Bad Girl's Guide

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

True Hook Up Confessions

I recently stumbled on this site, True Hoook Up Confessions, that allows us to get all those crazy, dirty secrets off our chests in a totally anonymous fashion. Think of it as the Post Secret for relationships, the site is fun, easy to use and there are already a bunch of secrets on there.

Some of them are so out of this world that I can't believe someone would do, but there are some that are you can totally relate to. There is a comments section to sound off on the secrets that you identify with or give some feedback. The whole site is fun and easy to use, and it looks great too.

It's about time someone thought about this, I mean, everyone has a relationship secret in the past, present or future that you are dying to dish about but don't want anyone to know it's you.

So give it a whirl right here. I already turned in my secret;)

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Tuesday, February 26, 2008

TMI Tuesday

1. What can you consider as the greatest thing you've ever done for/ to yourself? Choosing nursing over any other career in college. I was born to be a nurse...and the job satisfaction is out of this world.

2. What/ Which part of your life you think you could have done better and why? Probably my early twenties. I was in the explorative phase and I tried to live with no boundaries. But sometimes boundaries are there for a reason!

3. Do you have that one person whom you consider to be the wind beneath your wings? It would have to be Norio. He's the loudest cheer leader ever...lol

4. Tell us about your longest relationship. This is my longest relationship! I had such a short half life, most relationships went kaput before a year. This is heading on 3 and still better than ever.

5. In a relationship, when do you get to that point of enough is enough? It varies to each individual. For me, I would have to have a long period of being unhappy in the relationship and feeling like my needs weren't met or that he was a totally selfish prick. The main thing is happiness, if I have that then it's all gravy baby.

Bonus (as in optional):What is that one intimate moment with someone you miss so much and what are you willing to risk to have another moment of it. ;) This is so bizarre, but a few weeks ago, Norio and I had this fight that I got so pissed I opened the car and jumped out. He drove off in a fit of anger and I started walking home but then decided not to go home for a while ---I was so livid! I thought he would just go home and go and start playing video games or something. It turned out that while I was spending the next 3 hours morosely pining around town (I'm soooo dramatic!) he was searching all over the place for me, calling all my friends/family and everything (he had tried my cell but the battery had died!). He was so worried, I really hadn't thought he would be that worried! He searched for me for hours and found me later in Starbucks, and the reunion was so sweet. I think that was a totally intimate moment, the realization that he looked for me until he found me.

Now it's your turn. Happy TMI Tuesday!

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Tuesday, February 19, 2008

TMI Tuesday



1. Would you stay in a relationship with an physically unfaithful partner? Oh hell to the no! Someone is gonna end up cut. I think this is one of those instances that my crazy, psycho self would come out.
2. Would you stay in a relationship with an emotionally unfaithful partner? That's even worse. I had this happen to a friend of mine and it totally devastated her. I don't think I would be able to stay, on some level, I would always wonder if there was the option of the guy jumping to the physical part as well.
3. On a scale of 1-10, how important is the recognition of birthdays to you (your's, a friend's, a partner's)? Not that important. Probably a 3. I'm really bad about birthdays---they were always low-key growing up so I haven't adapted to making a big deal out of them. Also my last few birthdays I've been in the hospital sick, sharing birthday cake with nurses is not that fun. I did make a huge deal out of Norio's birthday last year...maybe there is hope for me after all.
4. When you have a "toe-curling" orgasm, do your does curl up, or down? Hmmm, I don't even know. I'm too busy singing the Hallelujah chorus.
5. Every one has a pet peeve, tell me one of yours. Chauvinism, stupid people and men that drive like lil bitches.

Feel free to do these and elaborate. Happy TMI Tuesday!

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Monday, February 18, 2008

When He Can't Stay Hard

I have been a fan of your site for quite a while now and was hoping that you could help me and my long term boyfriend with our problem. I have been in a relationship with this young man for 7 years. He was sexually experienced when I met him but I was a virgin when we began dating. He was my first sexual experience and I thought the sex would get better with time – I was so wrong. In the beginning we would have sex like rabbits – sometimes 5 and 6 times a day and now we have sex maybe twice and then I have not gotten off either time. I really love him – if not for this one problem I would be so good to go. He has proposed to me like three times and I want to accept but I can’t see marrying someone who does nothing for me sexually. To further complicate things I am 25 and he is 26, if he can’t satisfy me now how is it going to be in 15 years when I’m in my peak? The problem seems to be that he can’t keep an erection – to be frank it being a two minute man might be an improvement! I don’t know what to do and he knows it’s a problem but he thinks something is medically wrong. Do you have any suggestions?

