Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Letting Go of Toxic Women.
I'm all about the Sisterhood, but not everyone in the Sisterhood is a true member and not every woman should be your friend. I got a question from a reader the other day that just verified that belief.
I've just cut my 'girlfriends' out of my life. Part of me misses the good times I had with "the girls" but I just can't see being involved anymore with women who have this many issues...there has to be other women I can hang out with. The issues range from divorce, fidelity, cheating, sleeping with another man and office gossip. We rarely if ever talk about anything positive or progressive.
So lately I don't really talk to them on non-work related issues, and if so it's very limited. I make my own weekend plans, and I do not spend every lunch break eating with them. I've noticed they won't go out of their way to make plans with me, and all of the attention goes to the one that has the most drama that day/week. I really would like to introduce them to new things and people but it doesn't seem to happen and I don't want the whole world in my business.
Is it cool to handle it like this? Or am I just being too standoffish to my old "girls"? Should I kill these "friendships"?
You followed your gut and your intuition on this---and it's a very good thing. These women are too caught up in their own drama to even realize that they are sabotaging the very relationships that they are bitching about. There is a saying that goes, "Show me your friends and I will show you who you are
," and from what I know about you, it doesn't sound like this is the type of woman you are.
You have a man that adores you and you love him as well. Instead of sitting with these women as they spread their toxicity to you and your relationship, follow your heart and step back from them. There is no way that some of that won't wash over you.
My mom back in the day loved watching soap operas. She never missed an episode of General Hospital and Young & the Restless. It wasn't until she started talking to her friends flipping out that maybe my dad was cheating because he came home late one day that she realized how far her obsession with stories had infiltrated into her relationship. She had to cut that out of her life instantly and realize what a great guy she had.
You do get influenced by your friends, and it sounds like they are a wannabe Sex & the City bunch. I would talk to them and let them know that you can't be friends anymore. Although as dramatic as they are---they would probably create a whole segue around you. You did the right thing hun, go find friends that love life and edify you. Find the ones without the constant foolish drama. It's okay to cut toxic people out of your life. In fact, it's good self care.
Other reading: Toxic Friendships
Labels: Ask Vixen, Girl Talk, Office Drama
Posted by Vixen @ 12:49 AM ::
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Tuesday, June 24, 2008
1. Do you believe anyone truly likes their job? I do, so I think other people must too. In fact, I love my job. It's satisfying going home at the end of the day knowing that you've helped someone to make their life and illness a bit better.
2. Do you 1) live to work or 2) work to live 3) not see a difference? Ugh, I'd rather just work to play. Living to work to a workaholics dream and working to live is someone drowning in bills. Me---I work to play and travel and do fun things. I work to Play.
3. How many hours do you work a week? 30-40, depending on how I'm feeling any given week. I go through moments where I want to work alot, and then moments when I just laze around all day long.
4. What was your safety item (i.e. blankie) from when you were little? A book. Any good book would do it for me.
5. Have you ever used food during sex? Yes. The latest thing I used was brownies. Mmmm, delish!
Bonus (as in optional):What is your guilty food pleasure? Cheesecake. Just a regular, run of the mill New York original style cheesecake, no frills or ruffles. Now I'm hungry.
Labels: Hot Seat Tuesday
Posted by Vixen @ 1:09 AM ::
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Tuesday, June 17, 2008
1. What's your favorite color of lingerie? RED! It just looks soooo good against my dark skin. Makes me feel luminescent!
2. Do you have a porn collection? Ummmm, no. Not really. I have some clips on my phone from my private starring role porn collection...lol. So I guess that's a yes.
3. Do you have any fetishes? Hell yeah, don't we all? What are they? Well, I can't let you all in all my secrets!
4. What is your favorite place to have sex? Outside. I'm such a exhibitionist.
5. Do you like to scratch, bite, pull hair, etc? Do you like having it done to you? Hell yeah, all of the above. And I like it all, I can take as good as I give.
Join the ring HERE.
