What you are is emotionally needy, which isn't necessarily a bad thing, but should stop being mixed up with true love.

True love should not be the thing that completes you, you should be happy in your life with or without it. True love should be like the icing on the cake, you have everything else you need to make you fully happy, friends, family, work, hobbies etc and can be fine with or without it.

Once again, it all starts from childhood. If we were rejected in any way by our parents, that can in some way affect the way you view love. You might feel that you aren't worthy of true love, and end up rejecting true love in favor of the shallow relationships and elusive Mr. Unavailables just to save yourself from future rejection. If you hate yourself, are angry for past actions or have negative layers that seeth in you in a cauldron of pain, grief, abandonment and despair, it's hard to open up to true love. Often we construct barriers to protect ourselves from ever going through the hurt and heartbreak again. All these just hinder true love.

When you achieve Narcissisme, only then can you truly open your heart to fully loving someone else. Inner peace, inner love, inner happiness, all of these are ingrediants for narcissisme. We only love as much as we think we deserve to be loved, and the more you love yourself, the more love you are capable of sharing.

In summation, Baaad Girls love deeply because they love themselves deeply.

Your thoughts? Go easy on me now:)

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