Hells bells, I don't even know where to start with this. First of all, it sounds to me that although your guy has some probs in the boudoir, he is keeping you happy in every other sphere of your relationship. So props to him. Sex is VERY important to me; and I know it is to alot of people out there. Some others however, can have a very solid and happy relationship without it--but honey, you don't sound like one of them.

For most people, our young 20s was a period of exploration and development in the sexual arena. However, you two have skipped that whole period entirely and I think that's affecting your sex life. I think you should both learn together and be adventurous together. I think having the same sex for 7 years does turn bland after a while and this sounds more like the problem that the duration of his erection. Both of you are treating sex like an obligation, and that does decrease the passion.

Most men are capable of controlling the pace of their orgasm, and for having sex 5-6 times a day, I think he was able to control himself back then. It just sounds like he doesn't want to anymore, or you are so adept at pleasing him that he can't. So how can you get more sexually satisfied with your man?
  1. Take a break: Whether it's a few days or a week, a break will help you rediscover your passion in the boudoir. A Sex Fast (as I like to call them ) is basically both of you agreeing not to have sex for a while but still teasing the hell out of each other. This flirtatious energy and thrill of wanting adds a delicious aura around you both. Especially when you both turn each other on but don't engage in any sexual activities. Absence really does make the heart grow fonder and the pussy cream.
  2. Talk to him: Tell your guy what your issues are. He probably either doesn't know that it's such a big issue or that it's impacting you as much. Communication is the key so be upfront and tell him how you feel. Encourage him and give suggestions on how to please you more.
  3. Take the pressure off: You shouldn't be so focused on the destination as much as the journey. Sex is not just about orgasms, it's about the connection and passion that you share. His lack of hardness might just be him caving to the pressure of your inevitable disappointment. That's a lot of stress for a guy and his little friend. So tell him it's okay, and introduce other elements into the boudoir.
  4. Know Your Weaknesses: You should already know what turns you on and what doesn't. TELL HIM! You can never err in showing your guy what pleases you. Remember, only 30% of women are able to cum with both penetration and clitoral stimulation. You might be in the vast majority and can only cum one way---so know which works best for you.
  5. Let Him Cum First: Don't be so upset by the fact he's a 2 minute wonder. Usually a guys second erection has more durability than the first. So do your thing and if he does cum, keep playing with him until he gets hard again. Then have him do you right.
  6. Get a Cock Ring: I haven't tried one of these but it was just recently suggested by another reader. I guess the premise is that it blocks/slows down the vessels that secrete semen, thereby slowing the orgasmic process for the male. It's worth a try.
  7. Get Freaky: Head to the sex shop with your man and purchase anything your heart desires from naughty lingerie to sex games, handcuffs, blindfolds, flavored condoms and my personal favorite, a wonderful multi-speed bullet or vibrator. This will introduce a whole new adventurous and sexy vibe into your love-play. In addition, I've seen all kinds of gadgets and herbal concoctions in there that are supposed to keep your man hard longer...you might wanna try that too.
I hope this helps and you guys get over your hump and bring the sexy back.

Good luck!

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Thursday, February 14, 2008

V-Day

Valentine's Day isn't a day just for lovers.

It's a day to celebrate the beauty and wonder of being a woman. I call Valentine's Day V-Day, the day of the blessed Vagina, when SHE proves that yet again since the days of old, men are still doing anything to get to her. Ancient religions and cultures used to celebrate and worship and female deity, recognizing that we are the life givers and joy givers to the earth. Mother Nature, Mother Earth, every nurturing characteristic on this planet stems or flows back to the sacred V.

V-Day is a day of pure worship to the pussy. The whole world celebrates and caters to her, some subconsciously following the traditions as old as time...everyone wants the vagina. Don't forget to show yours some love too, for it is the V that makes you the light in the world.