Labels: Hot Seat Tuesday
Posted by Vixen @ 8:06 PM ::
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Sunday, June 15, 2008
When Your Guy is Stingy
I have a boyfriend, who I have been dating for a few months. He is 26 and I'm 23. Once upon a time he use to be a 'player'. He hopped from chick to chick. He also use to trick money. He used to spend a ton of money on chicks. He'd take them shopping, out to dinners, on trips the works. Now that he's with me, he hardly spends any money. He hasn't bought me a gift at all. We go out and I feel like its my duty to pay for a dinner or pay some of it. And I don't mind paying for stuff, but not all the time. He has a job and makes a ton of cash. I don't make hardly anything compared to him. But in addition to all the other stuff, I cook for him. I have taken him out to lunch on his lunch breaks. I bought him a few thinking of you gifts- cds, books. Little things like that.
I feel maybe because I am so giving that I give out a flaming red flag to be taken advantage of or what? But its like, I want to be treated like I treat him. I don't want to change my generous nature because he's so cheap. Hope this helps. Seriously some advice is so necessary. Thanks!!!! Also, my parents have a lot of money and they help me out. Maybe he assumes that i just have tons of cash from them that i need nothing from him. I'm just trying to get him to stop being so stingy and be more generous. I'd like a few gifts every now and then. That's all. I don't want to sound like a gold digger by far, but if I do then I'm sorry. I'm just trying to get him to come off the cash a little.
Wow. Just wow. After sorting through all that, I figure that this guy is not as into you as you are into him. I don't know if you are missing the obvious clues or leaving them out, but he's not courting you at all. You are the only one making all the effort, you take him out, buy him presents and pay on dates. It's like you have switched roles in this whole thing and he's enjoying the status quo. You set the tone however, so this is your shit to clean up.
It's not about the money. It really isn't. It's about the lack of foresight he's taking into garnering your attention and affection. He doesn't have to do anything at all but show up and you are treating him like he's a prince among men. Which isn't wrong, it's just that you are too intense for his level of committment. Your attentions must match his level of committment or you are just setting yourself up for heartbreak.
You are waaaaay too into this guy, I get that. I also get the sense from you that since he used to be a player, you are doing everything in your power to get him in your corner and away from other girls. You are bending over backwards trying to keep him from straying. This is a huge glaring error on your part, because if a guy is going to cheat, he will cheat, regardless of how good you treat him.
Also there is a level of insecurity and desperation in your actions, and by throwing all this cash around (THAT YOU DON'T HAVE!!!) you are trying to buy his affection. The truth is that he's not that into you. He loves the presents and attention, but he doesn't have feelings for you. The women that he has feelings for---those are the ones getting the presents and dates, those are the ones that he's making an effort to see and get to know better. With you he's just coasting by and taking advantage. You aren't the only person been here, so don't feel so bad. Even I've been through a similar scenario in my youth, which is why I know the clues so well.
My advice, move on. You are young, pretty and have it going on, so stop settling for this guy that isn't all about you. And stop spending your parent's money (which they are giving you for your education) on some stupid guy. He's not worth it. It's okay to put your heart there and go for the guy you want, but when the guy you want is giving you clues that you aren't the girl he wants, then stack your chips and get the hell out.
Labels: Dating, Girl Talk
Posted by Vixen @ 6:05 AM ::
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Thursday, June 12, 2008
When He Doesn't Want You to Spend Time With His Kids
I'm not sure what to do about my current boyfriend of one year. He is 36 years old with two children; a daughter 3 years old and a son 14 years old. He has also previously been married to his daughter's mother and shares joint custody of both his son and his daughter. I am 28 years old with no children and have never been married.
My boyfriend is an awesome, dedicated, responsible father. He also is very dedicated to family, and took two of his nieces under his wing as his daughters seeing as though they have no father figures in their lives. He spends countless hours coaching, going to plays, concerts, vacations, having sleepovers at his house, etc..doing what he is supposed to do as a father and I respect that. He makes sure that his kids spend the majority of their nights in his home as opposed to their mothers, and he often tells me that he does everything for all the kids and his nieces and it's hard being a single parent.
My issue is, he doesn't involve me in anything to do with his children or his family. I've had brief encounters with them and his son knows who I am, but nothing more. He says he will not subject his children to seeing him around me because children become attached and if things don't work out he'll have to explain that to them. His sister and his parents ask about me but I have never met them. He also never invites me into his home. I feel as if he has one life for children, family and friends..then a totally separate life for me. I don't appreciate this because we are not in the first few months of this relationship anymore, we are 13 months in. He spends time with me in my home, he has hung out with me and my friends, my parents ask about him and for him all the time, and I love having him in my life. I make it a point to do whatever, whenever for him and I "take the back seat" often times for the sake of respecting his life. However I just feel like something isn't right. I don't doubt that he is a good man, because he is respectful of women, he doesn't associate with certain people or hang out in certain places, and he is educated, well known in his community and he is a Mason. He also has expressed to me how he feels about me and compliments me to no end. My friends think I'm a lucky woman and we can't keep our hands off of each other when we spend time.
However, am I wrong for wanting to go on dates with my man, and spend nights at his house? Am I supposed to back off and take a backseat until all of his children are grown? I feel like I can never make plans with him or expect him to do much more for me past sex, and eating my food when I cook or hanging out on the couch at my apartment. I want the traditional relationship that I feel I deserve. I want conversations, and when I call he often feels as if I am "nagging" him because I want to express how I feel.
Should I take a loss with this one and split? Or work on it? It's been over a year and I really like this man!
Okay hun this is going to hurt---chillax! Chill the fuck out! It's not a problem that he's not bringing you around his kids, it's a BLESSING! It shows that first of all, he's a good father that doesn't want to expose his children to the revolving door that dating can be, and that he's prioritizing them as he should. In addition, he's showing that he respects your relationship and wants it to grow normally without external factors aka drama ville and playing the Stepmom. There will be time in the future for that, but right now, you should be glad he's not using you as a built in babysitter.
You get to savor the time spent with your man one on one without kids in the background demanding his attention. This is a bonus~~trust me! You can walk around naked or in your sexy underthings and throw down in the living room, washing machine and kitchen whenever your heart desires. There aren't toys and stuff laying all around and you aren't fighting for his attention when he's with you.
Now about him taking you to meet the parents, that is something that he probably isn't comfortable with yet. There is no time line for meeting the parents, once again it's not something that should be rushed. It could be that his parents are attached to his ex and he doesn't want to expose you to the censure. He could be trying to ease things slowly and get them used to the idea that he's seeing someone else. It could also be that his family are from the old school, and meeting the parents is a declaration that he wants to marry you. Perhaps that's a step that he's not ready for yet, and doesn't want the added pressure from his parents. This is not something that should break your relationship..in fact, it shows that he doesn't need approval from his family to be with a woman that he loves. Another good sign.
I sense that your greatest fear is that you are like his secret girlfriend, the one he sees on the side that noone knows about. This is a legitimate concern, but he's already introduced you to his son. He wouldn't have done that if he was hiding you (trust me kids talk!) And he's talked about you to his family already. Another good sign.
His ex might be the baby mama from hell who tortures any woman that comes around him or her kid. She might have the mentality of "If he won't have me, then he can't have anyone", and experience might have shown him that it's better to keep it separate, for your safety and his peace of mind.
He doesn't sound like the shady sort. He doesn't sound like he's not into you---in fact, he carves time out of his busy life to spend time exclusively with you. These are all good things. Due to all the responsibilities and obligations that he has, it sounds like he's dealing with them quite well, and I sense that you actually respect that about him.
The main thing that I can advise is that you tell him that you would like to spend more time with him. Acknowledge that you love his company and although you don't mind taking the backseat once in a while, it's important for you to feel like you have a man in your life as well. Put your emotions and needs in the forefront of this conversation. He's so used to putting everyone else first and you are falling probably into 4th or 5th place. Tell him you want to have a date night once a week, and another day that is exclusively just you. You aren't asking for too much by telling him that you want more attention.
Other tips for carving time out would be to go for the coaching games, since he spends so many hours there, and be his own personal cheerleader (don't forget to wear a cute outfit). Although his mind will be at the game, you get to be close to him, and this might be a good way to meet more people in his life in an informal setting aka his friends and family. Take a good book or magazine in case it gets boring and you don't even have to stay for the whole thing. Just your presence for a few minutes there is enough to get the message across. Find something that both of you do together. Since he seems to be active, find a couple sport like tennis or take hikes together. You don't have to limit yourself to waiting for his schedule to fit you in. Call him up, ask for his availability that week and plan something fun. Even if it's just a picnic, at least it's something new that you two are doing together.
He sounds like he's a great guy and I would hate for you to lose him because you are hung up over issues that aren't a big deal. Just relax, take initiative in how you spend time with him, and don't be in such a rush to meet everyone. It will happen when it happens and just make sure that whoever you meet, you remain your gracious, respectful self, and it will all be good.