So today, don't just focus on the commercial aspect of Valentine's day and what gifts you are getting and where you are going for dinner. Look past all the roses and chocolates and embrace your full womanhood. V-Day is really all about you.

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Tuesday, February 12, 2008

TMI Tuesday



1. What's the sexiest gesture a person you are sexually interested can make? Put a strand of hair behind my ear, it's such an intimate and sensual gesture...that totally gets me.

2. What are 3 inevitable things about you? I live a life of constant pain, I'm always in some kind of amalgamation of moods and I live for adventure.

3. How many types of orgasms have you experienced? Way too many to count! There are several kinds of orgasms and I would like to think I've experienced about 80% of them. However, I've yet to have the all mighty orgasm that makes me pass out---that will be the day.;)

4. What asset do you have besides the physical and the material? Duh---my brains! That wasn't a hard question at all. And my wickedly slapstick delirious sense of humor.

5. What do you want . . . . now? Norio's cock uh, arms.

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Saturday, February 09, 2008

Review: The Jewish Americans

This show debuted on PBS a while back and I wasn't fortunate enough to see it. However, doing this review brought the stories of the integration of Jews into the US in a beautiful and poignant way to my eyes. The Jews have really shown a great influence in the fabric of American culture today and this series depicts alot of their influence. From great inventions to art, music and culture, the Jews have really contributed in such a beautiful way. I'm not Jewish, but this show actually made me see how being of Judaic origins has such a great impact on your life and how you see the world in general.

It's a great history lesson as well as a journey into the beautiful culture, language, and lives of Jewish America. Check it out on DVD today.

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Thursday, February 07, 2008

Guide to Having Multiple Orgasms

This one's for Yogini.

Having multiple orgasms isn't rocket science provided you are having at least one orgasm when you do cum. The thing about multiples is that you have to totally let yourself go and relax, forget about everything on your mind and focus on how you are feeling. Every cell in your body must be primed to a sexual peak, and once you start with one orgasm keep going.

Most women think that because men take a whole hour to recharge, we are incapable of multiples. But the truth is that a woman's body is made for pleasure and chock full of erogeneous sexy zones. There are different kinds of orgasms that range in intensity, it can start from the tiny shivers that cause your pussy to convulse to the earth shattering ones that cause your whole body to convulse.

The key to multiple orgasms is to keep doing what you are doing. It's easy with a vibrator because you know the combination that works for you and you don't have to focus on someone else's energy. Get yourself in the mood by feeling mentally sexy beforehand, take a bath, light some candles and put on some sexy music.

To stimulate your brain I would suggest some great erotica like Sex Chronicles by Zane. Once you are sufficiently revved up mentally, then start playing with yourself while you read. Let your mind wander and your fingers and toys do the trick until you do come. Play with your nipples as well as your pussy. Now you have to keep in mind that after the first orgasm your clitoris gets ultra sensitive; and the more orgasms you get the more sensitive it gets. So the next orgasm will be just around the corner provided you keep on stimulating yourself. Focus on the same region that got you the first one but with more fine strokes.

I like to describe orgasms as waves, you feel the pleasure building gradually---then you reach the peak and start rapidly cruising down. If you get another one right after, the pleasure is actually increased with the receding pleasure of the first. It's not an Olympic sport, but orgasms should come in multiples, the more the merrier. Usually the second orgasm is smaller than the first, but the third and fourth come in larger waves.

By the fifth, you might start having couplets and triplets, meaning that your orgasms are coming fast and furious, one right on top of another. I've had triplets a bunch of times and those are so INTENSE, you really do start speaking in tongues.

If there is a guy in the picture...then don't give him the impression that one orgasm is good enough. A good lover will want to give you pleasure, and if he knows what he's doing, then he knows to keep on stroking and sucking and making love to you until you are screaming from ecstasy and it feels so good that it's almost otherworldy. The heat has to be consistently growing to keep the orgasmal waves growing, so when he stops what he's doing, then it will bring you floating back to reality before your multiple orgasms. Tell him to keep at it! "Don't stop baby, don't stop," works well I've found.