Labels: Baby Mama Drama, Relationship issues
Posted by Vixen @ 12:27 AM ::
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Tuesday, June 10, 2008
1. If you're in love with your partner, does it make the sex better? Hell yeah. Sex without love is just basic, even animals do that. But making love is something on an elementally spiritual level that just connects you.
2. What is the most expensive sex toy you've ever purchased? I got this wicked bullet with 10 speeds and vibes. It was absolutely delightful, the dude at the sex shop was like WHOA when he was testing it out. It took 6 AA batteries, definitely not a lightweight. Unfortch it just died a few weeks ago so I have to go hunting for a replacement. It was $79.99.
3. If you knew ahead of time you would not have an orgasm, would you still have sex? Yes. But that's an improbability for me cause I orgasm pretty quickly with the right stimuli. It's happened that I didn't, but that was because I was drugged out on pain meds.
4. What celebrity would you most like to have sex with if given the chance? Hmmm, have to give some thought to that. I don't think any celebrity can exceed the lover I have right now, I don't mean to boast but dayum! So I pretty much don't need the fantasy, I have the reality.
5. Have you ever had sex while an audience watched? No, but I would like to.
Bonus (as in optional): Describe the best sexual encounter you've ever had. I actually have a list of my top 20. Here ya go...freaks! NSFW, MATURE EXPLICIT CONTENT IF YOU CLICK ON THOSE LINKS. YOU'VE BEEN WARNED!!!
Posted by Vixen @ 11:11 AM ::
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Monday, June 09, 2008
Okay darlings, throw me a few questions for this week. It could be on anything, from relationships to friendships to family issues. Guys, feel free to chime in too. I only have one in my inbox pending, and so I love your input.
Email me at vixentales at gmail.
Posted by Vixen @ 2:41 AM ::
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Thursday, June 05, 2008
Why Does He Want Someone Else and Not Me?
I am in the midst of a weird, dysfunctional relationship with a guy I met 2.5 years ago while he was in a long term relationship. We slowly became friends and then progressed to having an affair. After a year, I started pressuring him, and he kept telling me that it was too hard to end a long term relationship. I should have walked away then, but I didn’t. Instead, they broke up, and I thought that we would have our chance, but he started dating someone else.
He told me that it was too soon after his long term relationship to start anything with me, yet he was able to start dating someone else almost immediately after. All the while, he is telling me I am his best friend and his soul mate and he can't not have me in his life.
I am having a VERY HARD time getting over him. Almost as if, if I can’t "get" this guy, I will never find another guy that I have that much chemistry with. I think that is why I am holding on to something not worth holding on to. I CANNOT seem to get over the fact that he chose this other girl. I think about it all the time, analyzing it and driving myself crazy. In a recent post by NML, she states that "pulling back, the inconsistent behaviour, and the lack of action suggest the makings of a man who is emotionally unavailable".
But why me? I mean, I understand that he is probably emotionally unavailable with his gf, but how was he able to take action with her? And continue to do so and care enough to get back together repeatedly (they broke up twice)? How can I possibly not take it personally when it was just me that he didn’t and doesn’t want to be in a real relationship with? If he was truly emotionally unavailable, then wouldn’t he treat every other girl the way he has treated me? What makes someone girlfriend material and what makes someone other woman or fall back girl material?
Is it only really because I allowed him to be? I know in the grand scheme of things, none of it matters, and I need to stop analyzing, but I cannot get this out of my head. I have accepted everything else for what it is, but I CANNOT get past this "why her and not me" thing. Everyone tells me "it's not you, it's him", but if he can be with other people, then it is "me". Please help!
Truthfully, it's both of you. He's an asshole treating you like shit, and you are a doormat allowing him to wipe his feet all over you. This guy--he's not prize material. Not only is he totally emotionally unavailable, he's a cheat. Then on top of that, he's an emotionally detached cheat that wants to have his cake and eat it too.
The whole "you are my best friend," line that he's feeding you is just crumbs so that he can still keep you in the picture. You are feeding his ego by clinging to him even though he's shown you repeatedly that you aren't a priority to him. You were his booty call mistress. He used you to get excitement and drama in his existing relationship. He used your emotions to get validation of his sexual prowess and his manhood. It's sad that you got emotionally involved with him and got caught up in his machinations.
I get that you are feeling hurt, used and abused. I get that you are wanting a reason that he could be with another girl and not you. The truth is that you should be dancing on the rooftops celebrating that his asshole is out of your life. This girl that he's with, she's getting the picture that he's no prize either, that's why she keeps up breaking up with him. However, he must have both of you dickmotized to stay dealing with his drama and bullshit.
Why her and not you? Why does it matter? It's her and not you because you had started to see him for the lying dickweed that he was and you were trying to better yourself. It's her and not you because she's in the same needy, pathetic place that you were when you started up with him and he's taking full advantage of that. It's her and not you because the mirage has lifted for you and you see him in all his ugly manipulative colors. It's her and not you because she's another unsuspecting girl that will feed his ego and make him feel good. It's her and not you because he has history with you and with her it was a clean slate for him to recreate himself as Mr. Lover. It's her and not you because she's a sucker and you are not. Soon she too will see him for the jerk he is (hopefully sooner rather than later).
Too much of your life has been wasted on this guy already. TOO MUCH. It's time to reclaim your life and learn to love yourself. If you don't love yourself, you will just be caught up in another one of these situations a few months down the road. Take a break from men and instead foster ways to build up your self esteem and your self image. You are a fabulous woman, but you don't realize it. And if you don't realize it then the men that you consort with will keep treating you like crap and you will keep accepting shit from them.
Get yourself in order girl. That's the only way to overcome this madness. Good luck.
Labels: Ask Vixen, Break Ups
Posted by Vixen @ 1:21 AM ::
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Wednesday, June 04, 2008
When You Say the Wrong Thing
My new boyfriend and I have been dating for a couple days now. He came into the relationship by telling me his intentions very clearly so that if that wasn’t what I was looking for I could move one. Marriage and a family is what he's looking for now at this point of his life and so am I.
Just some background: We both came out of long term relationships at the end of last year (his was longer than mine). We’ve always known of each other for the last 8-9 years but also never really knew each other. We were often in the same circles and always said hi and that would be it until the next time we crossed paths.
We were in the talking phase for a little over a month before we decided to move forward into a relationship. Dating was very awkward at first because we haven’t dated outside of our past relationships in years. On our first date we were both very nervous so we hardly spoke, played with our food and had a lot of awkward silent moments, before the evening ended we both apologized for the awkwardness and blamed it on not having done this in so long that we may have forgotten how to.
Well since that first date we have been inseparable. We love being around each other and doing things together. I have met his parents and from what he said they loved me, he hasn’t meet my mother yet (she’s very active and wont sit still for 5 minutes).
I really like him and he says he feels the same and we both hope this great feeling isn’t just a phase. Now I want to know how do I keep from messing this up. I have already said a few wrong things (I tend to speak without thinking and have said a few things that made him look at me like he couldn’t believe what was coming out of my mouth).
For starters, I think you two are hitting fast forward on the relationship. It's okay to know where you want the relationship to go, but the truth of the matter is that it's better to enjoy the journey and not just race to the destination. You've only been seeing him a few days/weeks and you are already meeting the parents? In a hurry much?
Slow it down.
Spend time with each other to get to know each other. Ease out of that awkward phase (which is normal btw), naturally into a true friendship. You barely know him and you are already talking about marriage. Doesn't this strike you as a red flag? Personally I would like to be proposed to because he wants to spend the rest of his life with me and not because he's trying to fit me into his "marriage and kids" timeline.
Another concern for me is that you both just got out of long intense relationships a few months ago. Have you really given yourself enough time to heal and get over the ex before rushing into Mr. Next? It's easy to want to replace the feelings of closeness you had with your ex with someone else right away, loneliness sucks. I'm not calling this a rebound thing but if the shoe fits...it's just something to think about.
The basic cornerstones of any relationship are as follows.
- Being Yourself
I don't know what tactless thing you said to him that has you all in a tizzy, but if you aren't comfortable being yourself in this relationship, then I don't think it's the right fit for you. I'm totally tactless---I've always been the type to just gush what's on my mind. However it took a few revolving relationships to realize that it's just a part of me that I have to deal with. I've accepted that side of myself as a part of me, and so I expect my significant other to do the same. When I do put my foot in my mouth, I apologize for it and move on. It's not the end of the world to say the wrong thing at the wrong time---there is much worse going on in the world to make that a Great Event. If you don't make a big deal out of it, then hopefully he'll take the cue from you and not make a big deal out of it either.