One of my fav bloggettes, Vix; masturbates for a mininum of 2 hours. That's a whole lot of multiples thrown in there. Once you've conquerd having more than one orgasms, I'll probably be coaxing you into the realms of squirting...lol. This isn't called the Bad Girls Guide for nothing.

You need a skilled and patient lover to get you into the multiple orgasmal lane. However, if there isn't any to be found, then try the vibrator as your best choice to exploring the world of multiple orgasms. Keep at it sweets, you will get there.

Welcome to the Club.

Question: What's the highest number of orgasms you or anyone you know has ever had in one boudoir session?

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Tuesday, February 05, 2008

TMI Tuesday

1. By what nickname(s) were you known as a child? Tee-tos, Tos-tos, To-tin, Tosey-Grossy, Tosey-Wosey. And about 4 other variations of my first name.

2. Do you have a favorite poem and, if so, what is it? Hmmm. Nope. The only fav quote that I can recite is from Shakespeare's Hamlet. "Above this all, to thine own self be true." That's my motto.

3. What is your greatest regret in life, something that you failed to do that you wish you did? I''m not really big on regrets. I figure that as long as you learn from your mistakes and don't make them again; then why live in regret? Just move on and learn. Your mistakes made you the person you are today.

4. You are tired and hungry, but it's too late to cook. If any snack food were available to you, what would you choose and why? I would choose popcorn, because it's filling. Or I would choose Garri, if I had any. Just add sugar and water, and you are full for 4 hours. Love it.
5. What is the oldest item of clothing (not jewelry!) that you wear regularly and what do you love about it? The silk nightgown my grandma gave me 12 years ago is probably one of my oldest pieces of clothing .It's really old and falling apart, but I love it and wear it weekly. It makes me feel like a princess, and makes me look virginal, lol.

Bonus: Name a movie or TV show that changed your thinking or behavior. I'm not as molded by television as I am by books. Books rule me. Something that recently changed my thinking is the Dead Sea Scrolls Deception, by Michael Beigent & Robert Leigh. Talk about a book that can shatter every preconceived notion of your faith---this did it for me. I'm almost afraid to start the series by Zecharias Sitchin.

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Friday, February 01, 2008

Does Size Really Matter?

Okay you all know what size I'm talking about...the size of your guys' cock. I know that the 'politically correct' answer would be to get on the soapbox and say that size doesn't matter, but the honest unvarnished truth is--hell yeah, size does matter.

Let me ask you this, does the size of a woman's butt matter to you? What about her boobs? If you decreased whichever you are most attracted to, would you still be as into the girl as you would be if she had a phat ass booty? Physical attraction isn't just relegated to muscles and a cute face, the size of your package matters to us just as much if not more.

"But Vixen, I have a small dick and all my ex girlfriends told me that it doesn't matter and that I'm great in bed," one guy might argue. Honey, the truth is that sometime in that relationship, your ex was talking to her girls about how small your cock was. She might probably still be talking about it. We do talk about it, just not in the presence of mixed company. We don't want to hurt your feelings, y'know? See us women know how fragile the male ego is and how enshrined it is to one's masculinity and self confidence. So unless we are being cruel heartless bitches, we will do whatever we need to you make you feel secure and wanted. However...in the background...

It matters to me and a whole lot of women that aren't afraid to stand up and stop massaging your ego. Sure we don't want to hurt your feelings, but anything less than 5 inches isn't going to do the trick. The biological reason is that the pussy expands dramatically during sex. So if your cock isn't long or thick enough to handle the expansion, we won't feel a thing since the nerve endings are mostly along the walls of the pussy. So you going all jackhammer-ish on us isnt' going to matter, because we will be feeling just a light massage.

However, if you have a big cock, we will feel everything. And when I say everything, I mean EVERYTHING, every single cell in the pussy will be screaming in desire. Even the expansion is a delightful process and we actually feel full and satiated.

The best way to make up for lack of endowment in the penile domain is to amp up on the foreplay, oral sex, fingering and every other sensual delight you can think of. Because if we are so enraptured and turned on by you, we will be able to accommodate your lack in other respects.

PS: No hate mail fellas...I'm just calling it as I see it.

Okay ladies, sound off...does size matter to you? And what was the size of your smallest/thinnest cock? What did he do to make up for it?

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