Just think about these points. I'm glad that you've found someone that you connect with, but make sure that both of you are in it for the right reasons. And slow down, it's not a race to the altar, let things fall naturally. You both are putting too much pressure on each other and the relationship to be perfect, and the reality is that life isn't perfect. But the beauty of love is that if it's true and the real thing, it will shine through no matter what hurdles you encounter and what thoughtless things to say. So slow your roll baby girl and relax.
Labels: Dating, Marriage, Relationship issues
Posted by Vixen @ 12:48 AM ::
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Tuesday, June 03, 2008
1. Is there a TV show you HAVE to watch? If so, what is it? Yes, it's HOUSE. He's the best worst doctor ever. I wish most medical professionals were that 'real'.
2. What is you favorite drink if you are going to drink more than one? A cranberry vodka or hard lemonade. Give me too of those and I'm loose. I'm a total lightweight.
3. How long do you carry guilt around with you? Long enough to drive me nuts. Usually a few weeks, then I move on to learning from it. My mom is incredible at beating the guilt stick. No one else can have me feeling as guilty as she does.
4. Where is or would be your number one romantic get away spot? Anywhere with a nice, sunny tropical beach. And a bed. I'm not that picky.
5. Have you ever seen a counselor? Yes of course. Hasn't everyone?
Bonus (as in optional): Last summer the Archives of Sexual Behavior the 237 reasons people have sex and the Top 50 Reasons Men and Women Have Sex. What are your top 5 reasons?
- I want Intimacy
- I'm Horny
- Can't sleep
- I'm cold
- It's that week in my cycle that makes me super freaky.
Labels: Hot Seat Tuesday
Posted by Vixen @ 4:17 AM ::
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Sunday, June 01, 2008
The Bad Girl Anthem
This post is dedicated to UKD, who wants to know what are the main things that a Bad Girl stands for and what she doesn't accept.
As a Bad Girl, I acknowledge that I'm a woman that knows what I want out of life. I want to have the best of everything, my dreams and aspirations are merely stepping stones to the level of my greatness. I don't rely on anyone for support, everything I want and need is taken care of by yours truly including the $400 pair of Louboutins that I will buy one day. My job pays my bills, and I'm taking steps to further my career path. I know that self care is important to good health and happiness and I engage is good self care. I don't want to settle for the mediocre life. I want to be extraordinary. I want to be great.
As a Bad Girl, I know that good friends are the pillars that hold me afloat. I hold the Sisterhood in great regard and will do anything for my girls as they will for me. I would not violate the rules of the Sisterhood in any way. My friends are loyal, true and have heart, and they guide me to avoid the pitfalls of bad decisions and bad men. My social life is full of activities that keep me interesting and lively. My hobbies are scintillating and I do one fabulous thing for myself each day.
As a Bad Girl, I know that I don't need a man to fulfill my life or validate my self worth. My life is quite satisfying as it is and my self esteem is rock solid and high. However, I do consider that a good man is like the cherry on top of an already delicious ice cream sundae. I know that I'm a phenomenal woman and deserve to have a good man in my life that treats me well. Anything less than that is unacceptable and will be thrown out of my life immediately especially anything even remotely resembling a Mr. Unavailable or any of the men on this list.
As a Bad Girl, I know that I'm not perfect and may have made mistakes or have regrets about the past. However, I refuse to beat myself over the head about it and I've learned from each one of my mistakes. I've dealt with or am dealing with my 'issues' and hangups about my childhood, growing up or the past and have learned to move on past it. I have and will let go of all my baggage.
As a Bad Girl, I have faith and belief in something greater than myself. I believe in the inherant goodness all around me and find beauty in aspects of everyday, whether it's the sun on my face or loud girl power music blaring from the radio. I connect with my soul on the regular, and know that whatever higher power I believe in is out there looking out for me.
As a Bad Girl, I know the power that rests between my legs. I know that whoever I choose to allow to enter is by my choice under my terms. I know what I want in the bedroom and I will put my needs as well as my lovers on the table. I love sex and I love everything about the boudoir. I strive to make myself the best possible freak that I can, learning new ways and new things to please both myself and my lover. I own a fully operational battery powered vibrator for use when I'm weaning myself from dickmotosis, or when I'm just plain horny.
As a Bad Girl, I know that it's my responsibility to help out other women into developing and becoming Bad Girls in their own right through mentoring, volunteering and advising others. I know that it's better to learn from someone else's mistakes than to learn from the pain of your own so I share my stories and wisdom with other women.
Okay, that's my anthem. What have you learned from the Bad Girls Guide or what would you add on here?
Labels: Girl Talk
Posted by Vixen @ 2:32 AM ::
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Review: Indiana Jones, the Adventure Collection
Although I love Indy movies, this new Adventure collection seemed like a regurgitated DVD set with a few extra nibbles. There wasn't much in the extras that was worth paying close to $40 bucks for it, considering that the widescreen DVD set was much better and included the 2 hour documentary on making the film. The extras here just seemed like stuff left on the cutting room floor that George Lucas & co decided to shell together in time for the 4th movie release. I get that the re-release allows younger fans (like my stepson) to catch up on the Indie franchise, but they should have just re-released the original collection with all the stuff plus these extras. Now that would have made it worth it.
On the Raiders of the Lost Ark disc there is an "Introduction" that features Lucas and Spielberg talking about the genesis of the film. Spielberg wanted to do a globe-trotting James Bond-type story and Lucas introduced the idea of an archaeologist. They both agreed that they wanted to pay homage to the old 1930s cliffhanger sequels. "Indiana Jones:
An Appreciation" was done on the set of the new Indy film as Lucas, Spielberg, Harrison Ford, and Karen Allen reflect on the character and the trilogy - its impact on them and popular culture. Cast and crew from the new film also give their impressions and everyone recounts their favourite scene from the trilogy.
"The Melting Face" takes a look at how they pulled off the climactic scene when the Ark is opened and Toht's face melts. The effects artists who did it take us through the process and there is vintage footage of it being done.
"Storyboard: The Well of the Souls" shows illustrations from this sequence with footage from the film to show how close the two match. There are "Galleries" that feature character sketches, props, behind-the-scenes photographs taken on the set, effects shots, like Matte paintings, and models used, various designs for the film's logo, and finally, posters from all over the world. The Temple of Doom disc features an
"Introduction" by Lucas and Spielberg. The director says that he had always wanted to make a trilogy of films and Lucas wanted this one to be darker and edgier, like The Empire Strikes Back (1980). They admit that Temple of Doom got terrible reviews but at least Spielberg met his wife on that one - Kate Capshaw.
"The Creepy Crawlies" examines how each film has some creepy element to it: Raiders with snakes, Temple of Doom with bugs, and the Last Crusade with rats. There are segments from each film are shown with a trivia track option. "Travel with Indy: Locations" examines the various exotic locales seen throughout the films. We see how Hawaii doubled for South America and so on. This featurette can also be viewed with an optional trivia track. Associate producer Robert Watts takes us through key locations while dishing production anecdotes.
"Storyboards: The Mine Car Chase" allows you to view the illustrations for this sequence along with the actual scene from the film. The
"Galleries" section is identical to the one on the Raiders disc only pertaining to Temple of Doom. The Last Crusade disc starts off with yet another "Introduction" where Spielberg admits that he wasn't crazy about the idea of the Holy Grail and suggested using it as a metaphor for the father-son relationship between Indy and his father. Lucas and Spielberg talk about the casting of Sean Connery and what he brought to the role.
Easily the most entertaining and engaging extra of the entire set is "Indy's Women: The American Film Institute Tribute" reunites the leading ladies from each film: Karen Allen, Kate Capshaw and Alison Doody. They talk about their characters and working with Spielberg. They all look great and speak candidly about their experiences. In particular, Capshaw and Doody talk about the reaction to their characters.
"Indy's Friends and Enemies" takes a look at the sidekicks, love interests, and villains in the trilogy. Spielberg speaks admiringly of the leading ladies and the strengths of each character. This featurette also explores the role sidekicks and villains play in the film with plenty of clips.
"Storyboards: The Opening Sequence" shows the sketches for the film's exciting opening action sequence with a young Indy (Phoenix) alongside the actual scene in the film.
Finally, the "Galleries" features a nice collection of snapshots from various aspects of the film like the galleries on the other discs.
The extras on these discs are well done and interesting to watch but do not warrant you double-dipping unless you are a hardcore fan that MUST have everything. If this is the first time buying the Indy films and you don't know which set to get, purchase the first one because each film does not share disc space with extras and for the two-hour making of documentary which is superior to all of the extras on this new set combined.
Posted by Vixen @ 1:51 AM ::
0 trainees letting it rip!
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